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Gifted and talented

Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Original poster

Is my DS (age 4) G&T

24 replies

KittyMcAllister · 14/12/2013 11:22

I wonder if anyone can shed any light on this for me?

My DS is 4, his birthday was in September so he won't be at school till next year, however I'm wondering whether he has some G&T traits or if I'm being PFB?!

He has an amazing vocabulary and never stops talking (has been like this since v young); his sentence construction is quite complex & he says things like "if you were me" in context. The other day he was explaining to me what a hypothesis was and he is endlessly curious about a wide variety of subjects such as the rotation of the earth & anatomy & physiology. He can easily do 50-75 piece jigsaws on his own and has an outstanding visual memory for things I haven't even noticed. He can recognise all letters in the alphabet (phonics) and some 3 letter words, as well as being able to do simple sums.

So experts: what do you think? And what more should I be doing with him (if anything?) Hr attends nursery 2 days a week and they do do some "lessons" with the older children.

TIA x

OP posts:

TrinityRhinoTheUltimateQueen · 14/12/2013 11:27

apart from explaining what a hypothesis is, he sounds like my girls at 4

just keep him interested in the world around him and learning about it

he sounds lovely

Original poster

KittyMcAllister · 14/12/2013 12:29

Thanks! He is lovely but I just find myself exasperated sometimes with the non-stop barrage of questions! I know it's great he's so inquisitive though.

OP posts:

MaryMaryChristmas · 14/12/2013 13:40

apart from explaining what a hypothesis is he sounds about same level as my 3.7 year old. Find some of my answers are becoming 'because it just it'

CarolPrankster · 16/12/2013 14:07

He is exactly the same age as my DS. My DS does not have a great vocabulary and he was a late talker and lacks confidence with pronouncing words as he has a very large tongue however he has effectively taught himself to read - It has only been a few weeks that I have fully understood how good his reading is; he will confidently read short sentences with 3 and 4 letter words and will also attempt to read longer words if I help to break them down.

I am also under a non stop barrage of questions and it is exhausting, you have my sympathy. I find with DS that unless I give some direction he will set his own learning targets that can be unrealistic and frustrating for him (a subject that they are on in nursery is planets and stars and he loves it but became a little overwhelmed when he realised quite how much he could learn!). So I try to identify where his curiosity has taken him and then direct it a little, this helps to keep it manageable for me as well. He is only four so sometimes his concentration lasts for 5 mins other times, if he is really taken by a subject, we will spend most of the day with it - with reading he has been focussing his efforts since he was less than 18 months, I'm hoping that it will become less of an obsession now that he seems to have cracked it! Numbers are a huge interest to DS so if he is driving me mad with questions I will set him some simple addition sums, I have also started to teach him his times tables as they are lovely and repetitive and he loves it.

Personally I have no interest in extra 'lessons' or tutoring. If he really is that bright I fail to see what benefit it will be to him in the long run. Maybe when he starts school I will look at extras for him if he seems bored or frustrated but tbh he seems to be so self motivated anyway I'm not sure I will ever need to push it.

Sorry I have gone on a bit, I sometimes feel quite isolated as no one in RL wants to hear me bang on about how clever DS is so I'm quite excited to find someone with a boy of exactly the same age and similar interests. Good luck

lougle · 16/12/2013 14:14

It's lovely but I don't think G&T (for what it's worth) is necessarily how it would be described. Some children just absorb words and phrases and slot them into their vocabularies.

DD3 is like that. She's 4.8 and she just comes out with things like 'Could you do x at some point?' She's heard us say it and has the ability to pick up context very well.

bruffin · 16/12/2013 14:29

From what i have been told about my DS now 18. It 's the type of questions he asks, rather than just the constant questioning. He is a very deep thinker.

AnnBryce · 16/12/2013 14:32

My sep born son was very like yours. He's doing very well at school but isn't g&t, just a bright, inquisitive boy.

givemeaclue · 16/12/2013 14:34

Seems bright but normal excp for hypothesis. Keep talking reading and answering questions. Go to library get non fiction as well as ficti books

Original poster

KittyMcAllister · 16/12/2013 17:43

Thanks for the advice everyone

Carol sounds like we are in the same boat! Good advice about directing him. He sometimes seems restless & bored and I always wonder if it's better to stimulate him or encourage him to chill out - he's just non-stop and it gets relentless. He has a little sister too and he does dominate proceedings!

OP posts:

3bunnies · 16/12/2013 21:34

I am wondering the same about ds. He too was 4 in Sept and seems to be finding learning v easy. His vocab is v good and we started him on pink books in September. He is currently on green books and is fairly fluent and I think he needs to go up again. He easily read 24 pages in one sitting. He picked up white level recently which dd2 is reading in yr 2 and read a page. He can count to 100 in English and 20 in French, he now says that he wants to learn Spanish. He can do simple sums in his head (of the 7-2 variety so not genius level).

I find it hard being excited for him but encouraging my older DDs too. He has said that he wants to overtake dd2 in reading - which has prompted her to actually be bothered to read but I do wonder how I will manage the situation if he continues to learn at this rate.

I also am concerned about starting school as he will be one of the oldest and so already at a natural advantage. He is however fairly laid back and friendly. I just hope they can channel him appropriately and keep his mischief contained.

CarolPrankster · 17/12/2013 12:08

Yes they will be the oldest in their class and at this age the difference in six months is massive. I find DS has a lot of physical energy as well as mental energy, if it was just me and him I would find it hard to keep up but he has three older brothers who play endlessly with him and are so proud of his achievements, takes the pressure off me.

I think in the end it will probably even out in school its just that for the first few years they will be ahead. If it comes to it I will stick him in some extra lessons after school as I do think they need to find things hard sometimes :)

mistlethrush · 17/12/2013 12:13

My April born son was similar - I got 'I know that calpol works, but how does it work' at about 4 (and had to consult a medical friend and then put it into appropriate words) - in fact I think the only disadvantage with him being classed as 'summer born' (ie summer term birthday) was that he found it really difficult to sit still in lessons.

bishbashboosh · 17/12/2013 12:57

It sounds like my 3.9 year old daughter, they're amazing at that age aren't they ??

My 7 year old ds has been assessed as gifted AND talented, in two seperate areas, in afraid he wasn't quite so delightful at that age

TantrumsStoleSantasBalloons · 17/12/2013 13:04

I don't think you should be thinking in terms of gifted and talented at 4 tbh.
But that is mainly because I find the whole g&t label meaningless. And I have 2 on that "register" one in 3 seperate areas apparently. It hasn't made a single bit of difference, it honestly hasn't.

Going into reception, it evens itself at at some point, yes he will probably be ahead of the other children academically but reception and year 1 are not just about who can read first or write sentences or get through the book bands the quickest.

Labeling a child at 4 as being gifted seems a bit off to me.

You know he is bright and inquisitive, that he has good understanding, etc. it's not going to change because you put a g&t label on him. It represents the top % of students in that paticular class so what is gifted in one class may not be in the school 10 minutes away.

noblegiraffe · 17/12/2013 13:12

My 4 year old is similar, but because he was born mid-August he is already in school. Which is good because he can pester the teacher with his questions instead of me :)

School haven't said anything about him being bright, but I suppose he is in a class with some kids who are a year older than him so at least he isn't behind them.

Good luck with keeping your DS occupied till school!

noblegiraffe · 17/12/2013 13:14

Btw, if you have an iPad, Solarwalk, an interactive galaxy is really good for showing how the planets work. My DS also loves the Usbourne See Inside your Body book.

CarolPrankster · 17/12/2013 19:12

Have downloaded Solar Walk onto my Hudl today, very enjoyable - DS loved the animation, I loved the info. Win, win

Iris445 · 19/12/2013 07:06

I think a g&t child is unusual. ( that's the best word I have found) they do talk early and with great complexity and huge vocab. Gifted children are different to their peers.
My dd was reading at 4 but I don't think it is that which particularly marked her out as different. She had a maturity and understanding well beyond her years. An ability to negotiate and reason well beyond her years. An insistence that everything is fair and just. The ability to make allowances for immature behaviour in their peers. A desire to play with older children as they play complex games. When they turn over the box of the jigsaw to make it more challenging. When they have memorized dozens of books word for word ( age 2) that you have only read once or twice. ( long books, hundreds of words) When they know all the regular journeys in the car ( age 2) and suggest alternative routes.

The questions oh yes the questions, the sort of questions that make you need google. Why is boxing day called boxing day? why can I only see half of the moon? Why don't the stArs move if the moon moves?

When you look at the KS1 goals and think god they can do all that ( age 4)

I would say lay off the "work" and do lots of play, get lots of Lego and construction toys. Toys that never become boring. Buy lots of books. Get them out to do physical stuff as much as you can.

It's lonely having a bright child, people get very jealous.

ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath · 22/12/2013 19:57

Iris, thank you for saying that last bit. It is lonely and I don't talk about it in RL to anyone other than close family as it is seen as boasting. DS is 2.10 and is most definitely g&t for want of a better term. He was tested by the HV at 30 months as a result of his 2 year check up.

He is exhausting, properly exhausting.

Kitty I have no idea or experience of older children with this but I am looking at school as a means of socialising rather than education whilst he is young. If your son is anything like mine then he needs to learn to get on with his peers and develop a sense of empathy and this is where schools are great. DS is very lucky as his nursery has a young trainee that is besotted with him and is helping him develop his reading skills but I don't expect them to provide anything other than fun and the opportunity for him to make friends! Whether your DS is g&t or not, he sounds fantastic.

monopoly123 · 26/12/2013 09:43

I have a sept born dd and she is also very inquisitive, bright, broad vocab. She's now in yr1 and in the words of her teacher "very bright & way ahead of her class" (no mention of G&T).. The school are great, in reception she was in a phonics group with 4xyr1s so she could work on a phase more appropriate to her. She was at the school nursery, so they started her on the reading scheme in the winter term - could that be an option for you?
She enjoys non-fiction books, we got a series called "I wonder why", which are good for inquisitive minds.
At home I don't do extra sit-down schoolwork with her but she'll play schools with her teddies. I try to encourage her to be more active, she is fairly sociable but for her to be more rounded its the sports that she's less keen on.

Att100 · 26/12/2013 17:44

"It's lonely having a bright child, people get very jealous."

Only if you boast about your child being somehow exceptional ...i think they resent it and may find it faintly ridiculous about a child so young just like these silly newspaper headline that compare a 4 year old's IQ joining Mensa to a true genius like Einstein....and I don't agree that early talker means "gifted"...some kids are just more chatty than others...some are introspective and turn out to excel academically compared to the early talkers...too many generalisations here. I know kids who were early talkers but not great readers and vice versa.

TheBakeryQueen · 27/12/2013 19:17

Sounds lovely & bright

TheBakeryQueen · 27/12/2013 19:45

My ds3 is bright, I wouldn't say it's lonely. Same as things you describe, questions aged 3 like 'how does your brain make your body move?', reading basic words at 3, large vocab. His preschool teacher thinks he is lovely, his report was glowing.

Att100 · 28/12/2013 15:19

anyway, if your kid is very bright...enjoy it but you don't need to go round telling everyone, because they will eventually remark on it to you anyway, ....parents, teachers, etc. especially when they start testing them at school and it manifests itself that way, and their peers start recognising each other's ability....if another parent tells me, oh I've heard your kid is really smart or is gifted, ...my response is always to downplay it ........if he does have the work ethic to fulfil his potential and achieves a lot in life, it will speak for itself ...it's usually the insecure types that need to boast about how gifted their children are or how they have a higher IQ than Einstein to others...very boring for others unless they are proud grandparents or something ......when they do actually go on and win a nobel prize, then go around compare then to Einstein but not before, imo....Again, not sure how it makes it lonely having a bright kid at all.

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