this will be fun....diagnose me...gwan

[Tortington]

every time i cough, i feel like someone shoots me in the side of my belly - like a hot poker is being driven through my stomach

this has to be more than a pulled muscle

so am i going to DIE?

you have seriously strained the internal part of your bit that hurts and will have to have it removed at your earliest convienience. you may or may not die it is difficult to say

i like the first bit better - it sounds more serious

Have you seen Alien?

couldn't thionk of a single big word

saw dh - does that count

Does dh look like John Hurt?

not really

but he is named after a reaaly famous acid bath killer.

perhaps you have cough-induced gall stones?

When you cough, do you wee a little bit, go purple and make a noise like Father Jack? If you do you have got The Same Thing as Me.

You have pulled your intercostal muscle and need immediate bed rest and pampering for the next 10 days.

hernia as in hiatus

i think indigosky has it spot on!

i don't want to worry you but my cousin's, girlfriend's briother's friend had just the very same thing.

ended up having to have 3 ribs removed and was seriously ill for a long time. has only just started drinking again.

also do you think it is possibly you could be pregnant?

ive had all my ribs removed already. I can't be prgnant becuase i am really.....A MAN!

It's your intercostal muscles. You can remove them yourself with the turkey baster and carving knife. If you bleed a lot, just rub some glitter in and try and think of it as festive.

hmmmm i can see how that would work ty

really?

just googled it - and although it could be true it doesn't sound like it - i might go see a doctor now though

Ooooh sorry, ignore my silly flippant post earlier, hope you are OK.