TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

OMG it worked!

Highly impressed by techie skills!

All this talk of exercise (which I started, admittedly) is starting to make me feel ill! I went swimming yesterday and did 46 lengths pretty quick (it is a small pool so don't be impressed) but then all of a sudden the idea of a 47th made me feel a bit sick. So I went home and ate choccie biccies...

at Cakes !!

How on earth do you send a post from a WII? And do you have to do it while balancing on the ski jump?!

I was quite chuffed when I worked out my WII age at a friend's house (we don't have a WII). It came out as 56 which is one year older than I am. My son (age 16 and v fit) came out as 30 so I thought mine was great!

We don't have a Wii either, and I would not DREAM of working out my Wii age: I am certain it would be very depressing.

Luckily dd does not follow my example - loves exercise in all its forms so she may well be lissome and gorgeous for ever.

She saw a wonderful news item on Newsround today - apparently a family took their dog to a rescue home because it was deaf: the charity did some tests and thought it was deaf too. God knows how they founnd this out, but it turned out the dog was not deaf, it was Polish.

Arf!

sandripples - forgive me but the 'pooter is running slow and I can't find your surgery date - I know it is early next week, but which day? Just want to make sure I send some positive vibes on the right day....

is it the 19th ?

I think it is. But wasn't sure if it was the 18th and didn't want to miss a chance to say we were thinking of her.

Also - Pennies - if you are about, are you OK? Haven't heard anything since your tests and I was just wondering. let us know if you are OK.

Hi. I liked the story about the Polish dog!

My op is on 19th. My friends has gone home this afternoon. I've just had a little snooze and I suspect I'll start feeling apprehensive agin fairly soon but am still OK for now! (Did binge on 3 pieces of cake today though - shame after being so healthy for a couple of days!)

I am also wondering about Pennies.

Hello - I'm here! CT scans all clear. OMG the relief! Bone scans results not in yet but her said that what they could see of the bones was looking good.

Went out celebrating with DH and best friend last night and kept annoying them by asking "How's your liver? Mine's in perfect nick. And my lungs... such fine specimens" etc until they were ready to punch me.

Not long now sandripples - the op's not too bad - its wonderful to feel that something is being done.

Pennies, I'm so pleased for you with this wonderful news! Does that mean you still have to have mastectomy and chemo but can feel confident about lack of spread? Sorry but I've lost track of how far you've got.

I slep badly last night - prob due to my afternoon nap. So I think I need to get some exercise as I do feel calmer after I've had a swim or a walk. Can't do either today so will go to the gym (for the 1st time in about a year!)

Its this waiting which is so tiresome. I have kept myself v well occupied but its an effort even so. People have been wonderful though- I have just received a beautiful and enormaous bunch of flowers from friends at work - such a large parcel from Next I thought it must be some sort of flat=-pack at first!!

And my SIL has sent me a ferret!! This is actually a furry thing you put on the seat belt and she has found this very comfortable (she had an op c 3 years ago so speaks from experience)

excellent news Pennies! hooray
Hang in there sandripples -the waiting is horrid but it'll soon be done - thinking of you lots. How lovely about the flowers and the ferret !!

Pennies, so pleased to hear your news, will your treatment programme change or are you still scheduled for mastectomy?- if you are and have any questions, please feel free to ask away. It is good to feel you are moving forward. When I had my CT scan, they found something on my liver that needed further investigation with ultrasound. It turned out to be a fatty deposit ( oh the shame, but I remember at the time telling people quite proudly - its fat, just fat)

Sand, the waiting is horrible, but you are nearly there now, I found going for a walk everyday helped me when I was at the waiting stage, and your flowers sound lovely. Knowing you've got the support of friends makes such a difference. I'll be thinking of you on Tues.

Treatment plan remains the same - no escaping the mastectomy I'm afraid as they found something that could be a satellite tumour when they did the lumpectomy. Grrr. I'm resigned to it and TBH I would prefer to have a full mastectomy to reduce the risk but they don't want to do that.

My BF is a nurse and she diagnosed me a shaving developed a new problem though, which she believes is Acute Organ Smugness. Apparently I'm not allowed to mention my pristine insides again. So much for sharing my joy, eh.

Just told the children about it in very simple terms. I've said that I'm poorly and that I will need some medicine that I will have to take until it's the summer holidays and that it will make me feel a bit tired, poorly and grumpy on some days. They told me earnestly to eat up nall my chicken casserole and vegetables and drink water. Pretty sage advice from 4 & 5 years olds really. Then they went off and played with Mini Mouse. We'll talk to them about surgery as and when that happens I think. DH and I have agreed on a strategy of simple honesty with them to avoid either of us contradicting each other and confusing them. Such a shame because the parental urge is to protect one's children from the bad stuff, but the advice we've sought seems to show that it's the right approach to be open about it.

Sandripples - sleepless nights are horrible aren't they. Have you got anything to help you if you get any more? I got some diazepam from the GP but have only taken 3 since I was first diagnosed but on other occasions I take Nytol Herbal which has really helped and doesn't make you feel groggy the next day.

Wearing my first wig today. A bit previous I know, but it's in preparation for a fancy dress party tonight. DH and I are going as pirates fighting spirit and all that, plus DH thinks he's going to be a dead ringer for Captain Jack Sparrow)!

Thanks for the support and tips everyone. I've tried white tea today and really liked it.

Haven't been able to look for that Dior perfume yet though. Will look out for Nytol, although Pennies I've mostly been able to sleep simply by reducing caffeine and going for a lot of walks. I tend to wake early and usually get up so that I don't start thinking too much.

Today DH and I have been for a walk in a NT estate nearby. It was great being able to walk without worrying about slipping and I'm sure I walked at double the speed as compared to recent few weeks. Fed the ducks who were extremely hungry!

I am very struck by this point that exercise and not being overwieght reduce risk of cancer/recurrence. Have made up for yesterday;s 3 pieces of cake by being very good today and onl;y had decaf tea and hanlf an orange in the NT cafe!

In my pre-cancer days I always thought about healthy eating and exercise in relation to strokes not cancer. This is cos my mother and grandmother both had strokes. Also I was not aware of the associations. I do eat healthily (eg not much meat as everyone in family except me is veggie) but too much! I am hoping that my recent health experience will finally give me the motivation to lose some weight and think much more carefully about the food choices I make. But I guess the treatment plan will have to be factored in as well.

Good morning! I have been for a swim and am having a white tea - just thought I'd show off! Actually its to keep my nerves at bay as we approach 19th.
Anyone doing anything interesting today?

Goodness SR, well done! I am sitting dopily on the side of my bed drinking a cuppa. Thinking what shall I do today? - I'll let you know if it turns out to be interesting, but I suspect it will be grocery shopping! May also have a bit of a cycle.

Have I missed a discussion about white tea? I had never heard of it, just looked it up and it sounds good. How does it taste? I've tried green tea, but wasn't too keen on that (although I only tried one brand, so am thinking of trying others.)

I am definitely going swimming tomorrow, (its quieter in the week, just me and a few other old folks mowing slowly up and down the pool )

well done SR - impressive !! I quite like white tea -but my favourite is green tea which I drink about twice a day - my son is mad for it and experiments with weird things like Japanese twig tea. All I seem to have done to day is washing up, 2 lots of laundry and have painted a few picture frames for the latest pictures I'm doing...

Hi. I am only trying white tea becuase a friend of my DH had some he bought in CHina and he didn't like it. I love it as it is not at all bitter. I prefer it to green tea in fact. Not sure where to buy it here but will investigate.

I saw a discussion on white and green tea on a different thread on MN so you might be interested to look.

Did anyone liusten to Jeni Murray today on R4? She dealt with it all well I thought, but not sure how you'd feel if you'd had, or was facing a Mastectomy. She drew the distiniction between technical surgery and the human side all v well.

What sort of pictures do you do MAS?

DH and I have bought 2 frames today as a kind neighbour who came for a chat last w/e discovered he and DH both from same town so led to long nostalgic discussion of said town, then the neighbour has brought some posters as a gift today - dating from 1892, they are posters for 'variety shows' at the theatre which was later destroyed but DH and neighbour seem to remebr it from their boyhood.

The posters are long thin shape and do brighten up our hall quite well. (Had it decorated last year and hadn't got round to hanging up much ever since. We have various pictures hanging about on the floor in odd places, eg ones my father did.)

SR I just listened to the Jeni Murray programme, someone mentioned it on another thread and provided a link to i-player. I said on that thread, it was hard to listen to, but I'm glad I did although I did shed a few tears at one point.
I think Jeni Murray did a really good job on it, but I'm not sure I could have listened to it before my mastectomy. Mind you I haven't had reconstruction, so maybe I feel differently.

I did go for a cycle ride today, with DH, we went to the river and watched the swans. There is a parent and two big cygnets. I think something must have happened to the other parent, because I thought they stayed in pairs. But they were having a good preen and rolling over in the water. V. entertaining.

I got a bit breathless on the way home, think the chest inf. has affected me a bit. But it was a nice little excursion!

KurriKurri - can you say why you wouldn't listen to it before a mastectomy (surely there's a shorter word for it? MSTY maybe?). I tuned in to R4 at 11ish as per below whilst driving and had to listen to the Archers for the first time in about 15 years instead so I missed it. Maybe that was a good thing?

Today I went for a masterclass in cake icing given by Mich Turner (the lady who does all the cakes with Kirsty-Laadidaa-Posh-Bird-/-Location-Location-Lady on her Homemade Homes show, and who also made Madonna's wedding cake etc). It was just lovely to really concentrate on something that give me such pleasure for the day.

Pennies - sorry I think I misled you a couple of days ago as I thought the JM prog was at 11ish but in fact it was 1330.

I think it was (in a radio sort of way) rather graphic, or perhaps just very matter of fact about what JM was actually watching as the op progressed. So from that angle it might not be what you'd want to hear at present.

JM did not get upset as she found herself fascinated and absorbed by the operation; its just a very detailed description of the process. So I suppose it depends on whether you feel you'd wish to listen at present.

If I were facing a MX - well I'm honestly not sure if I would have listened or not. Its a v personal decision. Sorry that's not very helpful. With facing lumpectomy on Tuesday- it didn't worry me- but I'm sure that's different.

Glad you both had a good day.

I might get DH to listen to it - he is far more factual than me and seems to want to know more about stuff than me too.

Is it possible to record Listen Again stuff from the BBC website. I would like to put it onto the computer so I can listen to it when we're a bit more ready for it.

Pennies, I think because before I had my mastectomy, I was very emotional about everything, and when I was at that stage, I sort of didn't want to know that much. Sorry I don't think I've explained that terribly well.

I would get your DH to listen.Then he can judge whether you would find it helpful at the moment. Mine likes to find out everything he can. Which is fine, but I've told him I may not always want to hear it.

It described the operation as it took place. But it was very sensitively done, as Jeni Murray has been through the same operation. It did highlight the dedication and skill of the surgeons. I found it moving and emotional, but not an easy listen.

I hope I didn't post too hastily earlier, the last thing on earth I would want to do is worry you in any way about your operation. Personally I found the physical things - surgery etc. easier to deal with than the 'having cancer' thing. In fact the surgery made me feel as if I was moving forwards.

As I've said before if there's any specific questions I can help you with just let me know.