overexcitabilities

[mrsshears]

I would be really greatful for anyones advice or experiences in dealing with overexcitabilities in gifted children.
My dd seems to be getting more sensitive particulairly with noise and smells,dinner time at school and parties are also very difficult.
I'm hoping to discuss this at dd's assesment next week but would be really greatful to hear from anyone else who is dealing with this.

Hi mrsshears, My dd is very able and on g and t since primary and she is now 12. She hasn't displayed any of these quirkiness issues or anything else that some have posted about. She has always been quite sensitive but that is the only thing i can think of. She is just a quiet and well behaved girl even though she went through puberty early by the time she was 10 and some of her friends have started to get mouthy but dd hasn't. I can't really help you so sorry. Although looking again at your post, dd has always noticed smells and doesn't like certain smells and hates being dirty. Do you mean things like that? Apart from this there is nothing. x x

Both my kids found the dinner hall difficult. The school handled it really well. Dd was allowed to eat in her classroom (just off dinner hall,) for a week, then they had older buddies from ks2 sit with them for a couple of weeks. Dd also decided herself that she only wanted a sandwich in her pack lunch, (I think pack lunch is easier for them too, because no jostling in queues etc). This meant she didn't have to spend so long in the hall & as it was also her own idea she felt like she had a bit more control of the situation.

Dd is now in yr1 & has no problems at all. Ds (yr3) still finds noise a problem sometimes, but I've told him that he just needs to phase it out & think of other things, which seems to help. He also has a very low pain threshold, (but is starting to handle that better, at least in front of his peers,) at home he still cries more than I would expect an 8 year old.

You should also try & think about the positives of their sensitivities. Ds started showing true empathy for other kids from age 1 & dd is has a very sophisticated eye for beauty, she loves architecture & art & the natural world around her.

mrsshears - at a slight tangent, is your DD in school at the moment?

Yes she is in year 1 iamnotinterested

I meant have you taken her back in again after keeping her off on that day a couple of weeks ago?

She hasn't been off?

joyn dd struggles with lunchtimes too and the smell of the school hall and the dinners really puts her off eating her lunch and some days she can eat very little at luchtime,i'm not too sure how to get around it really without making dd stand out.
Noise can be a problem too but this is mainly out of school particulairly at parties,dd hates it when other children scream and shout and gets quite upset,other than comfort her i dont really know what to do, i feel the social aspect of parties is important for her si i'm not really keen on not sending her.

I'd definitely talk to the school about the dinner hall (I'd be surprised if they hadn't come it before,) & also dd if she has any ideas. Perhaps you could try giving her a big snack for playtime & something very quick for lunch, to minimise the time in there.

Tbh I haven't really had a problem with parties but maybe you should limit her exposure if she doesn't enjoy them at all. Perhaps she could just go to parties of very good friends (and if she needs to, leave early,) & arrange more 1-1 play dates so she's still getting social interaction, in a way she's comfortable with. With time she may start to enjoy them more.

has she had her ears checked? I definately hate screaming/squeaking plates as it causes pain in my ears and must at some point get round to having mine checked. (not agonising, just reallyunpleasant) there is often one child per class who has sensitivity to loud noise so it is not unusual. have no idea what causes it though.

Thanks everyone

dd has been referred for a hearing test susan hopefully that might shed some light on that.
I will bring it all up next week and see what advice they have for us.

We had similar issues with dd1 regarding noise, but hers is getting better with age. She is also in year 1. However, we now have it with dd2 who is also sensitive to materials on her skin.

Sounds very much like dd, at least in terms of the sound sensitivity. From the very start she always hated toddler groups because of the chaos and the noise, and would only join in at the end when most of the other children had gone. In her case, it seems to me most like an information overload - too much noise almost overwhelms her and her brain just shuts down.

Not sure I have dealt with it in any way, which might help you. it is better now, but I think that's more due to DD learning to cope rather than anything else. She is very good now at taking herself out of a situation which is getting too much and just wandering off to be quiet for a bit (apparently she also does this in school and fortunately the teacher is sympathetic about this).

I do agree about playdates though; we've done a bit of this and it doesn't only help socially, but she will now also disappear from a stressful noisy situation to play with a friend. Although it does help that her closest friend seems to have a very similar set of reactions.

This is an excellent book on Oe's and why gifted kids have them.

My ds has them all to a huge extent and it has been hard to deal with. I found it helped to learn why he had them.

www.amazon.com/Living-Intensity-Understanding-Sensitivity-Excitability/dp/0910707898

Mine is also in Year 1 and has always been petrified of electrical noises - the hoover, hairdryers, hand dryers etc and for months when she was 3 or 4 she cried every time she went to nursery - we later found out that she was scared of the fire alarm which used to go off occasionally. She also hates labels in clothes, or having anything round her waist or neck, which means she usually pulls her trousers down to her hips and won't wear polo necks, etc. She has got quite a lot better over the past year, and will now let me dry her hair. She no longer freaks out about the hoover, although she doesn't like it, but still won't use a hand drying machine. She has to wear a school tie, so is slowly overcoming the clothes thing.