cant work out how to namechange oh well i had do do something really horrid thismorning.........

[AwayWithTheFaries]

and i really hope im not the only one who has had to do this
i was on the toilet and VERY constipated.....

god, I never even realised this was a problem

something else I have too worry about

I remember when I was pg, getting 'stuck' in the work toilet cubicle for bloody ages.

I ended up running on the spot to try and get things moving. Thank god no one asked me where I'd been for the past half hour when I eventually got back to my desk.

Post DC1, I was in the hospital loo for 2 1/2 hours, having left newborn baby (1 day old) in the cot by the bed. Stuck well and truly. Had to pull emergency cord and was manually sorted by a nurse - urrrggh TMI!!! But boy, the relief!!!

DD had to be manually evacuated, after she got one stuck half way out, when she was about seven months old.

It was done by a young male doctor with huge hands who was obviously nervous around children. NOT a good experience for either of us, especially poor DD.

I am in tears with laughter here. Sorry guys- I know how naff it is, had the same thing happen in Greece 2 years ago. Was on the loo for 2 hours puffing and panting like I was giving birth. DH was in bits laughing which didnt help. He got me a coffee and a fag and that shifted it.

The thought of someone driving through town with a log half out of their bum is really tickling me....

thank you all im glad im not alone! and you have made me laugh too!!
gp has suggested fibergel

BTW, I smoked the fag- didnt shove it anywhere. I'm not a smoker by habit, only socially and they always make me need a poo. Was the only thing I could think of.

Oh it's all coming out now... (so to speak)

Fibregel WILL NOT clear it - trust me!!! All it does is help soften, v v gently. If you need a bit more help, lactulose is your main thing - plus of course orange juice, prune juice etc. A fag always used to sort me out too - but gave up in May!!

Glad its not just me!!

I have given up and so has DH- but when we go away in August we always buy a pack of 20 and smoke half/a whole fag with a cup of tea on the balcony after a night out. I usually end up running for the loo before I've finished my cuppa.

Strong perfume makes me go too. One whiff of youth dew and I have to run. Strange but true.

CJCregg - why oh why didnt dh take ds to the hospital so you could finish your business? How did you manage to get out of the car and into the hospital? Did it fall out?!!!!!!

I'm sure you can buy lactulose over the counter in the chemist. And pelvic floors to strengthen the area which can be a bit slack after childbirth will help enormously.

A bit of pressure on the perineum will often do the trick after childbirth when things are a bit difficult. No need to reach for the spoons just yet...

yes you dont need a prsecription for lactulose

well my dd is 6 and i still always have to press on my perineum with loo roll to do a poo. gross. i guess i should face the gp but i'd rather press than ever have a bottom op.and yes i do lots of pelvic floors.

Prune Juice all the wayyyyy.

Superb stuff when your a bit stuck.

OMG

Things I never knew about having children no. 238.

I know someone who has a teeny tiny pace-maker in her bottom. Remote controlled too!

JAMM - what??? I'm sorry but MORE info needed here!

Glycerin suppositories are apparently the way to go.

Never tried them myself but my dad swears by them after being bunged up for days after an op.

Only took 10 minutes to work, so he likes to tell us all

eat half a pineapple...its the best natural laxative ever. i love it and ate half....1 hour later i thought id caught a bug...then i looked it up on the internet and voila....the best natural bowel irritant !!!!!! try it if you are bunged up....its nice too

Well if you're sitting comfortably, I'll begin...

The lady in question had an extremely large baby and was left untreated for rectal tearing and all sorts of horrific injuries quite a few years ago.

She has suffered from some terrible symptoms, including incontinence and the kinds of problems described above.

She has been in and out of hospital over the last 20 years having sugery to repair the damage and recently had a pace-maker fitted.

The pace-maker is used to tighten things up or relax things if my friend feels she needs it. It works by sending an electrical pulse which mimics the electrical pulse used to trigger the muscles. That is done with the remote control.

OMG!! How bizarre and that poor poor lady - but hey, at least there was something they could do for her - perhaps just 20 years too late!

And we still haven't found out what the OP had to do this morning!!!

She thinks it's fab. She does have to be careful when watching the Eastenders that it's the TV volume she's adjusting and not anything else..!