You okay, yoyo? You sound really down. You're not letting your children down I'm sure your're compensating for the school's shortcomings. But I know how you feel it just seems such a wasted opportunity to make education really work for the children.
Carolt, your dd sounds typical of what many of us have encountered. My dd is mercifully one of the youngest in her year, otherwise things would have been even worse. She too was reading proper books (Sophie, Enid Blyton, Mr Majeika) by the time she turned 5, while the school were handing out ORT Level 3 books. If the teacher isn't on board, you can take it higher up deputy head, head, governors. But you have to balance the likely usefulness of that against the fact that you will be seen as a pushy PITA in the end, if there's no will to cater for all abilities at school management and classteacher level, it just ain't gonna happen, despite all the hot air they may produce to the contrary. A lot of teachers really resent brighter kids, partly because it's extra work for them, and partly I think because they find it threatening to be questioned or challenged. The weaker the teacher the more likely this is to be a problem.
Sorry to sound so downbeat -- like yoyo I've had a gutful of it. For years our school's G&T provision consisted of occasionally taking small groups out once a week for a spelling test(!). Four weeks before the Ofsted inspection they set up a proper G&T programme (Y5 pupils doing bits of Shakespeare, maths projects on MC Escher, French lessons for all the juniors etc), and dd1 loved it. It was one of the few times I've seen her really excited and inspired by something she was doing at school. The week after the Ofsted inspection, they pulled it. That was the point at which we threw in the towel and stopped expecting anything.