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Original poster

Continued support for SPHINCTER INJURIES, FISTULAE and other CHILDBIRTH INJURIES - the Ragged Bits Thread

952 replies

Jacksmama · 22/06/2009 20:12

Hi all,
old thread here.

Cyee started this thread in May 2008 after her op, and it's been a haven of support for so many of us who have injuries to our bits from childbirth. Especially with respect to sphincter injuries, fistulae and incontinence after childbirth, there seems to be such a lack of support for women, and the entire subject seems to be taboo. It's as if most MD's think that "a certain amount of damage is to be expected after birth and you just have to live with it". Well, that is simply not the case - and this attitude is unacceptable.

There are all kinds of Ragged Bits stories on this thread. Be aware that THERE IS NO "TMI" HERE - this is the one place where you can spill it all. If you read through the old thread, which is nearly full, you'll see that someone, somewhere, has probably experienced it - whatever it is! So don't be embarrassed or ashamed... we'll tell our poo stories if you'll tell yours.

And also - there are success stories here. Several of us who have been through the medical mill have been successfully "repaired" and are "fully functional", so to speak or even expecting again. In those cases, please join us for Pervwatch - the "after action" report for anyone who is once again venturing into marital relations!

Welcome everyone. We're sorry you had to find us, but we're glad you're here.

OP posts:
Original poster
Jacksmama · 25/09/2009 02:42

Hulla, what you said about seeming distant to your DH and shying away from cuddles sounds very familiar. I was like that too with my DH . In my case, it was because I felt like he failed me utterly during Jackbaby's birth. Really, so did everyone who was there, but I blamed him the most.
We finally talked about this and it's all good now. But also - I got all the cuddling and loving I needed from Jackbaby. He was hardly ever out of my arms, so in a sense (I know this sounds warped) I didn't need any other cuddles and poor DH got shortchanged. That's better now, too.

I don't know if that helps any...?

Also just wanted to say, bubblejet, I really don't think that reading the thread and not always posting is "take take take". I bet there are areas in your life where you give much more than you take, so to speak, so it all balances out.

OP posts:
kentmumtj · 27/09/2009 17:18

hi guys just wanted to say am reading all your posts and am thinking of each and every one of you.

i missed my appointment as they changed it to the day earlier and i go the letter the day after my original appointment ..........idiot hosptials guess i will have to wait another 6 weeks now grrrr

Original poster
Jacksmama · 27/09/2009 19:22

[crap] emoticon kentmum

OP posts:
ThingOne · 27/09/2009 20:18

That is crap. I will stamp my still petulant foot for you.

Original poster
Jacksmama · 27/09/2009 20:32

How are you, ThingOne?
Do you still need the bar or can we have it back for the Tea Room thread?

OP posts:
ThingOne · 28/09/2009 10:47

I think if you have a look you'll find there's not a lot to hand back.

Original poster
Jacksmama · 28/09/2009 15:35
Grin
OP posts:
ThingOne · 29/09/2009 13:52

hic

Original poster
Jacksmama · 29/09/2009 14:21

What's up? Has your op been scheduled?

OP posts:
ThingOne · 29/09/2009 14:42

No. I should get a date when I see the new plastic surgeon next Thursday. But I'm just fed up, you know. It's all so horrible, isn't it? And stuff I can't say even on an anonymous forum just gets me down.

Fitness plan going well, though, even if diet and mood are not . I keep telling myself that if I just didn't have that glass of wine I'd be another 200 cals down on the day. Or if I didn't have that bowl of (dry) fake cheerios (non-Nestle, naturally) that too would be another 100-200 cals off. And that's all it would need to be. Just find it hard to be constantly upbeat, coping and dieting all in one go.

Original poster
Jacksmama · 29/09/2009 15:59

CAT me if you need an ear or a shoulder to cry on.

(((HUG)))

OP posts:
ThingOne · 29/09/2009 18:40

Do you do calorie free chocolate?

Original poster
Jacksmama · 29/09/2009 19:34

On the Ragged Bits thread, EVERYTHING is calorie-free.

OP posts:
Cyee · 05/10/2009 12:37

Ladies - I have been regularly reading the thread but have initially refused to post unless I could refer properly to all the messages and messagers on here... That clearly hasn't happened, so posting to say I'm still here and (hugs) to all of you that are having ops, hot having ops, marital relations (or lack of/dissatisfaction about), having (and not having) appointments, considering counselling, and generally feeling crap because... guess what... it's a crap situation

Things with me are ok - struggling with groin pain... for ALL THE WRONG REASONS I hasten to add Oh and my digestive system backs up when I'm pg so then when all gets going I very much appreciate my (now) sensitive rear end requiring urgent attention. Not.

So please stock the bar with non-alco drinks other than my occasional tipple which I will have here with a fantastic bunch of ladies who don't deserve the utterly shit hand we've been dealt.

Jacksmamwahahaha · 05/10/2009 16:20

Awww Cyee. Hug and some lovely cranberry lemonade for you.

ThingOne · 05/10/2009 18:32

And a mwahahahaha from me.

Still thinking of a good name for me. ThingMwahahaha maybe ?

Cyee · 05/10/2009 19:18

Mmmm... cranberry lemo, thank you very much indeed. Yum. I confess I actually just had a glass of full fat coke. My sphincter is not going to thank me for that.

ThingOneMwahahahaha... you're scaring me

Jacksmamwahahaha · 05/10/2009 20:00

There is fat in coke????

ThingOneOfYourNightmares, perhaps?

Cyee · 05/10/2009 20:49

Hahaha - no just oodles of sugar

Jacksmamwahahaha · 05/10/2009 21:00

Did you mean cake or coke?

Confused
Cyee · 05/10/2009 21:23

Cooooooooooke Though I do like cake. Mmmm.... cake.......

Jacksmamwahahaha · 06/10/2009 18:52

Cake... is there cake?

On a thread-related note... I have never been so happy for the existence of suppositories . I moaned to my GP about how much my bits still hurt when I have my period - they just ache, I think it's all that nerve damage - and she suggested Voltaren suppositories as a little bit of anti-inflammatory right on the spot, so to speak, might help... and it does, I feel so much better. Had nasty horrible back ache and pain in bits and period pains and a haemorrhoid that was acting up this morning (it was a crap morning I tell you) and two Voltaren supps later I am in work and feeling no pain.
[relief emoticon]

bubblejet · 06/10/2009 19:20

Jacksmama that sounds brilliant. The aches - are they at the back or front? Sometimes all my bits down below ache so much when I'm on a period I just want to walk around holding myself down there. Haven't really thought to mention it to docs before but now I will def - thanks

Cyee · 06/10/2009 20:24
Jacksmamwahahaha · 06/10/2009 23:36

Wow, cake and fibre... I'm in heaven . Thanks Cyee!! How's the bump? When is Cyeebaby due?

Bubble, my aches are at the front. Kind of like someone gave me a good swift kick right in the crotch. Or, I don't know, let me think --- whacked me with a pair of forceps?? Fortunately my backside only hurts when my haemorrhoids are feeling insulted, for whatever reason. Feeling pretty good right now and I've been on my feet all day so yay for Voltaren suppositories (the actual drug is diclofenac, don't know if it's called that in the U.K.)

However - on the Roaring 40's thread one of the women said that she can still feel her forceps scar from 23 years ago !!