Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Is this normal?

88 replies

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:08

I feel embarrassed to even be writing this but I do sometimes marvel and wonder and then I feel bad for even thinking such things. I know every toddler parent thinks their kid is super smart and I know you can't really tell until they're much older because early in life parental effort has a big impact on skills but as a child gets older it's more and more down to innate ability/personality. I also know there's nothing to "do" about it at this age.

But I swear my kid is super smart and I had such an awful time in school because I was "ahead" (dunno about smart, if we go by the parental investment effect for early development it was probably just that my parents worked with me a lot - once I hit my teens I crashed and burned mightily). I want to keep an eye out so my son can avoid some of the awful experiences I had.

Anyway, my son is 2 on saturday. He is getting close to reading (knows all the letter sounds and has one exactly one occasion successfully blended them). He knew all his 2D shapes before he was 1. He took longer with colours, was about 19 months when he consistently got his colours right. He can get you a number of objects on command but isn't perfect, I mean he will go get the right number if you ask but sometimes he will get excited counting and get more and then if you ask again he gets the right number - at least for numbers up to 6. He can enumerate indefinitely IF you point to the objects. If he points he gets excited and just keeps counting and not paying attention to the objects anymore.

I'd say his drawing ability is pretty much average, he will draw lines and "ovals" (round scribbles) and identify them. He will do a bunch of sharp scribbles and call them writing (like say "that says my name") but he completely lacks the fine motor skill to do better than that.

His gross motor is about normal too I think. It was ahead for a while but he hasn't really got the hang of jumping with 2 feet yet (seen him do it once but he didn't realise he did it - just happened from excitement - and hasn't repeated it). When we colour he tries to stay in the lines but doesn't have anything like the ability to actually do so and mostly he prefers to turn to the blank side of the paper and scribble.

I'd say his social skills were maybe a bit delayed for a while but he seems to be catching up - he copies and participates in group activities (i.e. doing the movements to songs, singing along) at playgroup. He does greet both adults and children finally etc. Still parallel plays for the most part.

His verbal skills are what impress me most, he can tell a (totally nonsensical) story e.g. "the bees buzz and then they go to the flowers when the flowers open, the grass is open and the birds, the birds are fly, and then they went to the shop and got some BREAD!" He's just getting a handle on "why?" and "because". He can talk about and seems to understand "now", "later", "after that", "today", "tomorrow" and "the day after tomorrow". He can use past and present tense versions of verbs. He doesn't yet use ing very often and he still reverses pronouns. He also uses "the" far more than is required.

I guess I am just curious where he is at developmentally. I kept meticulous (and proud) track before my second was born but since then I have not really paid any attention. It is really fascinating to watch his little personality unfold though.

Do you think this is a pretty normal level for a just about 2 year old?

OP posts:
heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 13:14

Sorry to disappoint but that’s average for that age

MedicinalGin · 05/07/2018 13:18

It might be that he is super bright or it might be that he is an early bloomer OP. I think at this stage you have to just let his little personality unfold and grow and see where it takes you both- he sounds v happy and secure and that’s the most important thing.

Off topic slightly but are you a teacher? It sounds like you know a lot about early childhood development! I specialise in Early Years and I had to work really hard when mine were little not to over analyse everything and plot them on the eyfs curriculum ages and stages all the time! I think as long as you continue to support his interests and engage with him, you can’t go far wrong - he is different to you and you are different to your parents so try not to find yourself haunted by what has happened before in your life. Best of luck with everything - he sounds fab Smile

Somersetter · 05/07/2018 13:19

To know all his letter sounds aged almost 2 is definitely not "average"! Do you mean he can actually recognise the printed letters and say them out loud? I think that's really impressive.

I wouldn't worry though - encourage him and enjoy it. Smile

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 13:24

I would say recognising letter sounds and blending words before 2 is ahead of average!
Verbally he is very similar to my DD2 at that age. She was also telling us lengthy stories well before the age of 2! Worth noting though that DD1 was a much later talker but by 2.5 they were both pretty much at the same stage with talking (DD1 barely said a word until 2 but then started talking in full, grammatically correct sentences... she’s a perfectionist!).
He sounds bright and curious and eager to learn... I wouldn’t over think it!

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 13:28

One of my mates is a nursery school assistant and she has just read this post and says your child is average as that is common behaviour in the nursery

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:30

@heatwave well my little boys are always going to be amazing to me _

@MedicinalGin not a teacher, just tend to get a bit obsessed with things so when I had my first I got really obsessed with child development (I always ask people at playgroups how old their kid is because I am curious about it, sometimes I forget the polite thing is to ask their names and say hi first!)

@Somersetter yeah points to the letters and says the sounds (he used to say the letter names but we switched to talking about the sound now so usually it's the sound).

@SoyDora I want my second to start talking so bad so I can hear their conversations but I'll be quite happy if he doesn't learn to walk for as loooong as he likes!

OP posts:
heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 13:32

OP of course your boys are going to be amazing to you. Children always are to their parents I just don’t want you to brag to other parents etc and be disappointed when lots of other parents can do that and a lot more

SleepFreeZone · 05/07/2018 13:34

I love these threads 🤣

OP : is my nearly two year old super smart? He can recite War and Peace in three different languages and knew all the elements from the periodic table when they were 18 months
Mumsnet: sorry to disappoint. Totally average.

LOLS Grin

mosessupposes · 05/07/2018 13:36

Sounds pretty normal to me. Especially the counting and the colours, very normal. My son also did all the letter sounds very, very early, at about 19 months, but he is not all precocious, just normal, he was just interested in letters, and now he's 9 and a very keen reader, but still normal.

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:36

@heatwave2018 Why would I be disappointed if someone else's kid could do something? Surely I'd be happy for them?

I do already talk to other parents and lots of them can do things my son can't do. A girl we know can write very wobbly letters and actually draw shapes that look like the shape, my son can't do that. And lots of 2 year olds we know can jump with two feet which my son doesn't do yet.

OP posts:
gillybeanz · 05/07/2018 13:36

OP, I have an off the scale G&T child. I do think you can tell from an early age but only on hindsight iyswim.
I think they do show signs early on but agree with development ranges at such a young age it's impossible to determine.
For us, it's looking back at her behaviour over the past 12 or so years that enables us to say, "Oh yes, she did x y z that was unusual for her age" or "That's why she was like that" etc.

Just let your child lead the way and over time you will see where their preference and ability lies. Then, you can encourage and support in that direction.

SleepFreeZone · 05/07/2018 13:37

By comparison OP my 2.5 year old is a fricking genius. He can say about five words, isn’t potty trained and is currently sans nappy, watching Bing, licking chocolate cake mixture from a whisk. Mensa are on speed dial 😜

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 13:37

Some parents are disappointed when they think their child is above average and they find out they aren’t

SoyDora · 05/07/2018 13:39

OP was just asking heatwave2018. I don’t think she was planning on turning up at Mensa HQ and demanding they recruit her child.

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:42

@SoyDora I'll just call CERN and tell them to cancel the plans for his internship :P Turns out he's a 2 year old after all!

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 05/07/2018 13:45

My DD (now 8) was similar. She was vocal well before she was mobile (as in she spoke well in sentences before she was walking)
She could name colours/ shapes/ numbers & letters before she was 2 as well as doing 50 piece jigsaws. People would regularly comment about how "clever" she was. She was reading before she started school also.
It was never something we pushed, she's 8 now and is still very academic. She's in the top end of her class at school and her teacher says she's achieving highly particularly with maths and reading.
She does however put an immense amount of pressure on herself, she hates being unable to do things and often gets really stressed over whether her homework is good enough etc so at home we tend to focus on broadening her mind through things that don't put such pressure on her. Learning through nature, getting mucky, hands on stuff & that kind of thing.
In comparison my boy (5) is totally the opposite, his imagination is far wilder than my DD's (I often wonder if he's from this planet 😂) and he's naturally much better at sports etc. He's doing ok with his reading etc at school but he's far more interested in sitting in puddles with the dog than anything else which is also fine by me!!
Encourage and enhance as much as possible but more importantly just enjoy him

howfaralong · 05/07/2018 13:47

This board is even more brutal than AIBU... I swear people hang out here ready to cut down parents with genuine questions.

The reading thing is well ahead! Not sure how it will pan out but definitely a clever cookie!

One of my mates is a nursery school assistant and she has just read this post and says your child is average as that is common behaviour in the nursery

^ tripe. Maybe in children who are 4. Stop being deliberately horrid. The heat must be getting to you sure enough.

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 13:50

Howfar it's not tripe she works at a nursery school and sees this a lot. She is just expressing what she sees and knows to be true

DieAntword · 05/07/2018 13:54

@wishywashy6 Ah yeah, I really want to find a forest kindergarten for him because I think that would be great for him but I haven't found any round here (some nurseries seem to do them once a week but it all sounds very sanitised and controlled compared to a danish style one). I'm half tempted to send him to waldorf for kindy even though I think it's a load of nonsense mostly XD.

OP posts:
Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/07/2018 13:58

This board is even more brutal than AIBU... I swear people hang out here ready to cut down parents with genuine questions.

Most 2 year olds don’t know their letters. Your DS is definitely advanced.

Heatwave, no one cares what your “friend” thinks.

BoneShaker · 05/07/2018 13:59

I would say he sounds like a bright little boy.

On MN you could tell people that your toddler had written seven operas, three novels, and was in line for a place at Oxford - and people would still be lining up to tell you that he was perfectly average.

Flatpackjackie · 05/07/2018 13:59

I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss him with the "early bloomer" type phrases.

My eldest read the word 'cup' completely out of any recognisable context a month before his second birthday and was able to add and subtract single digit numbers soon after that. His learning was totally led by him, but we encouraged it as he enjoyed it so much.

By the time he start school at four (his birthday is the beginning of July, so young in the year), his reading comprehension was years ahead, as was his writing. He wrote a very simple story about a duck hatching out of an egg on his first day.

He's now in Year 8 and is taking his GCSEs early. He finds science subjects particularly straight-forward.

Interestingly, he was also very precocious physically in his early years (drop-kicking footballs at eighteen months; riding a bicycle at age two etc), but this did slow down and 'even out'. He's still a reasonable sportsman, but isn't noticeably skilled.

My point is - don't dismiss it. Allow your DS to enjoy learning new skills and encourage him.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 05/07/2018 14:00

OP, my DS is very advanced too and we found Montessori was a great fit for him, if you have one. Genuinely gifted kids tend to be quite moralistic and sometimes struggle to cope with the free for all that is normal preschools. I have heard a lot of parents of G&Ts say Montessori was great for their kids.

wishywashy6 · 05/07/2018 14:05

@DieAntword

The nursery mine went to was very outdoor orientated which we loved. I think DS may be the next Bear Grylls so it was great for him ... He'd live in the garden if I let him 😂

One thing I remember with DD at the same age as well is that she wasn't keen on playing with other children too much. If we went to playgroups etc she always came to sit with the adults to "chat" or do jigsaws and went through reception without really having many friends as such (her choice... she genuinely didn't seem to want to associate much with other children her age!)

She's now got a good little group of friends which I'm glad about, it used to worry me a bit that she only seemed interested in adults!

heatwave2018 · 05/07/2018 14:06

I... no one cares what anyone thinks on here, everyone gives an opinion and no one gives a shit