I cant seem to pull myself out of these baby blues!!

[insertwittynicknameHERE]

Not sure if this is the right topic for this.

DD2 will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. I started feeling quite down and tearful about 2 weeks after giving birth, with DD1 the 'baby blues' came pretty much immediately, so I figured that I was lucky not to get them with DD2.

Until about 4 weeks ago when I started feeling so sad, crying all the time (I don't even know why I cry) I cant seem to get my head around the most basic of tasks. I feel confused, but mostly just so so sad. Which is ironic as I have so much to feel happy about.

DD2 is a dream, we have had problems with BF but things are getting better and easier.

I thought it would only last a couple of weeks but I still feel like this. I have good days, very good days then awful days when I feel so wretched.

On my bad days I think constantly of ending it, but couldn't bear to leave my girls, then I feel guilty for thinking like that and for feeling the way I do.

I don't know where to go from here. I cant talk to DH as he doesn't deal well with things like this, mum and dad have too much on, my best friend is busy with her own family and her 3 little girls. My GP is okay but I don't feel comfortable with her TBH.

Even if you don't feel comfortable with your GP, how about telling her how you're feeling? It's hard to find the perfect doctor; maybe good enough would work? You never know, your GP might be really good for this particular problem, while just soso at everything you've seen her for up to now.

Thank you, I know I will have to speak to someone sooner or later. I don't know what is happening with me, my head feels fuzzy.

I just want to hide away from the world. It's all I can do to get out of bed in the mornings.

I'm feeling really bad today. I've just snapped at DD1 and now feel like the worlds worst mum. They would be so much better off without me in there lives

Hi, I too had a very easy DC2 but it didnt stop me feeling desperately miserable. I spoke to the health visitors in my area. There is a drop in baby-weigh clinic and you can speak to a health visitor while you are there. Do you have a similar facility?

Please see someone. You are not the worlds worst mum. We all snap at our DC from time to time. My beloved and very patientDC1 had to put up with a tearful Mummy after her little brother was born. She was fine and so was I once I got myself better.

sending you hugs and please talk to someone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

If I had a penny for all the snapping and the mornings it was all I could do to get out of the bed... Thinking of you, and how much you want to be better. Just pick up the phone, and dial, then talk. There is help available just for the asking. {smile] It makes all the difference. You will feel like 'you' again.

Looking at the title of your OP, you sometimes can't pull yourself out. It's not a question of mind over matter and determination. Go ahead and ask for the care you need.

InsertwittynicknameHERE How are things?

bump

Awful TBH. DD1 is poorly with tonsillitis and can't sleep very well bless her so I am very tired and I think the lack of sleep is just compounding how I feel at the minute.

Thank you for thinking of me.

My HV is coming round to do DD2's 6 week check tomorrow so I may try speak to her. Just not sure how to start the conversation though.

Hi there,

You poor thing, I know what this feels like! If you are lucky, your HV will also ask how you are doing. If she doesn't, then something like "I wondered if I could talk about how I'm coping" or something might start the conversation.

Please be honest with her! She might well get you to do a questionnaire called the "Edinburgh Scale" or something similar. You can see it here. Its used to diagnose Postnatal Depression, which you might or might not have - though it does sound like you might have it mildly at least. There's loads of help out there, so please get some, and do come back and tell us how you get on!

Thank you. That link is really very good.

Thinking of you and your DD1. This is exactly the situation HVs are here for -- just take a deep breath and go for it.

How was the HV visit? How are you today?

HV not coming till next Tuesday, I marked it wrong on the calendar!!

Feeling a bit numb right now to be honest. I was thinking of giving her a call instead of waiting for next week. I just know that as soon as I start trying to talk to her I'll end up in tears, so I need to get myself sort of psyched up for it.

There's nothing wrong with tears . She's not going to be cross, really. No need to psych up or feel you're letting anyone down, or that you need to put on some sort of happy face. I would pick up that phone, even if you end up leaving a message. You could try the GP either? Be kind to yourself. xxxx

How are you doing today? How's your DD's tonsillitis?

.

DD is back in full swing now lol

I am feeling tired, but ironically not sleeping. Not had chance to ring my HV yet so will probably wait until Tuesday when she is due round here anyway.

Thank you for thinking of me and asking about DD

So glad your DD is over it. Lack of sleep even when you're tired is so rough, isn't it. Maybe if you called the HV and left a message she'd be up to speed about things when she arrives on Tuesday? (Save you the bother of starting from scratch when she comes) She probably gets calls on the weekends regularly... Keep on posting

Hi there, how was your weekend?

.

HV has just gone, she did the Edinburgh score with me and I scored 20, she said I need to mention it to my GP when I go for my post natal check up.

I am feeling okay thanks, just a bit down TBH.

That's great, so glad you were able to talk to her . Is your check up any time soon or would you consider calling and getting an appointment 'just' for this?

I am at the GP's for my post natal and DD2's 8 week check on Monday so I think unless I begin to feel really bad then I will wait until then.