Irvine I fully agree with you.
A teacher that is ready to listen to me as a parent and is willing to work cooperatively will always get my respect too.
Because respect has come both ways, me to her job and the fact she is the professional. And her towards me respecting that I'm the mother and know my child (with the proviso that children don't always behave the same way at home and school).
Respect coming from being 'more educated' has one big issue imo. In some ways, it comes from fear and lack of knowledge/understanding. And that means that this respect can be eroded quite easily (Actually I think it's true for parents and for pupils, esp the bright ones that can have more knowledge than the teacher in some areas).
re text books.
Based only on my experience (so feel free too disagree), it can be very hard to be able to teach with just one textbook. I can't remember teachers using the ones we had very much. They usually went for the one they preferred (which usually wasn't the one chosen by the scghool 5 years ago) so we had lots of exercises copied from books/modified ny the teacher etc...
However, I do have an issue with no textbook/notebook/whatever support with referrences to the work done in class becuase it means children have very very little ressources available to work at home, something I would expect lower and middle ability children will need ever more than the higher ability children.
I also think that a textbook with lots of exercises means an easy source (even not perfect) of material that will help 'deepen the understanding' of higher ability students. So Little Johnny has finished more quickly than thought the exercises he was supposed to do, here is another one that will take it further. (Or little Johnny actually has struggled with the first basic exercise, let's give him another at the same level rather than doing the next two that are more difficult iyswim).
Another way we used them was as a source of information (in effect to do some research). Maybe this is not necessary now with the Internet (but again with the proviso the children are guided towards the most helpful websites).