whenskiesaregrey Firstly, I am so sorry for the delay in posting. Please don't think I wasn't bothered, I was ill yesterday and this is the first chance I've had to reply.
I am familiar with the bury-head-in-the-sand approach to health problems. I even find that it sometimes works but for something as important as this, you've done the right thing in speaking about it.
Firstly, don't blame yourself for any of this. I think it is more likely that any pelvic floor problems are a result of your birth and not going on a bucking bronco and even if they are, so what? Guilt changes nothing.
It isn't petty not to want to go to the GP about this. I cancelled an entire block of women's physio sessions because she told me she wanted to insert a finger into my vagina and check that I was doing pelvic floor exercises properly. It was too soon after DD's birth and I felt sick at the thought of being touched.
It sounds like you're quite an active person and you're finding the leakage embarrassing and limiting. You know that means you have to seek help don't you?
If you don't feel like you can talk to anyone in RL about it then don't stress about that. You can always talk here.
I decided I would hint at my problems to a couple of friends to test the water for their reaction. Both told me that they had faecal urge incontinence (On aged 40, had 4th degree tear mid-30s and one aged 28 who'd had a CS). The friend who had the tear said it was a relief to find someone who understood.
I think PFEs can help with all of the things you mention. Yoga and pilates are supposed be good for pelvic floor strength.
You should get confirmation rather than rely on self-diagnosis. I am at risk of prolapse because apparently I have a weakness in my vaginal wall. I had no idea about this but once my surgeon pointed out some of the signs I may have noticed I realised they'd been there for a while. I also thought I had some strange tissue on my vaginal wall but nope, apparently it's normal I'd just never seen it before giving birth. My obstetrician did tell me that your vagina never looks the same once you've given birth.
Do you have any problems with your bowel? It might be that you really did have a second degree tear and you've just got a weaken pelvic floor from carry a baby for 9 months and giving birth.
Do you think you could request to see a female GP? What is stopping you from going? Would it help if I told you what examinations or tests I'd had which helped diagnose my problems?
How often have you checked your cervix? It does change position through-out your cycle so it may not be as bad as you think.
If you are thinking of TTC then you want to start with as healthy a body as possible. And you don't want to go into your next pregnancy worrying about the birth or your body post-birth.
Come back and chat and I'll help you decide what your next step is going to be 