Tamoxifen - advice please !

[MargaretMountford]

Am going to be starting Tamoxifen shortly, was just wondering whether anyone else is on it and can tell me what it's like ! thanks !

I can draw penguins ! - am off to look ! thanks

didn't come to anything - think my penguins are a bit too uncartoony ! but thanks...
Took another break after my early lunch break to go out to buy some new inks and lovely watercolour paper (and a trip to Waitrose too)

EVERY time I sit down to read/post on this thread I get interrupted by small children during the day or the phone in the evening!!

Thanks for the replies re mastectomies (and hello Kurri Kurri). I was asking as I have been given the choice of lumpectomy or mastectomy - but have decided to def go for mastectomy. I saw my BCN yesterday and have let her know and today I feel like a huge weight has lifted. This time next week I shall be in hospital, waiting for op on the 16th. I feel like I'm about to do a bungee jump.... And yet I know the op is just the beginning of what you have already all been through.

I need to post more often so I can keep up with you all... Lots has been happening, trips to London, Trainspotting incident in a public convenience , penguins, exams and posh moisturisers...

... and RWU - hope the prunes have been successful

Love to all - I know I'm not posting a lot at the moment, but it means a lot to know you are all here... x

right i made it through, have slept for 7 hours and now fancy ben and jerry's phish food, however i have hit a stumbling block or two- firstly our freezer died at the weekend and it hasn't been high on the to do list however this would not be the major problem as i think i may manage a whole tub The major problem with the plan is living in the middle of blardy nowhere and having a dh who is reluctant to drive the hour (and a bit!) round trip to the 24 hour tesco hey ho- hot chocolate and parsnip crisps will have to do

Chemo went ok- i had an indian head massage and a pedicure with natural botanic products (apparently!) whilst i was toxified- almost made it worthwhile off to bed soon to see if i can sleep off the worst of the yuckyness!
night all x

MorphFan - am glad you have been able to make your decision - things always much easier to deal with once you have a plan and know what's what..will be thinking of you next week...
RWU - well done - sorry you aren't having your phish food but the parsnip crisps and hot choc sound very nice.Indian head massage too Have a good rest now and see you soon xx

Gald to see things went OK RWU - I think the parsnip crisps (yum) and hot choc sound lovely. Hope things feel OK this morning. 'Tis indeed a trial living in the middle of nowhere - as someone who lives on the very leafy edge of a not very nice city I have the best of both worlds (as well as some of the not so nice bits sometimes). On one hand i can see and hear cows from my house, on the other, it is still a bloody long way to the shops, and you are stuffed if you can't drive. nearest shop well over a mile away - and it is a rubbish Spar where there isn't much choice, and what there is costs an arm and a leg.

Good to see you have made a choice MorphFan. I bet it seems a bit radical but, really, good for you. You have taken back control, which is great.

You are in the worst bit right now - just watiting and knowing it is still there is horrible. Once you are on the treatment road things should feel more positive, because it will be getting sorted. (Also the post-surgery drugs can be quite nice, only don't let on to anyone.)

Also - take a tip from RWU's book - if they offer you some nice supportive therapies like head massage - grab with both hands!!

Don't worry about not posting much, but drop in when you want to. I have put your surgery date in my diary, as I believe in sending positive vibes (I am a bit new age-y in my quiet moments) and will do so for you. Can't do any harm so don't get spooked

Sorry penguins came to naught MAS - but worth a try. Keeps the blood flowing!

This morning I have sent dd off to school dressed as a pirate for some reason I have totally forgotten. Next week they are going to the cinema: a couple of weeks ago they went to a local attraction called The Beach (you have to have a very good imagination ) - school ain't wot it used to be, is it?

have a good weekend all!

A-ha - here I am again. Posting twice in two days must mean I'm getting the hang of this mumsnetting

I see RWU has moved on from prunes to parsnip crips. Hope you got some sleep and are not feeling too grot today...

Opting for mastectomy does seem a bit radical I guess - especially as I was offered a choice of that or lumpectomy. But, I just feel it's the only way I can be sure I've done everything I can to get rid of it. Also, almost certainly would lose the nipple as one lump is right up behind it. Also, also - three lumps, smallish boobs and no nipple equals not a lot left anyway!!

Am also a bit new age-y - and very happy to receive all your positive thoughts and vibes - especially as finger crossing seems to have failed me so far .

Good weekend to all.

Hi MorphFan

Radical sounds the way to go - I was in hosp with a woman who has had one lumpectomy, was in for another, and was warned that a mastectomy might have to follow. Everyone has to make their own choice, and I am not criticising her at all, but that can't be good, can it? get it all sorted once and for all.

And as for finger crossing - nope, didn't work here either.

Have just cheered myself up immensely by going out for a drive and listening to a Madness CD. I am quite old so I remember them from first time around - I now have a bigger spring in my step and a daft grin on my face. Off to pick dd up from school now - so will be grimacing again soon from the sheer volume of chatter that is likely to follow. {weary emoticon)

Have a great weekend. Pamper yourself a bit (and i am not thinking anything to do with nappies here
xx

am a great believer in good, positive thoughts - crystals and all that malarky are not my thing, but as a lapsed Catholic I do believe that prayer can't do any harm - I mix it with a bit of Buddhism for good measure
dh laughs at my 'shrine' on top of my wardrobe which has a very nice Renaissance triptych of angels,a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary, a child Jesus and a buddha -covering all bases really !

Where have you all gone? It's ever so echoey in here, helloooooooo..............!

as you can tell i have recovered my sense of humour, next on the recovery list is correct use of my eyes as i'm going through the bumpy clumpy stage of walking into things because i can't tell how far away they are again!

Hope you're all ok- just remembered some of you are off for lovely weekends away aren't you !

hello RWU ! I'm here -
have been all weekend - dismal weather today so didn't go anywhere/do anything ! Hope your eyes get acclimatised soon !

ahh you must have been hiding in the corner when i popped in!

I feel ok other than being incredibly clumsy, thinking it may be a very good idea to walk the boys to school in the morning and relinquish my car keys to dh supposed to be going to a friends for a playdate with dd- not sure yet, have to see in the morning however i'm sure it would do me good and thankfully she has already told me i can lounge on her sofa

How are you doing? everyone seems to have been doing lots lately and i've not quite caught up (or may have caught up and then promptly forgotten lol!)

lounging on your friend's sofa sounds a good thing to me !
Am fine - bit sorry that we didn't do anything interesting this w/end - I really wanted to get out but we couldn't face the rain.
My bcn has spoken to my doc about referring me for cbt (did I say that before ?!) Will be a bit scary to go through a cbt programme again -as I recall from the first time it was hard. Am still waiting for my post rads follow up - bcn says they are very behind.
Hope everyone has a good week and will be thinking especially of MorphFan xx

Mornin' all

Sorry to have dipped out for the whole weekend: has been a bit manic. Good to see you up and feeling more human RWU - what is going on with the eyes? Sounds horrible! I've never had that (tho' I did have some horrid white crusty stuff that kept appearing in them - prob TMI)Relinquish the car keys for a bit!

Am liking the sound of MAS's multi-faith shrine on the wardrobe. I like to cover all bases too - protestant myself, married to a Catholic, with a personal interest in crystals (mainly because they are pretty and I like to be igven jewellery), but also very fond of dowsing. Have taught dd to do it too!

Mind you she just asks questions like is my Mummy pretty. She is always mortified when the pendulum says "No". Personally I am unsurprised.

Aaargh! The post has just come (well it is 2.30, after all, even the Royal Mail couldn't leave it MUCH longer) and I have been called for a smear test!

Routine I know, and the programme is officially A GOOD THING - but I fear it is a step too far for me at the moment.

I have even found going to the dentist a trial, as she almost climbed on my lap and shone a torch around to make sure my mouth was OK: the optician was much the same - I guess it has all shaken my confidence a bit.

I will go for the smear, of course, but it all just makes me nervous, in case they find anything (my BC was found on a routine mammogram and I know I should be grateful -well I AM grateful, but I find I can't take it all in my stride IYSWIM).

I shall have to grit my teeth - even more than you usually do when they have a speculum up your fanjo

oh Cakes - smears are one of my least favourite things and I usually have to psych myself up for them - I know they are good things and I do always go,but yack...I get very tense and anxious-last time it was very uncomfortable and that unnerved me. It does seem a bit much on top of everything else but sometimes it's quite good to grasp the nettle so to speak when you are in the midst of difficult stuff (partly why I thought of having that minor op recently -I reckoned it couldn't be worse than biopsies,SNB etc !) (I shall not be hurrying back to have any more bumps removed until I've erased the memory of being an 'emergency bleeder' from my mind)
Do you mean the dentist/optician are more vigilent if they know you've had bc ?? Should one tell them do you think ?
Let us know when you do go and we'll do cyber hand holding and provide cake afterwards xxx
Staggeringly my mail arrived before 11 am today

Thanks MAS, I'll hold you to that

Yes, I believe they are more vigilant, I think it is best to tell them, I told my dentist before chemo treatment started and she put it on my notes and gave me a very thorough check up. They do look out for oral cancer lesions in everyone apparently, but she was definitely a lot more in-yer-face (literally, obv) with mine, said it was important to check v carefully. Optician, I think less so, he was more concerned specifically with chemo and how that might affect eyes short-term, so no worries for you there.

You are right of course, I shall grasp the nettle - but it really changes everything, doesn't it? All of a sudden you seem very mortal...

Apparently tamoxifen can affect your tears and they can damage hard contact lenses (which I have) - gah !

Hello all, hope no one thought I'd joined and run away! Just had a busy few days. Had an oncology appointment on thursday, actually it was just a drugs trial appointment (I was on a drugs trial for my chemo and so have to go for extra check ups.) I had thought it was a proper appointment and got myself a bit stressed. Anyway am seeing the oncologist in December to discuss how the herceptin is going. (It can affect your heart so have to have three monthly echocardiograms)

My DD came back from uni for the weekend on Friday. It was DH's birthday on Sunday, so we went birthday shopping and she made him a cake.Also DS wasn't working for a change so we all managed a family party tea. (Cheese and pineapple on sticks - the full works!)

Take care RWU, I know that clumsy feeling, its horrible isn't it. No sudden movements mind. Hope you managed to get to your friend's today, a change of scenery always helps I think.

I like your idea of covering all bases Cakes and MAS, I'm a firm believer in 'whatever helps you through and makes you feel better is a good thing.' I've booked myself onto a yoga and meditation day at the end of the month, I really want to lean how to be able to switch my mind off sometimes.

Hope the CBT will be helpful for you MAS. My DS had it last year and has found it quite useful to draw on the techniques at difficult times.

Thinking of you Morphfan. Take care

cheese and pineapple on sticks - love them ! I used to make them for my friends dd's party stuck into half a grapefruit..
v nice to see you KurriKurri

Ooh didn't know that about tamoxifen and hard lenses. Flippin' heck it is hard sometimes, isn't it? I have ny initial radio consultation later today, so i shall ask about soft lenses, which I wear (when I can be arsed/want to look like a fox - delete as applicable).

Love, love, love kid-type party food - much more than when I was a kid, even! Things on sticks, yes, please! Sounds a lot of fun, especially as cake was also involved.

I think the idea of a yoga type thing sounds just my cup of tea, too. Switching your mind off is a major blessing - and i should know, becuase I do it all the time. Sometimes in the middle of something quite important

Something a bit weird happened to me yesterday. I might not be able to explain it very well and it might seem pretty everyday when written down, but I shall try. (Feel free to skip if it gets too long, it ain't that interesting)

I was at the school waiting to pick dd up and chatting to a friend about her beery weekend away, when it felt like someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked around, no-one there, but I could see a three year old i know vaguely tottering away up the path to the exit. For some reason I just knew that her Mum was on the playground (hadn't seen her) - i called the little girl, who turned round and stopped. I offered her my hand and she came back with me, we went looking for her Mum, who we found looking for the little girl, but in completely the wrong place. It might sound ordinary, but it feels to me like there was a bit of an intervention that went on there, IYSWIM.

Anyway that's my thought for the day, feel free to go 'ahem' and move on.

Also thinking of you MorphFan. When you get to the post op stage come back and talk to us - some of us have a f ew 'Top Tips' that we have found to help!!!

ooh, psychic happenings !! or else just natural maternal intuition, or something
Dh working at home today as he has osteopath appointment this morning so not much chance to check my mail or faff about here..
Am not sure about the facts behind tamox. and hard lenses, just noticed something on a forum where an optician had pointed this out...as long as mine last a couple more years that'll be ok- I am a bit rough with them so they end up scratched anyway. Soft lenses I don't know about..I wear my specs at the w/end or when I can't be arsed to fiddle with lenses..
Do hope all goes well this week MorphFan - will be thinking of you and hope you'll come back post-op (or pre-op if you have time !)

btw good luck Cakes with rads consultation - is that meeting with onc. to discuss schedule or planning session with tats ?

'Tis the meeting with the onc to discuss the schedule. It's a new guy though, as my main onc guy only does chemo, not radio.

This time I am going to dress more appropriately. Last time I was in a smart dress as I had a biz meeting beforehand. looked nice for the meeting, but required total disrobing for the consultation

Won't make that mistake again!

you might not need to undress for rads onc schedule thing- well I didn't anyway because it was just to discuss the length of treatment and what to expect plus going through the consent form...at the planning it's time for marker pens and tattoos and photographs ! (though of course rads onc might want to check your wounds for healing etc)