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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Is this normal?

88 replies

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:08

I feel embarrassed to even be writing this but I do sometimes marvel and wonder and then I feel bad for even thinking such things. I know every toddler parent thinks their kid is super smart and I know you can't really tell until they're much older because early in life parental effort has a big impact on skills but as a child gets older it's more and more down to innate ability/personality. I also know there's nothing to "do" about it at this age.

But I swear my kid is super smart and I had such an awful time in school because I was "ahead" (dunno about smart, if we go by the parental investment effect for early development it was probably just that my parents worked with me a lot - once I hit my teens I crashed and burned mightily). I want to keep an eye out so my son can avoid some of the awful experiences I had.

Anyway, my son is 2 on saturday. He is getting close to reading (knows all the letter sounds and has one exactly one occasion successfully blended them). He knew all his 2D shapes before he was 1. He took longer with colours, was about 19 months when he consistently got his colours right. He can get you a number of objects on command but isn't perfect, I mean he will go get the right number if you ask but sometimes he will get excited counting and get more and then if you ask again he gets the right number - at least for numbers up to 6. He can enumerate indefinitely IF you point to the objects. If he points he gets excited and just keeps counting and not paying attention to the objects anymore.

I'd say his drawing ability is pretty much average, he will draw lines and "ovals" (round scribbles) and identify them. He will do a bunch of sharp scribbles and call them writing (like say "that says my name") but he completely lacks the fine motor skill to do better than that.

His gross motor is about normal too I think. It was ahead for a while but he hasn't really got the hang of jumping with 2 feet yet (seen him do it once but he didn't realise he did it - just happened from excitement - and hasn't repeated it). When we colour he tries to stay in the lines but doesn't have anything like the ability to actually do so and mostly he prefers to turn to the blank side of the paper and scribble.

I'd say his social skills were maybe a bit delayed for a while but he seems to be catching up - he copies and participates in group activities (i.e. doing the movements to songs, singing along) at playgroup. He does greet both adults and children finally etc. Still parallel plays for the most part.

His verbal skills are what impress me most, he can tell a (totally nonsensical) story e.g. "the bees buzz and then they go to the flowers when the flowers open, the grass is open and the birds, the birds are fly, and then they went to the shop and got some BREAD!" He's just getting a handle on "why?" and "because". He can talk about and seems to understand "now", "later", "after that", "today", "tomorrow" and "the day after tomorrow". He can use past and present tense versions of verbs. He doesn't yet use ing very often and he still reverses pronouns. He also uses "the" far more than is required.

I guess I am just curious where he is at developmentally. I kept meticulous (and proud) track before my second was born but since then I have not really paid any attention. It is really fascinating to watch his little personality unfold though.

Do you think this is a pretty normal level for a just about 2 year old?

OP posts:
Namechange128 · 05/07/2018 14:10

Ignore all the people saying this is average - it's really not. Also doesn't mean he'll necessarily be a Nobel prize winner at 25 or even so advanced by 7, but he's clearly ahead for his age. My dd2 has just turned three, and is bang on average with most of her friends, and not far ahead of what you are describing with your DS. My dd1 was around where he is - partly because she enjoyed indoors learning activities more, partly because she was the first so got loads of time to focus on these things. At school now she's one of the ones who gets extra challenge sets but isn't far and away above the others in her year.

It's not quite clear what you want to 'keep an eye out' for though. At the moment, the only pressure (or not) will be coming from you, so perhaps the best thing is just to continue to give him lots of opportunities to develop, including areas that aren't always covered in school (my DD has loved science and geography, Montessori groups have tons of good ideas here), and make sure you aren't accidentally the one hothousing him and recreating history here. Stopping keeping meticulous and proud track was probably a good idea.

Also make sure that your second doesn't get the message that he/she is slower, like you said, parental investment is a big part here and even if they're equally bright, it might take a little longer for dc2 to reach the same achievements.

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 14:10

@wishywashy6

Oh that reminds me so much of me when I was a child. My brother is autistic so I have a massive radar for every potential red flag in my son. I think so far theres no real indication of it (although maybe some traits to keep an eye on - like the pronoun thing, normal at his age but if it doesn't go away then it might be an issue) but I know with milder forms of aspergers it can not become apparent until the more complex social environment of adolescence.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 14:11

“One of my mates is a nursery school assistant and she has just read this post and says your child is average as that is common behaviour in the nursery“

Bollocks.

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 14:12

Okay update, my mate who works at a nursery school got me to screenshot OP post and send it to her. She asked her colleagues and they all say the child isn't above average

Somersetter · 05/07/2018 14:14

@heatwave2018 are you honestly claiming the average nearly-2yo can read all the letters of the alphabet? 😂

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 14:15

Som.. I’m not saying all kids I’m just saying from what my nursery school mate and her colleagues have seen it's average

IveGotBillsTheyreMultiplying · 05/07/2018 14:16

A nursery school might be the year before school so 3-4 rather than 2?

Somersetter · 05/07/2018 14:17

And do you honestly believe that? I doubt an average child 12 months older than that knows all their letters.

memaymamo · 05/07/2018 14:17

Well above average in my books! My 3 are all pretty bright and curious and none were as advanced as what you describe.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/07/2018 14:18

Okay update, my mate who works at a nursery school got me to screenshot OP post and send it to her. She asked her colleagues and they all say the child isn't above average

This is gold. Tell us more about your friend and her colleagues! Please!

Somersetter · 05/07/2018 14:20

This is gold. Tell us more about your friend and her colleagues! Please!

Grin GrinGrin

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/07/2018 14:21

no one cares what anyone thinks on here, everyone gives an opinion and no one gives a shit

I feel sorry for you that you think that. A lot of women in this board are incredibly helpful and knowledgeable. I’m always glad they share their experiences with me.

What I don’t understand is why people who have know knowledge about or experience with G&T children feel the need to come on here and comment. Exactly what do you think you’re achieving by telling a woman that her clearly above-average child isn’t that smart after all? Why bother?

Camomila · 05/07/2018 14:23

I used to be an early years teacher in a very MC bit of South West London. Quite a few of my three/four year olds could read a bit/recognise phonics/write their names....most of the 2 year olds were still at the wondering around licking things stage Grin

He does sound bright OP, but it's too soon to tell if he'll stay that way or if he's just doing things one thing at the time and will then concentrate on the physical and emotional stuff.

If you can't find Forest schools nearby and are a bitt Hmm about Waldorf I am a big fan of the Montessori approach.

wishywashy6 · 05/07/2018 14:32

@DieAntword

I have no first hand experience of Aspergers or Autism as such but it did cross my mind when DD was younger that she may possess some traits but I didn't really know what to look out for and neither nursery or school ever picked up on anything so I dismissed it as me being paranoid!

Now she's a bit older she seems to be developing better socially. She has a very dry sense of humour which sometimes seems beyond her years - as in she makes adults laugh but some kids her age don't always get it. Her friends are a good group now though and she's becoming much more confident in social situations (she's recently joined brownies which she absolutely loves) and that's something she'd have never done a couple of years ago

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 14:36

@wishywashy6 that's great. I know for me I was an outcast at primary until I was about 14, suddenly when your around that age it changes from being cool to be the same to being cool to be weird and I was suddenly really cool. Before that I only really had older friends (plus my best friend who I met at music theory class: "the most expensive chat your parents pay for all week" and another friend who was just as weird as me - we organised a school election and campaigned for the communist party xD).

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 14:51

"Som.. I’m not saying all kids I’m just saying from what my nursery school mate and her colleagues have seen it's average"
The nursery isn't in a village called Midwich, is it?

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 14:57

The nursery school takes on any children who need childcare from 1 year onwards. The OP was wondering if the child was gifted and talented and if it was average I was only going off what my mates have said

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2018 15:03

Your mates are talking bollocks.

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 15:06

heatwave2018 do you have DC? If so, could yours sound out words before they were 2?

KoshaMangsho · 05/07/2018 15:09

Ok DS1 was exactly like this. He’s 6.5 and very much top of the class (at a London prep school that is selective just for context) but he’s not a prodigy. He is well ahead in maths, writes well, reads a lot and is a kind polite boy. He’s a musical boy and plays two instruments though. He had a lot of innate ability at a lot of things as a child but in primary school what’s really helped is that he’s quite resilient and determined.
What did we do with him? I taught him stuff at home, played lots of board games, discussed things a lot (like the news) and read and read and read to him.
And no 2 year olds knowing how to read is not remotely average. But it might even out as he gets older.

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 15:14

Yes I have a 6 year old and yes they could do that

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 15:15

Geesh talk about mumsnet mafia. You are almost as bad as the government you lot just ignoring anyone's opinions (and expert knowledge) if they don’t suit your opinion!

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 15:16

He could read before he was 2? Fantastic! Is he still gifted and talented?

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 15:18

She* and yes although compared to her classmates she isn't. It just seemed normal amongst our class to be able to do that

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 15:21

I’m surprised by how behind my DC are now 🤷🏻‍♀️. They would be considered very behind at your school it seems. DD1 is 4.5 and can read fluently (she starts school in september) but couldn’t sound words out until nearly 4. DD2 is just 3 and recognises her letter sounds (has learned this in the last month) and can write her name but is nowhere near reading, and her nursery seem to think she’s above average. Good job we don’t live where you do!

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