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Original poster

do I have a drink problem?

126 replies

farmhouseSally · 27/02/2009 18:20

have namechanged though am not a prolific poster. would welcome honest views please.

I have a drink most evenings, always wine. I never get drunk but am worried really because I am never able to resist having a glass... I've never had great willpower on anything "nice" - chocolate, wine, staying up too late to read a good book even when exhausted etc.

Most mornings I wake up, feel vaugely fuzzy, not hungover but always think "I won't have a drink tonight". But when it gets to 5 o'clock I'm thinking, "once dd is in bed I'd love a glass of wine." and so around 7.30pm I have 1 glass, usually 2, 3 tops. I find it virtually impossible to go without wine (or chocolate, or staying up late etc) once I've decided that's what I would "like" / "need" / "deserve". Am a lone parent btw.

I do know I'm not an alcoholic in that I don't drink in the mornings, get drunk, drink regardless of the context etc etc. If there was no wine in the house in the evening I wouldn't go out to buy it and leave dd in the house alone for example. I'm not drinking to excess but I also know that 2 glasses a night on average still isn't that good for my health when I add up the units. and my lack of willpower is what worries me. There is wine in the house now because I had guests for dinner on Saturday and they all brought a bottle.

sorry this is so long. would be very interested in views on this and any advice.

thanks

OP posts:
jasper · 27/02/2009 22:30

can someone please tell me what that "water in the brain" is all about?

elastamum · 27/02/2009 22:32

Hey, I am happy when I am drinking but maybe not so happy at 5.30am the next morning when I get up to muck out the horses before getting the kids up for school and then driving 1 1/2 hours to work - a 3 hour round trip each day... My life as a LP is hard atm, so I let myself off the hook a bit, which I know I should stop doing but in terms of life stress I have had everything except smeone dying in the space of less than six months and I am still standing, glass in hand, and cheerful most of the time

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:34

Ketamine?! Where do people get that stuff?!

I do know one alcoholic who now has a substitute addiction, but it's to coffee, and man, can he put it away!

I knew another former drug addict who substituted an addiction to exercise.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:35

Oh, and one guy who had to take antabuse by court order because of his DUI conviction who became the biggest stoner around.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:35

Oh, and one guy who had to take antabuse by court order because of his DUI conviction who became the biggest stoner around.

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:36

I stay "aff it" one day at a time, attend AA meetings, try to accpet life as it is and try to stay grateful and nostalgia-free.

As such, I don't find it difficult, no, though it was harder at first. It's not as difficult as drinking, and it's certainly never been as hard as controlling my drinking.

My personal view is that the 12-step programme NEVER counts you as "cured" - only in remission.

If I'm honest, I'm sure I have poked my nose in myself from time to time in the past, though always with the best of motivations. These days, I try very hard to hold my opinion back until it's invited, like on these threads.

elastamum · 27/02/2009 22:36

I'd quite like to substitute an addiction to ravishing good looking men but i cant find any

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:38

[Passes MIFLAW a cup of Sleepytime tea with honey]

The mornings are a big motivator for me.

To wake up and remember everything from the night before and feel pretty good, even if sleep deprived from baby and kids having a rough night.

As another person said in the old dependent drinker threads, 'You can't buy those mornings!'

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:39

"Wet brain" is Korsakoff Syndrome, I think. Basically, you start speaking in stream of consciousness because you drink so much it destroys the normal functioning of your brain.

Rare, because the physical effects on the rest of the body, or drink-related "incidents", kill most people before they get that far.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:42

Yikes, never heard of wet brain before.

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:42

Thanks for beverage.

I probably have a caffeine addiction, myself, and it's definitely got worse since I stopped drinking.

But as I've never been barred from Starbucks or passed out in Caffe Nero I think it's still a pretty good deal and can live with it.

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:43

It's very 30s. It gets mentioned in the Big Book, back in the days when drinkers WERE drinkers.

jasper · 27/02/2009 22:43

thanks, Man

FairyCCTaleEnding · 27/02/2009 22:44

I think I'm becoming a mumsnet addict. Keep saying 'stop now, turn the computer off, go to bed ...' but then thinking 'oh just one more won't hurt'.

Need some sleepytime tea, methinks.

elastamum · 27/02/2009 22:45

I never drink so I cant remember But i do often face the dawn (6am atm) and wish i had gone to bed at least a glass earlier, night ,night, all!!!

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:48

If you're still drinking at dawn, isn't that morning drinking?

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:48

Night, elasta.

Sleepytime tea rocks. Tension Tamer is good, too.

Caffiene-free as well, although I start every morning with two rather large mugs of coffee myself and nurse a few black teas.

Still, like MIFLAW, a better trade-off than 1-3 bottles, 1-3 packs of Marlboro Lights and that 'Oh, fuck, where am I?' feeling in the morning (usually followed by 'Who the hell is this? Where's my stuff? and then frantically checking mobile phone for calls and texts sent out whilst pissed beyond belief).

ManIFeelLikeAWoman · 27/02/2009 22:50

Sorry, misunderstanding - you mean you get up hungover at 6, yes? I take it back.

FairyCCTaleEnding · 27/02/2009 22:51

Or, in my case, waking up after seven years of drinking and realising I'd married the wrong man!

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:52

even now, getting up at 6 at all just seems so . . . wrong. newborn phase accepted, of course.

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:54

'Or, in my case, waking up after seven years of drinking and realising I'd married the wrong man!'

Or mine, dumped by your abusive drunk loser boyfriend in a foreign country where you know no one.

That's when you think, 'This is about as fucked up as I want to get, thank you!'

ilovemydogandMrObama · 27/02/2009 22:57

What is it about getting drunk and that compulsion to call long distance?

elastamum · 27/02/2009 22:58

OOPs still here, really must go to bed, I think my mumsnet addiction does as much damage as the drink but this too has been a lifeline these past few months, thanks all NOW STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND GO TO BED!!!!!

expatinscotland · 27/02/2009 22:58

Or look up old boyfriends?

FairyCCTaleEnding · 27/02/2009 22:59

expat, I do that sober ...