Itchy 'bits'

[hellsbells4]

I had a bout of thrush about a month ago for the first time in about 20 years. The gp cleared it up with pessaries. But I'm currently suffering with a very itchy 'nether region'. it's not cystitis and not inside me - just the whole outer genital area. I've tried using canesten cream, sudocrem, diluted tea-tree oil and today i bought vagisil - but so far nothing has cured it. Any ideas what else I can try MNers????

ahh -you're prob right about the chopping and changing bit. I've tried each for only about a day or so and am getting very impatient that nothing has stopped it yet.

To make matters worse Dh and I are going through our worst patch ever (24th anniversary this month). I've never really been passionate about sex with him and NOW he's decided he's been missing out on hot, rampant sex and is keen to make amends - and part of me is bloody furious because I've been soooooooo frustrated by his complete lack of interest for years!!!!!!!! I have been trying to respond to his new hobby but it's really difficult. He doesn't mean to but he is just so clumsy and I try soooo hard to give him positive responses to what I want but he just doesn't 'get it'. He's discovered Tracey Cox's books - which are pretty good and detailed and i've learned a few interesting things but I still can't really relax and enjoy sex with dh cos I'm always slightly tense waiting for the unexpected fingernail scratch or elbow in the face or just when I'm on the point of coming he'll suddenly change what he's doing!! - even when I'm saying 'keep doing that!' AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!! Rant over!!! PHEW that feels better!!!

Aw poor Dh! Can't you just laugh together at the clumsiness? You're not audtioning for a porno after all!

Hellsbells, you sound quite distressed about your dh. I did try and get some other people to respond to you because I am not much use when it comes to advice, but I see no-one has responded. Have you considered sex counselling?

He does sound as though he is trying to be loving HB....

hellsbells4-fristly when it comes to the thrush, did your dh treat himselve to, as they can have it without habving any symptoms... so you won't get rid until he does to. If I get it then dh and I used to take the pill canistan duo you can get it over the counter but it is quite expensive.

I think you and dh need to sit and talk about the sex issue.... was there a reason behind him not wanting to do it for a while etc...
when you are doing it and you azare coming then can't you grab him soehow so that he can't stop what he is doing, I tend to do this with dh..

We also try to have alot of foreplay so we are both quite close to coming then when we do have sex we tend to come together..

hellbells - if you have constantly itchy bits it could be Lichen Sclerosis. Somebody else mentioned it on here a while ago and after googling I realised that it is what I have, but quite mildly. My GP didn't agree - but then she wasn't actually sure what LS was. She thought it was just eczema, and prescribed steroids, which would be the treatment for LS anyway. Do do a google and check out the symptoms - whilst it's not yet cureable, it is treatable

I came to listen hellsbells4 like you asked.

nothing to add though. agree you need to stick to one product for a while.

typical men's timing.

Canesten and other thrush creams can exascerbate the problem. I would go to a homeopath.

In case it is still thrush, take probiotics, cut out sugar and yeast and eat live yogurt.

You could also try a homespun method which worked brilliantly for my outrageous thrush when I was pg...
Peel garlic clove, 2-3 drops of tea tree oil in it, rub on affected area. (You can also put it in your fanny - or bum I guess - overnight if you thread some cotton through it for retrieval purposes).

God!....I can't believe some of the stuff we talk about. Isn't mumsnet fab for this kind of thing?I don't think I could talk to anyone but my mum and sister about this stuff.

You're right LM about trying the sex counselling bit but to be honest i'm not sure I can be bothered any more. It's all very well for him to discover sex now - but he didn't bother to do anything about it when I was climbing the walls with frustration and begging him to help find a solution to our problems.

Laughing off the clumsiness?? yes i've done that for 24 years! It would just be lovely to be able to 'give in' to a really erotic, passionate romp with him for once but I just can't have that kind of experience with dh. It took him years to pluck up the courage to use his fingers on me - and only recently has he realised that it's ok to look at my genitals! What hope is there!!!!
And kissing???? forget it - I still get offered the side of his face or an exaggerated leaning forward, no hands, pucker if I'm lucky!!

hellsbells- you are sounding really frustrated is there anyone in rl who you could talk to for any ideas. You can cat me if you like I will stay up a bit longer...if you want to chat, on here or msn.

Relate do sex counselling. I don't know what it's like but have considered it myself. It's a shot to nothing and it could really pay off.

I feel for you, I really do.

He IS trying to be loving - that's what makes me feel so rotten! I KNOW he does love me but boy is he hopeless at showing it. I've spent years and years plodding on with him, feeling unappreciated, unloved, sexless and bored and I just don't know if I want another 20 years of the same?
But he sure as hell doesn't deserve to be hurt - but whatever I do now I AM going to hurt him. If I leave he'd be DEVESTATED and utterly bewildered and if I stay I'm not sure I'm capable of continuing to 'laugh off' the clumsiness and insensitivity.

how about introducing some sex toys..... or watching some saucy films or porn...

He may just be embaressed about bringing stuf like that up and it may be what you both need.

Thanks too for all your fantastic pratical advice about itchiness - I particularly love the garlic clove idea. that should provoke some kind of response from dh??
Me: Hey dh - try shoving this clove of garlic up my fanny??
Dh: (flipping through tracey cox manual) eeeeewww she doesn't mention THAT in here!

RL friends/rellies to talk to - that would be NIL. His family only ever talk about latest cocktail parties, holidays etc. Mine are 12,000 miles away in Australia. Friends? - don't have any since we've been working together 24 hours a day running our pub for the past 11 years.

Soooooo - it's gotta be Relate doesn't it? Will ring tomorrow. Thanks for your help and sympathy MNers.

Goodnight HB and good luck.