Advice need g&t dd 14 school choice

[silverbangles66]

My dd is Y9, has been at same independent school since nursery, it's non selective.

She has been stretched by all the teachers as far as I can see, never complains of being bored, occasionally frustrated in non-streamed subjects but very patient and understanding of less able peers.

She is on an academic scholarship, had form prizes every year, loves sport, netball captain and enjoys drama and music performances.

So what's the problem? Am I failing her by not looking at a more rigorously academic school, which would need to be boarding?

I wanted both dcs to have stable consistent schooling unlike me (new country and new school every year, went to Durham but no work ethic), or DH (boarded from age 8, non academic family, feels resentful that nobody pushed him to go to uni)

Had a cconversation yesterday with friend who said 'if it was me I'd be...' and made me really worry that I haven't pushed her enough. Im not usually so wobbly, she must have touched a nerve.

Would any of you be looking at more selective academic options?

Thanks for reading!

Personally no. I think this is a really difficult age to change schools and friends. Like you, we have opted for the stable route. Dd is at a state school and some of my friends' kids are at selective independent schools. I know exactly what you mean about feeling you are not doing enough after talking to those parents! I can't say I never worry about it - but we have our own plan. In our case, we have other plans for the money we would spend on fees - and also, I am uneasy about the very academic local private school - I think it may go too far the other way and be too regimented and restrictive.

Sounds like she is doing well where she is and is very settled.

LittleRed, thank you so much! SO kind of you to reply. Stability ses a bit old fashioned sometimes, but I agree, it's a tough time to change. Re-reading I probably sound just as silly as the Hot Housers. I've been tossing and turning all night thinking I should gave stayed in London, all those missed opportunities... Now I'm looking at a blue sky by the sea thinking, what lucky kids I've got.

Did you have a disrupted education and us that why you chose stability?

Dh's education was very disrupted but mine wasn't. I still have friends from school (and I am er, not young) but dh doesn't. He felt it was very hard to keep making friends. Also, dd is an only child (as I was) so I feel that stability is especially important.

There's really no knowing if we've got it right or not. DH and I find all this stability rather stifling and claustrophobic ourselves!

Stability and happiness override EVERYTHING. Simples

You can stretch accademically at any age. You only have one childhood. If your daughter is happy then why spoil it?

I was forced to go on to VI form, I messed around, played truant, didn't achieve much. I was capable but just hated the place.