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Could I have done some damage to myself?

136 replies

twoisplenty · 10/02/2010 08:24

I really really struggle to drink enough, even to the point of not drinking for upto 2 days (that was last week, no food or drink for 48 hrs) and not yesterday either (but ate thick soup). (recovering anorexic, please don't judge)

Today I have woken with mild, regular pains in my lower abdomen, with some pains in my arm.

What does long-term dehydration do? Could I have done some harm?

OP posts:
alypaly · 11/02/2010 09:09

if you dont eat or drink,you get ketoacidosis which is potentially quite dangerous. You must drink in order to keep all your electrolytes balanced,for nerve impulses and to stop lactic acid being stored in muscles.
If you dont like drinking,eat water melon or lettuce as they are 98% water

Buda · 11/02/2010 09:21

With all due respect alypaly - it is not as simple as that! OP recognises she has a problem and is addressing it.

MerlinsBeard · 11/02/2010 11:13

EDs are more than just not eating or drinking Alypaly

PixieOnaLeaf · 11/02/2010 14:17

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Message withdrawn

twoisplenty · 11/02/2010 15:14

Hi everyone. Thanks for the messages. I have taken a step backwards today. I think that "confessing" to the GP, and then talking to my dh about things (relationship stuff, but inevitably got onto me being "ill") has shook me up a bit.

I am on dried food today, well, 2 biscuits actually...but, I feel ok so far, and I will keep trying during the rest of today to think of something watery to have. Or maybe start again tomorrow. Not sure. But I get days like this so I am thinking that I shall just ride it out until I feel calmer. Feel quite upset really. And frustrated. I want to be ok, and to get on with life. This counselling takes so long.

Yesterday I emailed my counsellor to ask her if I could read any books on therapy stuff, to help me understand myself better. I am always trying to fast track through the process!

OP posts:
PotPourri · 11/02/2010 15:20

Try having a big 2L bottle of water next to the loo. Every time you go to the loo, force yourself to drink as much as you can- count to 5 while doing it. Bonus of the approach is that the more you drink, the more you need to go to the loo.

Hope the counselling helps, it's so frustrating for you. Dehydration can make you feel quite down, so getting hydrated will hopefully help you cope better too.

twoisplenty · 11/02/2010 15:34

I really wish I hadn't written that last post, it sounds like attention seeking behaviour. Ignore it, please. What I meant to say was, it isn't such a good day today, but tomorrow will be better.

Today isn't so good because my dd has come home early with a tummy bug. She is doing ok now, just watching tele. Poor lass.

OP posts:
PotPourri · 11/02/2010 15:39

Keep talking twoisplenty. It will help you. You don't need to apologise for what you said in your post. It will help you take the control that you need.

PixieOnaLeaf · 11/02/2010 15:52

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MerlinsBeard · 11/02/2010 18:27

Don't apologise for posting, it's hard to admit just how bad things are sometimes. I often find that it's easier to admit to things online, then the admitting in "out loud" isn't as hard.

(does that make sense )

twoisplenty · 11/02/2010 19:02

Absolutely MoM. I first posted on the Mental Health boards about 6 months ago now, saying that I was frightened to discuss anything related to the ed to my counsellor. The response was amazing, so encouraging, that I found it very helpful. Almost like the force of MN was gently pushing me to the counsellor's door, saying "come on, you can do it!!" I wouldn't have gone to the GP yesterday, in fact I almost left the surgery when the appointment was delayed, but I didn't feel I could let you all down! It really helps online, becausse I don't know anyone, so it's much easier to be honest.

It's those times when I am thinking about what I have written, that I get a bit panicky, thinking "what on earth am I doing? I am baring my soul to the world wide web!" But at least no-one knows me (I hope).

And it's good to talk, it helps lighten the load a lot. I am not alone in this.

I haven't seen a ED support thread on the MH boards - I have a suspicion (a complete guess) that MNHQ may have pulled it, perhaps it was getting a bit pro-ana as they say? I don't know.

OP posts:
Herecomesthesciencebint · 11/02/2010 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buda · 11/02/2010 23:11

Please don't feel sorry for posting or sorry that today was not a good day. We all have bad days and I think that yesterday was a fab day for you. Itmay not have felt like it but you achieved so much by going to the doctor.

And keep on posting here. It is as anonymous as you want it to be which sounds like it is helping you.

Hope your dd is better and thar tomorrow is better for you.

twoisplenty · 11/02/2010 23:21

Herecomes - no specific ED therapy, and the GP didn't suggest anything. I may ask about it next week. I shall definitely ask my counsellor about it too, I am tired of it. And I have a feeling this counselling has got a long way to go yet, so I need to feel that I can get better, I am hating it. To get to the point where I am trying to force fluid in is just horrible. I am currently trying a hot drink, thinking that I won't feel it going down quite as much as a cold drink, but it is so hard, panicking and hating the feeling in my tummy. Wanting to get rid of it. Hating this.

My dh talked with me last night about relationship stuff, and he is finding the ed stressful, he is so worried about me. I don't want him to worry. I want a good relationship, and I am ruining it.

Buda, thanks, it really took it out of my going to the doctor, but at the same time, because he was so good and calm, it did help me to realise that I did the right thing.

My dd is much better, thanks, she was fine at home after an hour or two, and running round the house! She was only sick at school, not at home, so that's handy!

OP posts:
alypaly · 11/02/2010 23:36

Buda and mum ,i do realise eating disorders are more complicated then that,but i was just answering the OP's original question which wasover 48 hours.

I am not qualified to help with eating disorders but was trying to help with the short term problems that can start quite quickly with low fluid intake.

MerlinsBeard · 12/02/2010 02:14

In that case I am sorry alypaly. I read your post completely wrong!

I don't think the ED thread went proana TIP. I am pro ana (well pro choice but personally pro ana) it prob was in chat so dropped off.

Buda · 12/02/2010 08:27

Same here alypaly - I thought you had just replied to initial post and hadn't taken on board that it was not as easy as say that OP needed to drink. Sorry!

twoisplenty · 12/02/2010 08:44

Feeling much more positive today, thank goodness. Bad night's sleep, but last night I thought really hard how to get around the drink thing. I realised that I like warm food, hence the soup, so I shall avoid cold food and drink, and stick to hot things. I can't feel it so much when it's hot.

I also remembered a few things.

When I was about 14yrs old, my mum told me I was too thin and she wanted to "fatten me up", so she told me she was going to buy 1 pint of Guernsey full fat milk every day, "it's expensive you know, so I'm doing it for your own good". She watched over me every day drinking it. It was cold, creamy, and I felt every bit of it going down in to my tummy, where it sat there for hours. REally horrible.

Another one. I didn't like taking medicine, so she used to pin me down on the floor, hold my nose and force the liquid in.

Finally, when I was a baby being weaned, my mum told me that I would turn my face away, and clamp my mouth shut when being presented with the first mouthful of food. Once the first spoonful was in my mouth I would relax and eat. THis is was my mum told me, but I don't know how she got the first spoonful in. That would be interesting to know.

There are other things, such as getting a bit wheezy (in an asthma sort of way) when being presented with a new food to try. I was frightened of not liking the taste or texture. I really didn't trust food.

That says a lot to me. I shall definitely be talking to the counsellor about it all. Very interesting!

Thanks alypaly for your info on dehydration. What does ketoacidosis do to the body if there's too much around? Ta

OP posts:
Buda · 12/02/2010 09:03

Hi here. Glad you are feeling more positive.

Your mum seems to have a lot to answer to!!!

alypaly · 12/02/2010 13:16

Thanks for the apology ,i thought i was being misconstrued.thats ok.wish i could help twoisplenty with the ED

BalloonSlayer · 12/02/2010 13:33

twoisplenty, I was thinking of you today when giving my 2.5 year old his pudding - he still has 4 month baby food for pudding( - well he likes it and it's fruit and not chocolate). I wondered if you would like it; it's quite watery, tastes yummy and can be nicely warmed up. Not cheap though! Hope you don't think this is a patronising suggestion - I would cheerfully eat them myself in similar circumstances.

Buda · 12/02/2010 14:21

That is a good idea BalloonSlayer. DH used to wonder why i kept buying the apricot one even though DS was too big for them!!! I love them!

I also still buy them sometimes to mix in with my porridge. Apple and blueberry is nice!

Eurostar · 12/02/2010 14:54

I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if repeating.

Cramping etc. are common when body is lacking essential salts. If you can't manage much could you manage some rehydration fluid such as dioralyte? You can get it over the counter at chemists. I'm not sure if it is still as effective if drunk with warm water but perhaps doctor could tell you that.

For the trauma you are describing when being forced to drink it could be worth trying to find a therapist who practices EDMR (it is sanctioned by NHS).

Do make sure your counsellor knows how badly your symptoms have returned. It sounds worrying that you are being taken back to re-live your past and not given tools to deal with it. It is a counsellor who specialises in eating disorders and past traumas?

Eurostar · 12/02/2010 15:01

Saw you asked about books. Friend of mine was recommended "overcoming anorexia nervosa" by a Dr Freeman. She found it useful in conjunction with CBT therapy.

Herecomesthesciencebint · 12/02/2010 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.