Clever children - do you sneer at them, somewhat enviously?

[hunkermunker]

Why?

No, totally understandable KM. Apparently a group of kids in her class tell my dd1 she is 'weird'. I haven't made a big thing of it, but it makes my heart bleed .

(She's not exceptionally bright, so it's not a sneery thing, but still...)

D'you think, Otter? Isn't it at secondary school that bright kids get bullied horribly? (Especially if bright, but shy and speccy... Or was that just me?)

no - my boy is well respected and its cos he is bright
he is crap at sport and i am surprised how popular he is...plus folk talk about bright kids

She's just 7 (year 2). She is a bit (don't know how to put this now...) 'unusual' - a daydreamer, tends to go off on flights of fancy and doesn't notice that everyone else hasn't flown there with her... . She's lovely (but I would say that, wouldn't I?).

That's great, Otter.

Yeah, sport is the biggest global force for dumbing down. Teachers encourage it, which only makes things worse.

I would never ever sneer

i take a bit if issue with the g+t label but thats in context of a deep cycicism about the education system and its need to "sort" kids.

i also fail to see why being bright should matter. I don't give a feck if my friends are bright or not. Its their lives.

All little kids are bright, really. But somewhere along the way it goes wrong

I'm following fillyjonk around agreeing with her. Ds2 is bright and I've never noticed anyone sneering at him tbh.

No I don't sneer. I like them, especially if they're a bit weird around the edges too.

No, but I might sneer at their parents if and only if the parents appear to be revelling in their child's achievements in a rather tasteless and overt way.

Nothing wrong with them being as proud as punch about their child amongst close friends and family however

Ah - I may be guilty here as I overheard a proud Mum telling a friend in a very loud voice about her DD a few weeks ago. My DH is dreadful for other people's conversations (I like to think that other people laugh at his too). I was with him and couldn't help but hear what this woman had to say. I posted here and laughed as she had told her friend about her DD being picked out as "gifted and talented" and then said "but she leaves reception soon".

BUT until I posted here I had no idea this scheme existed (no school age children although DS starts in September) just thought she was being very boastful and loud.

I think it's a good thing TBH - if a child shows aptitude then that child should be nurtured, supported and encouraged. I imagine if a child is bright to the point of finding schoolwork very easy then boredom would soon set in.

I was moved up a year and I remember a teacher being sneery about it even then when I was five

(along the lines of "you think you are so clever and then you do this")

It was always best if you didn't show how clever you were. I'm fully expecting to get cut down for this post btw. Yes I do know I did not fulfill my early promise

Like F&Z, at primary school I encountered a couple of teachers (one in particular) who quite clearly did not like me being bright.

It's not just a British thing, IME. One of the worst things for German kids is to be called 'Streber' (their word for swot). I even had my university (teacher training) students saying it students who actually participated in classes. The undertone was definitely sneering.

Never but I've always ensured they were always educated only with other clever children and in schools where academic excellence is respected.

I have found over the years though that parents who think their children are clever and say so, are usually wrong and not that bright themselves. Someone this week was telling me their daughter had a scholarship and was very bright... but when you learned the name of the school you just realised... look, it's nice you think she's bright but they're very keen to get people prepared to go to that school so a scholarship there is not quite the same as elsewhere and don't you as a parent realise that and don't you realise it's not exactly the done thing to say your children are bright.

If there are no private schools there and you don't want him to board then to get him to one you'd have to move so it sounds better that he stays where he is. Probably some children from those local state secondaries do well. In England we have some state boarding schools where you just pay for their food and board but not the education. Also some of the church choir schools if you're very good at singing as a boy treble I think will pay most of your fees but you usually have to board. I'm not very keen on sending children away. You lose your influence over them and they are rejected.

On sports having had 5 children at various schools over nearly 20 years I think some years you get a teacher they get on with and other years not and that's just part of going through school. Just like when you're at work - you have to get to know how to work with people you really don't get on with and often are nasty to you but you adjust and if you've had a few years with an awful teacher that's good practice.

Xenia, do you think it's possible to get a good education in a state school, or do you need to go private? How about only private for secondary school, or does it need to be from nursery?

I think there are some excellent primary schools near here, but the state secondary schools perhaps not so. Would be interested to know which private schools you think good and which not so though.

Franny, I found it better not to be eccentric and quick at school, because it Didn't Do. I could never resist a witty comeback, so I ended up being the one who made everyone laugh and didn't get much else done.

I had some SHOCKINGLY bad teachers, I realise now. Properly appalling. My school experience was, in common with many, I fear, tinged with outright terror. Hardly conducive to learning

' do you think it's possible to get a good education in a state school, or do you need to go private'

christ

infact

bigtime

No, no, no, no - I wasn't suggesting it wasn't possible to get a good education in a state school - just that Xenia has often talked about making sure her children were educated with other clever ones, etc, etc.

I've no experience of the private sector and my experience of state schools is somewhat lacking. In fact, it was awful. And that was at a GOOD school - a sought-after one locally, one that people move into the area to attend.

I was just interested to know what made a private education different from a state one.

forgiven Hunker!!!

Phew!

I don't sneer at children. I think it's a horrible thing to do.

But I love the English one downmanship thing where you can't directly admit that you think your child is the best and brightest and most beautiful but have to imply it via apparently deprecating comments that actually mean "ha ha ha my child is fab!". My mum had that down to an art form- "Good god- the girl is so lazy, she does no work at all! I can't believe she's actually scraped through her exams and do you know she got a U for German- disgraceful!" = "My daughter is so clever she got loads of exams without even trying!" and "She treats this house like a hotel- always out bloody shopping with most unsuitable friends or playing in the band- don't know why she bothers, tone deaf..." = "My daughter is wonderfully well rounded, talented, beautiful and popular!" I notice myself doing it with my lovely boys er I mean little bananaheaded weasels and it makes me miss her and grin to myself. I can see that they know I love them to pieces and think they're the best just like I knew she loved me and thought I was the best.

Sorry, bit off topic, that.