Clever children - do you sneer at them, somewhat enviously?

[hunkermunker]

Why?

LOL! thank you my lovely.

I only sneer when they climb onto grand pianos (see other thread) and it is "excused" by their parents because they have a high IQ.

You're welcome

Seriously though, what do people get out of muttering unpleasant things about/to bright children?

Wish I knew.

Do people sneer at clever children? Adults?

I've never noticed that.

Agree about grand pianos. Only plodders should mount musical instruments.

Isn't sneer a fantastic word?

It describes perfectly an adult being lip-curlingly envious of a cleverer child than either they were or their children are.

Quite

Good on you Hunker. I sometimes feel some kids are blighted with high intelligence and it's even worse for their parents who are considered smug if they ever dare mention it.

As the mum of a particularly bright boy I have stopped talking about it to all but close family and his teachers because of the sneering hostility encountered.

It's very frustrating because, like any other mum, I want the best for him and I want to make sure he is properly challenged and stretched at school. At the moment he's being badly failed as he spends so much time waiting.

Anyway, enough about me. In answer to the OP No I certainly don't sneer at clever children. I've always noticed them being sneered at, even bullied for their intelligence.

I think it's an interesting thing to explore.

Why is it so awful to talk about children being bright?

Is it Just Not British?

I think it's pandering to the lowest common denominator, who are often the loudest-mouthed sneeriest ones and can't understand why anyone would want to "do all that borin' readin' sh1t".

I think it is an extension of that attitude in secondary schools where it is seen as "uncool" to be bright. But mostly caused by the green-eyed monster!

I think it's an infer/imply thing.

I hear you braying loudly about your hothoused but average child.

You can't help being proud and excited for your child.

If you're insecure, you'll hear the former when the latter was meant.

I don't often make sweeping statements, but I can't think of a good counter argument to this: if you sneer at a child because of their intelligence, you are a numpty of the very lowest order.

Kerry my ds is 7 and I wondered about him skipping a year. He's bored and way ahead of everyone. It sounds big headed and gets peoples backs up to say it, but it shouldn't. He just happens to be exceptionally bright and as you've pointed out, it's no picnic. At school the children really just want to be like the others at this stage.

Sorry to hear about your ds.

to answer your op yes and i'm not sure why? Britishness maybe?
I am terrible for playing down my 'brighter' childs ability (and she is v clever) i sometimes even justify it by telling people how not clever one of the others are iyswim!
DS1 has in the previous 2 years has done appalingly, but this academic year has down extremly well. Somehow it was so much easier to talk about it when he was doing badly than it is now when he has done so well partly because I am so pleased with him I feel if I tell people I will gush!

Isn't it because so often comments about bright children are taken as an implied put-down; so a comment along the lines of 'my child is doing so well at xyz' is taken to mean '... compared to your bozo child'. (I'm sure there are a few people who boast about their kids with the intention of making others feel small, but I am equally sure that in most cases the implied put-down is not meant like that at all.)

My parents have absolutely no idea about what is 'normal' for kids at various ages, so they will boast really inappropriately about things like, um, I dunno, dd1 knowing that 2+2=4 (... when she is 7!) and that does make we want to crawl under a stone somewhat.

TW, yes, I think it is uncool at secondary school to be bright.

It was at primary school when I was there though too, which was A Great Shame.

My post was in response to hunker, and x-posted with lots of others saying essentially the same thing.

The phrase 'too clever by half' (as frequently employed, sneeringly, by my FIL) could only be an insult in GB, I think.

Grrrrrr....

Ellbell, yes, I think that's the case wrt parents talking to each other.

I remember when I was at junior school, there were two children who were particularly bright wrt maths. It was a two-form entry school, and there was one in each class. One afternoon, the teachers of those classes (who fancied each other - yuck) played their "pet" off against the other - with the rest of their class watching.

Lots of nudgey comments between them and kind of knowing winks - mine's cleverer than yours, but it all meant "and I'm better than you" as well.

I have rarely been more uncomfortable in a lesson - it was a show put on by two adults who ought to have known better.

But then, one of these teachers used to make me set, give and mark spellings to "the slower children" (her words) when I was eight, so professionalism wasn't to be expected, really.

KM, no, I would want to pull limbs off in that instance too. And yes, I know that's wrong, but so is sneering.

i think when they are secondary school and its apparent its not just mad mummy or pushy papa -speak and that Johnny acually is a bright spark...sneering stops and respect kicks in