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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Is this normal?

88 replies

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:08

I feel embarrassed to even be writing this but I do sometimes marvel and wonder and then I feel bad for even thinking such things. I know every toddler parent thinks their kid is super smart and I know you can't really tell until they're much older because early in life parental effort has a big impact on skills but as a child gets older it's more and more down to innate ability/personality. I also know there's nothing to "do" about it at this age.

But I swear my kid is super smart and I had such an awful time in school because I was "ahead" (dunno about smart, if we go by the parental investment effect for early development it was probably just that my parents worked with me a lot - once I hit my teens I crashed and burned mightily). I want to keep an eye out so my son can avoid some of the awful experiences I had.

Anyway, my son is 2 on saturday. He is getting close to reading (knows all the letter sounds and has one exactly one occasion successfully blended them). He knew all his 2D shapes before he was 1. He took longer with colours, was about 19 months when he consistently got his colours right. He can get you a number of objects on command but isn't perfect, I mean he will go get the right number if you ask but sometimes he will get excited counting and get more and then if you ask again he gets the right number - at least for numbers up to 6. He can enumerate indefinitely IF you point to the objects. If he points he gets excited and just keeps counting and not paying attention to the objects anymore.

I'd say his drawing ability is pretty much average, he will draw lines and "ovals" (round scribbles) and identify them. He will do a bunch of sharp scribbles and call them writing (like say "that says my name") but he completely lacks the fine motor skill to do better than that.

His gross motor is about normal too I think. It was ahead for a while but he hasn't really got the hang of jumping with 2 feet yet (seen him do it once but he didn't realise he did it - just happened from excitement - and hasn't repeated it). When we colour he tries to stay in the lines but doesn't have anything like the ability to actually do so and mostly he prefers to turn to the blank side of the paper and scribble.

I'd say his social skills were maybe a bit delayed for a while but he seems to be catching up - he copies and participates in group activities (i.e. doing the movements to songs, singing along) at playgroup. He does greet both adults and children finally etc. Still parallel plays for the most part.

His verbal skills are what impress me most, he can tell a (totally nonsensical) story e.g. "the bees buzz and then they go to the flowers when the flowers open, the grass is open and the birds, the birds are fly, and then they went to the shop and got some BREAD!" He's just getting a handle on "why?" and "because". He can talk about and seems to understand "now", "later", "after that", "today", "tomorrow" and "the day after tomorrow". He can use past and present tense versions of verbs. He doesn't yet use ing very often and he still reverses pronouns. He also uses "the" far more than is required.

I guess I am just curious where he is at developmentally. I kept meticulous (and proud) track before my second was born but since then I have not really paid any attention. It is really fascinating to watch his little personality unfold though.

Do you think this is a pretty normal level for a just about 2 year old?

OP posts:
heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 15:27

Judging by the comments on here our school (very small school) seems to be well above average compared to everyone else! Don’t worry about your child, I’ve found a lot of parents who brag about their children being g and t early on and then their progress decreases rapidly whilst everyone else catches up and before you know it that g and t kid is getting bad GCSEs

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 15:31

Oh I’m not worried at all, just surprised. I showed this thread to MIL (retired now but was a primary private school teacher and then later ran her own private nursery) and she said she never encountered a 1 year old who could read, and only one G&T 2 year old who could read in her career, so she was surprised to hear it’s the norm in your area too. I’m not concerned in the slightest!

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 15:32

Maybe it's different upbringing I don’t know. Unless it's normal in your area I guess we don’t know about the rest of the population. My main thing was that I hate parents who brag about their children

RoboJesus · 05/07/2018 16:50

Sounds like theres a good chance you might have a gifted little one on your hands. Just allow them to do their thing. If that's educational then facilitate that and don't let other people's opinions stop you.

Thesearmsofmine · 05/07/2018 17:08

Yes OP your ds is doing great. My eldest was very similar, he is 7 now and loves to read and is working several years ahead in maths. My youngest is 2 and knows his letter sounds, can count a bit and knows shapes and colours but I think mostly picked up from my older two.

I wouldn’t overthink it at this age though and would concentrate on spending lots of time outside, getting messy and having fun with him because it is a lovely age.

heatwave, I am a qualified early years practitioner(degree level) and would be concerned at any nursery nurse thinking that a 1 year old blending words is average. It isn’t.

corythatwas · 05/07/2018 17:41

He sounds a bright little lad and great fun.

I wouldn't worry at all about him struggling socially when he is older: there is absolutely no 1:1 correspondence between academic giftedness and social difficulties. Some of the brightest people I have known have also been socially gifted (and musical and good at sports).

Otoh I have also known moderately bright people with social difficulties who grew up thinking they must be extremely gifted as they couldn't get on with the "ordinary" children around them. Which was sad, not least because they then got to uni and found they weren't all that gifted at all.

So good case for just enjoying him and not thinking too far ahead. Having a child who is interested in things and able to express his interest is fun. That's all it needs to be for now.

Qcumber · 05/07/2018 18:30

My 2 year old can't say a single word. She understands me. She babbles. She signs some words. She likes colouring. She likes banging pots with spoons and making animal noises.
Your son sounds lovely. They're all so different. I would stop thinking about how advanced or not he is and just nurture him.
Heatwave. You sound difficult. I hope you and your very very smart children and your imaginary friends are all having a great time.

user789653241 · 05/07/2018 19:39

heatwave2018, what is wrong with you? Why do you need to be so mean?
It's ok to be proud and talk about dc's ability or talent here. It's G&T board.
And OP, I think your child is very advanced. Don't worry about nasty people.

MedicinalGin · 05/07/2018 19:43

Heatwave sounds very overinvested in this- screenshotting mumsnet discussions to send to all your mates down the [shit sounding] nursery school in order to grant you back up in bashing a two year old’s nice-sounding mum is not a productive way to spend your time.

Were you not g&t as a two year old, heatwave? Are you still a bit bitter? Flowers

MoonlightMedicine · 05/07/2018 19:44

He sounds really bright OP. Enjoy him, it’s so lovely watching them learn when they are so engaged.

Fresta · 05/07/2018 19:53

He’s not bloody average if he could name shapes before 1 and knows all the letter sounds at not even 2 years old. He’s maybe not destined to be a rocket scientist but he’s sure to be very bright!

BrieAndChilli · 05/07/2018 19:55

My extremely gifted DS1 didn’t utter a single word until he was 2 and a bit at which point we realised he could read fluently.
DD on the other hand could hold her own in a conversation with an adult by 18 months, could colour in the lines better than me and started writing very early. She’s bright but not gifted.

Neolara · 05/07/2018 20:01

That's most certainly not normal OP. However, it's difficult to know at this stage whether your dc will stay more advanced than their peers, or whether their peers will catch up.

My dd was barely putting two words together at 24 months, couldn't read until year 2 and was in the bottom groups for what seemed like years. In secondary school, she is now doing very well (eg predicted top grades in all subjects). At 2 she was delightful but demonstrated very little academic potential!

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 20:02

My perfectly normally clever (just graduated with a 2.1 so a failure in Mumsnet terms) couldtalk so strangers could understand her at 12 months and gave an interview about a new swimming pool on local TV at 18 months...... She wasn't particularly clever, she was just good at talking!

lljkk · 05/07/2018 20:23

I was just thinking... DD was quite a turnip-brain by MN standards as a toddler. Turned into hyper-confident self-motivating on track to get very high GCSE results teenager.

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 20:40

@BertrandRussell in some ways I'd like it if my kids turned out to be a bit of a flop - kind of a family tradition - my dad got a 3rd (after setting fire to the lab and going to the dog track instead of doing his final project), I got a 2.2 (after procrastinating until the last week to do my final project - after 3 degree subject changes, chemistry to history to computer science - and then instead of doing it getting obsessed with the Boston Bombing which happened at the time), self-destructive behaviour is a family trait on both sides (my husband is a pro at it too).

But of course there is the side of me that would like them to escape that tradition too :P.

OP posts:
BettertoChange · 05/07/2018 21:03

irvineoneohone, do you think accuse someone mean is very generous? I am proud of my DC to be normal and I like my DC to be normal. Nobody can be good at everything. As long as DC tried and I will be proud of whatever achieved.

user789653241 · 05/07/2018 21:14

Betterto, sorry, I don't get what you mean. So do you actually think heatwave has good intentions in her comment to Op?

BettertoChange · 05/07/2018 21:51

irvineoneohone , Do you want your DS to be normal or G&T? When he won something, do you say to him that you are proud of him because of his hard working or because he is a genius?

user789653241 · 05/07/2018 21:57

Sorry, I still don't get your point, Betterto. Very confused, tbh.

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 21:59

I don’t get your point either BettertoChange. irvineoneohone said Heatwave because of her shitty comments on this thread. Not because she is only proud of her son if he’s a genius Confused

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 21:59

Said Heatwave was mean, I meant

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 22:50

You guys make me laugh I can see why they say it's the mumsnet mafia on here haha. This thread made me laugh cause of the comments on here showed it to a friend I was with and she replied on here as me. Then she wanted me to send it to her friends who work at the nursery school and have masters. Honestly someone asks for an opinion and you get shot down for offering one so much for free speech on here. I aint being mean I’m just saying what I’ve been told and I just hate people bragging

user789653241 · 05/07/2018 23:28

Uhmm, but you said your dc can do all those average things, so, you are bragging too, heatwave?

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 05/07/2018 23:31

Sounds similar to me at that age, OP. I wouldn't claim to be gifted or talented but I was well above average. Ds is similar but I am very carefully not pushing him... takes all my will power sometimes as I'm quite competitive but I want to be sure that learning stays fun.

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