Which swine flu special measure should receive the panic in the face of adversity award? Post your favourite bizarre swine flu practices here!

[BoffinMum]

OK, so we've had:

Remove soft toys from nurseries
Stop children sharing pencils
Close all schools
Take over the BBC and put out educational programming all day

and my favourite from my own workplace of approximately 10,000 people ...

stop all recycling of everything in case someone throws a tissue in the bin

What bizarre and surprising swine flu measures are you encountering?

I suspect there weren't any objections from actual Muslims and the DM just put their own slant on it.

We need to go around like this

Arranging to buy millions of pounds of swine flu vaccine at six quid a shot.

millions of doses gosh darn it

My mother's church is still giving communion wine out of a shared chalice, but has put notices in the newsletter advising parishioners not to be offended if people refuse to shake their hand at the Sign of Peace.

Portandlemon, maybe the church should go with the swine flu A-boards that whomovedmychocolate suggested?????

If nurseries close, and parents have to organise alternative childcare at great expense, will they get their money back?

I think we should all have A boards outside our house - postmodern Facebook irony with our oinky status:

Code blue: not at all oinky, eating bacon sandwiches
Code green: a little bit sick, probably a cold, may tell you too fuck off if you knock and wake us up
Code red: Snort, oink, snuffle snuffle, squeal
Code Black: we have actually become our bacon sandwiches

Not forgetting of course:

Code pink - we are loving the celebratory status of having swine flu, complaining madly on Mumsnet when actually we've just got quite a bad cold and/or don't want to attend the hell that is the 'summer holiday trip to the theme park', vomiting because we are taking Tamiflu but have still only got a slight cold and talking up our 'misery' a la Peter Andre.

Most horrendous swine flue reaction deserving of an idiocy award?
Story from People
The "mum" who had an abortion at 18 weeks cause she was worried she might get swine flu.

I hope the story is made up because if not she is absolutely insane.

That is a sick story lucky - I cannot honestly believe anyone would abort a baby 'just in case' she got swine flu!
What a pile of ordure!

Have you seen this

If that woman did get an abortion I suspect it was because of the possible effect of continuing on her mental health. Sounds like she was in the grip of severe anxiety and obsession tbh. If it wasn't swine flu it may well have been something else.

On discovering that three members of staff had SF District Council promptly issued everyone with screen wipes. Friend who works for said council caused some consternation by asking whether the packaging had been disinfected and if so, who had disinfected the disinfectant.

Screen wipes - surely keyboard/mouse wipes would have made much more sense Pikelet

There is something v odd about that story - especially the part abotu how she's had an affair with a member of the boyband, Blue. I mean, que?

slyandgobbo - I just googled her and she's a serial kiss and tell glamour model.

this is her

I'm really hoping that she's making it up, otherwise it's just horribly sad.

I do remember when SF first came to Britain, all the celebs claiming they were being tested for it Sickos in every sense of the word.

That's a good one, Pikelit.