Continued support for SPHINCTER INJURIES, FISTULAE and other CHILDBIRTH INJURIES - the Ragged Bits Thread

[Jacksmama]

Hi all,
old thread here.

Cyee started this thread in May 2008 after her op, and it's been a haven of support for so many of us who have injuries to our bits from childbirth. Especially with respect to sphincter injuries, fistulae and incontinence after childbirth, there seems to be such a lack of support for women, and the entire subject seems to be taboo. It's as if most MD's think that "a certain amount of damage is to be expected after birth and you just have to live with it". Well, that is simply not the case - and this attitude is unacceptable.

There are all kinds of Ragged Bits stories on this thread. Be aware that THERE IS NO "TMI" HERE - this is the one place where you can spill it all. If you read through the old thread, which is nearly full, you'll see that someone, somewhere, has probably experienced it - whatever it is! So don't be embarrassed or ashamed... we'll tell our poo stories if you'll tell yours.

And also - there are success stories here. Several of us who have been through the medical mill have been successfully "repaired" and are "fully functional", so to speak or even expecting again. In those cases, please join us for Pervwatch - the "after action" report for anyone who is once again venturing into marital relations!

Welcome everyone. We're sorry you had to find us, but we're glad you're here.

I've been reading through these messages and I have so much sympathy for Mums facing surgery and dealing with the consequences or birth injuries. I had a fourth degree tear after my 2nd child. After a birth with no pain relief, I had to have an epidural and spend ages in the operating theatre being stitched up. This is where my luck changed. The surgeon had just come back from a conference about 3rd and 4th degree tears! Many nurses, when checking me in the following days, commented on how neat the repair was. I was given lots of follow up appts and advice but, touch wood, 7 years later no symptoms. I thank my lucky stars that I was treated by that particular doctor. Perhaps my experience shows just how important up to date training is for the doctors.

Hello ladies! I've just posted in the Childbirth thread, but I think this is where I'm meant to be.

Incontinence anyone? And if I get told that either (a) drink less water (b) or just do my pelvic floors by one more health professional I think I'm going to scream!!!!

Hi everyone, I haven't been on this thread for aaaaaaaaages - was very active on the first one started by Cyee because I was having lots of problems but they mostly resolved after my internal repair op in Feb 2009.

I apologize because I have not had time to read back - just found this thread on my "watch" list though and thought I'd pop in.

I actually just had a second repair op this past Monday, this one for the external issues. The internal repair was a wedge resection, which took out a mass of scar tissue inside my vagina, and to repair part of the pelvic floor muscle which tore during DS's forceps delivery and was somehow "missed" when I was stitched up by the MW and OB (pair of fuckwits).
I had some external problems left, one of which was that I had a massive haematoma inside my right labia so it was the size of a plum. Once the haematoma had been drained, I was left with an elephant ear-sized labia, which had, of course, been cut when they did the episiotomy to get the forceps in. This had not actually been stitched, so I had this elephant ear and a flap at the bottom . You can imagine how comfortable that was... I pushed and pushed to have it repaired, it was acknowledged to need doing but our surgical wait lists for that sort of thing are as long as yours (I live in Canada) so I finally went private. I have my post-op appointment Tuesday and am very curious to ask the surgeon what actually needed doing because I feel really stitched up :o

For whoever asked about left-over skin tags from haemorrhoids, they do eventually shrink. Mine were the size of cherries right after DS's birth, then I was left with flappy tags and now (DS is 2.9) they're pretty much gone. I did find wiping an issue, or rather, getting completely clean, so I started squirting a nice cooling aloe gel on the toilet paper to wipe with. Water-soluble, so no residue. Better do an allergy test first though.

xxJacksmama

ooh I'm new here and have created a post already, but then I found this thread!!

Well basically here's my history:

Thrombosed hemorrhoids removed at 39 weeks PG.
Nasty episiotomy 2 weeks later :(
Hemorrhoids banded ( unsuccessful)
Full hemorrhoidectomy (sp?)
Cervical Cryotherapy
Return of hemorrhoids during 2nd pregnancy
Tears during child birth
Anal skin tag removal

And next week I am have my perineum reconstructed and I have a rectocele that may get fixed with a full pelvic floor repair, if my surgeon thinks I need it when he has had a good look!!

So yep my bits are in bits and I've had enough :(
So I will be reading back thought this thread for some advice!!!

Thanks

Oh dear Geminizc - best of luck with your op. Having had my perineum done, I can tell you that if you have a good surgeon and are able to take it easy after the op (and take your pain meds and do sitz baths with Epsom salt), you should be a very happy woman when everything is healed. When I had my internal repair done, I remember thinking several weeks later, "oh my gosh... I don't hurt!"

I had my post-op check-up yesterday and the surgeon was very pleased with me and how things are healing. I was able to have a good look with him, and now I know why I feel so stitched up -- because I am :o but I'm impressed by how neat and tidy everything looks. No more ragged shredded labia. Wow. I do wish he'd taken out that one stitch that makes me wince, it's way back, where the labia come together in the back and it's tugging a bit. But he said it's a dissolving suture and will come out when it's ready. Ok then... I will sit somewhat carefully until it does.

How's everyone else?

oof - thought I'd had it bad! - but - still have pain in 'bits' 14 years after birth messed up - had to have full vaginal repair after failed ventouse then forceps delivery after prolonged labour with pretty much no management - no -one noticed baby stuck (back to back and head at wromg angle|), or that I'd stopped dilating at 7cms. In the Uk not some third world place - anyway - full vaginal repair when baby 3 months old - hurt worse than the birth (which had - hurt -). Still have pain along scar line , am an odd shape and hurt like buggery when have period. THanks to person who suggested vaginal pessaries - will ask for them as hate the aching during period. Have to see a gynae soon for unexplained bleeds, so will hopefully get proper check - can't tolerate internals at all usually - persistently avoid smears as can't take pain of speculum. (now hoping not having consequence of that as have some icky gynae symtoms and am reassurring self not anything awful). Any tips on how to tolerate examination when I do see gynae would be appreciated - will have to list symptoms as have so many and think may need some further surgeries for incontinence. Had to have subsequent babes via caesaerean (and they did not feel 'elective thanks to everyone for stupid remarks along lines of 'taking the easy route then?!, etc). Have lovely children but try not to think of first birth as don;t want that level of rage when I think of how badly everyone screwed up and let me down - contributed to breakdown of my previous marriage as ex refused to get me any help/ push for an actual dr to see me instead of midwife sticking head round door every hour or so - apparently they were 'busy and shorthanded'. If I was rich enough think I'd find out names and take all involved to personal injury court. Anyway - would really recommend that anyone who had complications/ bad tears, forceps etc during /post delivery consider the c route to give their bits a break - sore tummy nothing compared with intimate bits and it does'nt hurt years later either. Hope everyone having probs gets the care they deserve and gets better. Am evil enough to hope woman who panicked during my son's delivery had someone equally incompetent carve up her bits and now has some idea of the damage she did me through her incompetence. Adore my 14 yr old who has always made me feel special and lucky to have him - always lie when any of my childrn ask if giving birth hurts - will try to ensure my daughter's get better care than I did though. Sorry for long post but have never talked about this.

Jacksmama! good to see you again! You sound like you're doing well (except for the stitch - ouch!).

I am good, had a very intense debrief with an independent midwife which was an amazing help - even my physical symptoms eased up (well, not the incontinence). I work from home now so am a bit concerned that my condition will be career limiting but I'm trying to look on the bright side.

And, I am expecting DC2 so my relationship improved too (didn't post perv-watch, thread went quiet).

So glad you sound well x

Aokay I'm sorry you've had such a terrible time. It does stay with you but talking helps. Keep posting, we'll listen.

I understand what you say about c-sec but the thing for me is that I blame the hospital for my injuries, not my body. I don't want to give them a chance to fuck up my bladder or something else. I'm taking my chances on a homebirth with proper support. That's what was missing from DD's birth (DH tried to support me as best he could but was terrified).

I usually close my eyes and do some slow, deep breathing to get through internals. I think it's normal to tense up and not enjoy them - what mammal could relax in such a vulnerable situation?

Odysseus - how are you getting on? There are some women incontinent of urine who post here but it's a slow thread, stick around and post. Can you see your GP? drink less is pathetic - it's about control, surely you can leak as long as you need to pee. Pelvic floor exercises have their place but if they're not working they need to do further investigation. There are other treatments for urinary incontinence (Botox, sacral nerve stim). Please get a 2nd opinion.

Gemini - good luck with your op. Jacksmama has posted a more helpful reply than I ever could.

Congratulations Hulla I am so pleased for you. I hope everything goes ok for you.

I was on here over a year ago and this thread was a great help. I still look in now and again to find out how everyone is doing. It is so sad that so many women are having problems as a result of childbirth. I was told it was very rare and I was just unlucky so I felt very alone and at the time I really needed someone to talk to about it. Thankfully Mumsnet was there.

I had a forcep delivery which resulted in a 4th degree tear and my bladder stopped working so I had to have a catheter for 3 week. I still feel abit sore even though it has been 18 months since the birth. I have been checked out numerous times and told everything has healed ok so I hope this will improve with time.

Take care everyone and good luck to everyone going through investigations or operations.

Heck! Hello everyone!

HULLA Congratulations! How dare you deny us pervwatch!!! The thread wouldn't have stayed quiet with that kind of detail :) Seriously though, that's great news, I'm delighted for you.

Jacksmama :) Lovely to see you and glad you are recovering well.

I'm sorry I don't know all the names of the people who've posted recently, but I'd like to add my welcome. As I've read through the posts the subject of going to the doc (or not) really took me back to my own situation. I hope it might help in the sense that I felt like that too:
God I completely understand why you would be fearful. I am not great with doctors at the best of times but I actually rang mine first, hoping she'd tell me it was something that would sort itself out. I found the exams really hard, since I'm not great with normal smears. However what made me do it was that I couldn't accept my injured body the way it was and I couldn't have let my DH near me. I felt broken and horrible and that's what I had in my mind as I lay on the table having my bum probed. When I look back now I can't actually believe it happened! So that's what made me get help and now I am SO relieved I did. Things aren't perfect but my body pretty much works. I have a physical relationship and I am not self-conscious. The op as has been said above is bear-able. And of course you can always say NO.

From the beginning I'd recommend explaining your anxiety and tell the docs up front that you're there because you want to get help but if it's too much to handle you'll say so and then it's hands off. No one will make you do anything you don't want to do.

I wish all those who've had or are having treatment/ops a quick and effective recovery. For those still in the early stages I so so so feel for you - it can be a scary, isolating and generally shit time for you and those close to you.

Hulla - thank you so much for being such a great support and for taking the time. I'm going to make more time to get on here. I remember how important all of your support was to me. And of course there was pervwatch :)

I hope all you posters and lurkers are well :)

Hello all. I can't believe it's so long since my first post. I haven't been on mumsnet for a while, RL got in the way. Anyway, I've finally got my appointment letter today, for next Friday. Gulp. Not sure whether to take DP or not - I obviously don't want him in the exam, but it might be good to have him there for some support/prevent me running away.

If anyone has a moment, can you let me know what I should ask/make sure is covered? I think I have a prolapse and a rectocele. Also, I barely seem to have a perineum any more - is that usual after birth, should I bring it up, and is there anything that can be done? Cyee, thanks for your last post - 'broken and horrible' sums up exactly how I feel.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

I'm new to this thread but due a rectocele repair (and some work on my very saggy perineum) this Thurs, colds and snow permitting...

DD1's birth (Aug 2007) was failed ventouse & forceps, with a 3rd degree tear and shoulder dystocia. Reg said I was 'a mess' inside. Nice. Aftercare was non-existent, so had follow up at another hospital after moving house.

Scans showed all OK after about 10 months so I opted out of recommended elective c-section for DD2's birth (Feb this year), which was - again - failed ventouse & forceps, with a big episiotomy but no tears. She was 17 oz lighter at 8lb 7oz. Very bruised and raw afterwards.

I'd been really uncomfortable while PG, especially round my perineum, but no-one seemed to know why (or really be interested) so I put up with it and assumed it was mostly from piles. Anyway, in the summer I found a bulge and went to the GP who said it was a rectocele and weakened perineum. Consultant in September confirmed it, and seemed surgery was the only way to fix it as too far gone for physio to be enough. I was surprised when I agreed and said I'd go for it...

Hoping it goes ahead this week as it's getting worse - visible externally on a bad day - and constipation becoming more frequent. Now I know why everyone says 'you mustn't strain' but wish they'd told me why. Not that it would have stopped it, but it might not have been so bad.

Op done and I was back home after 2 days. Sore and achy but much better than I expected. Things 'down there' look so much better already - quite amazing!

Hi everyone,
just thought I'd pop in again.

Cyee, great to "see" you and I'm so pleased that you're doing so well.

I've had a tough several weeks. Developed an infection in my stitches, so back on antibiotics, with resultant candida infection, of course. Pure misery. In addition, my bottom isn't doing too well. Was diagnosed with proctitis in July after I was sent to have suspected haemorrhoids checked out (knife-like pain with pooing). Two months of suppositories (fun...), and I don't know how the proctitis is doing, but the knife-like pain is still there. I have a repeat sigmoidoscopy on Dec 14, will ask to be checked with a fissure down there. Misery. Pain in the arse, literally.

Have a check-up with the surgeon who did the most recent repair on Thurs and will ask him to take the stitches out. It's been four weeks today and they're still in - no sign of them dissolving. Enough is enough.

Sorry, not feeling particularly cheerful today.

Thanks DB. How are you??

Hi everyone,

Just realised my post didn't post last week. Grrrr..

Buggerof - how was your appointment? I hope it went well. Let us know.

Jacksmama - URGH! So sorry to hear what a crap time you've been having. How are you feeling today? I hope they get to the bottom of what's going on. Literally I guess. Ah - I really feel for you.

Doombar... mmmm... cake!

ET63 - delighted the op seems to have gone well. Sounds like a great result.

Take care everyone :)

"Get to the bottom" - LOL! Thank you, I needed the laugh.

Feeling exhausted and crabby. Bottom sore, stitches pissing me off. If Dr doesn't take them out Thursday I will brain him with the stirrup off the exam table.

:) Yes - do it! And film it! Revenge! We could start an underground movement... the Arse-onists :o
Take care!

Oh Cyee, I just nearly spit my coffee on the laptop screen at Arse-onists!! If this thread goes to a #3, that's what we should call ourselves!!

PMSL!!!

Oh Cyee, I just nearly spit my coffee on the laptop screen at Arse-onists!! If this thread goes to a #3, that's what we should call ourselves!!

PMSL!!!

Apparently it was so funny I pissed myself twice .

:o Though in fairness it wouldn't take me to pmsl these days....

Chaps - you're famous!!
I take my hat off to you all!

OH MY GOD!!!!

Wow!!!

Yessssss!!! Our ishoos are finally getting some recognition!!!!!!!!!!!

:o