Kokoshi expat gerbra bladebla HELP just come across our (dead) thread

[walkinthewoods]

Lots of things going on. I will keep posting until I get you!

I have name changed...used to be glowwormish.

Our company went inot liquidation 2 months ago and tbh its a relief. Obviously no money coming in now but hey life is too short for all that shit.

I went to docs with a lump under my chin and exhaustion. Then I had an extended period with cramping and pain in left ovary area. In the meantime I went on hols (first one for years and years).

Got back last week and satrted spotting the other day. Lump still there. Went back to gp's and sh'es going to do a blood test. Amongst ither things it involves a LFT (searched on mn and came across our old thread) . Now am a bit worried about what it will turn up. I have been drinking at much the same rate as normal (bottle a night) however a bit less on hols actually! Can't belive how much I needed a holiday even tho ds was manic.

Now the business is kaputt I have been more an more thinking about abstaining and I have an idea in mind of about late summer. I am going to throw everything at it, hypnotherapy, books, change in routine, relaxation CD's. I am dtermined to do it. Maybe the LFT will give me a bit of a kick but still a bit c=sacred, have my blood test tomorrow.

Strangely emough plonk.... the night before last I 'forgot' to drain the bottle and there was a smidgen left (only about a unit). Yes I know that drinking that last dreg would make NO difference to how I felt at that time. So it did kind of set a chain of thought in process. Its interesting that your neuroscientist told you about 'drinking that little bit less'

Last night I did a little experiment. Before I got to the bit where I thought well might as well finish my 'quota', I thought 'how do I feel?' I also thought if I drink the rest, will I feel 'any better' (not in the real sense of the word, you understand) but as you're quite rightly saying.... its the buzz after the first glass or two, after that its pointless.......

Am interested in your CBT (and wig is also doing it too)

Where is everyone else??? Heellloooooo, what are you all up to?

That's interesting that you are thinking about what you are drinking. I think it may be the start of getting a kind of handle on it.

When my eating was rubbish, I used to 'experiment' and see if I could get away with eating masses of whatever. It was completely pointless and it never worked. Thankfully I have given up that habit!

Sometimes I think, well do I need another glass of wine? Then I think, no, I don't need another one but another one would be nice. Or something else. Dh is very good at saying no, no need for any more. He's much better than I am! If it were me with someone who drank as much as I can, I expect I might have sunk by now.

Hey everyone, C'MON!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I would respond to dp saying 'no' but he wouldn't as he wouldn't want to dominate me and that's NOT saying that this behaviour is dominating, but he's a bit soft and he has his own vices....I never say 'stop smoking' to him for instance. Maybe I should? But I know he doesn't respond to 'nagging' and anytime someone brings up the subject, he closes down (specifically his dm and when she does he goes out for a fag)

And yes I know the 'do I need another one but it would be nice' evil stuff

Hello everyone!!
Teasle hello

Im so sorry I've not been more of a regular poster, although you could praise me for this as it means I've not been such a regular drinker!!

Had 1 beer on Monday evening and that was it until tonight...sweated and night-mared my way through those weekday nights, but I did it sober....woo hoo!!

You know my sober periods remind me of how I used to be before drink became important to me...and drink meant NOTHING to me...I'm trying so hard to remember how unimportant it was, it's hard though...

Plonk, you mention food and drinking...I am your lady to talk to for this. I had 10+ years as a sufferer of an eating disorder, anorexia, compulsive eating...(I never mastered bulimia ). Still to this day I can say that nothing gives me more shame than the eating problems. Weirdly enough, this has been a big year for me... the year I say 'yes' instead of 'no' to stuff and also being honest with people close around me...and I've done that, and it feels better...

god I'm rambling I'm sorry...!

I think I'll be less often on the thread...so as long as you're all happy for me to ramble when I do appear...all good...!!

hope you're all well, I'd like to send a big hug to all of you...

wig xx

I am a SAHDin germany and if you ladies have the same problemsas as me then we need to help each other.

I shal kepp a watch here as I am buggered if I ca keep off the stuff. 6 beers down and need one more and a load of vine grapes getting ripe n the sun as I speak.

Keep me posted.

Wig...well done you. One thing that does worry me when I give up is the sleepless nights. So you have nightmares and stuff?

Manin, welcome. Tis truly evil stuff isn't it? And its so good to be able to talk about the nitty gritty with others. Tell us your story....when did you start, how much, what's your cue, how does it affect you and your family. Is you dw in the forces or is she German? You don;t have to answer anythin btw, just being nosey. Alot of people don't want to be 'identified' me included!

There are 2 other threads running in the same vein. When I've got some time I will cut and paste the links so we can all get on one thread. Have to dash.

Hope everyone else is doing ok...PURPLE??

Too much going on right now to post properly, but checking in to say hello x x

witw, one thing that terrifies me when i finally [hope] to get sober...will be the endless sleepless nights, or sleep chocka with bad dreams and the sweats....

Purple- all that passes.
xx