How much alcohol is too much for you or your partner?

[merrygoround]

I am unbelievably fed up of this subject but the issue of how much is too much drink is dominating my life again. Just thought I'd see if anyone would be kind enough to post a reply so that I have a sense of how much variation there might be in peoples' views.

Two pieces of info would help.

1. Do you take any notice of "recommended units" when deciding how much to drink? Whether yes or no for yourself, does it affect how you react to your dp's drinking? If not, at what point do you feel your dp has had "too much", and find it winds you up?
2. Do you or your dp ever drink (and if so, how would you know when you've reached thelimit)when you are looking after your child(ren)? Or only when they are in bed?

My dp drinks 3 times the recommended amount on a weekly basis, with no day off. Something has to change or else I am going to split up with him, as I simply cannot live with it any more. Sometimes I feel like I have gone mad, and that my standards are unreasonable - I do take note of recommended amounts, but am not sure how much use they are when trying to convince someone that they drink too much. For my dp those limits look miniscule.

By the way, it only takes a glass or two of wine to make me squiffy, and dh no longer drinks.

I've just come across this and wonder if someone can solve an argument I am having with a friend at the moment, one for Toothache, I think.

How many units do you consider to be in a bottle of wine. I argue that there is 8 but my friend argues that there is only 5.

Anyone able to settle the toss between us?

I think you're right in most cases WD. Obviously it depends on how much alcohol percentage the wine has (they can from about 10 to about 14.5) but "a glass" is much smaller than most of us think!

I'd love to say it was 5, but I do think it is actually 8 or often 9 if it is 13.5%

Sorry Merrgoround, having read my post I hope you don't feel me insensitive, perhaps I should have started a diferent thread. but just thought it followed on from your units query. Sorry

6 glasses in a bottle? I thought. Not my glasses but standard glasses.

Thanks ladies. I do worry about my friend as she drinks a bottle of wine every night and in edition she is out every other night and drinks spirits on top. That said it never seems to affect her ability to hold down a job, keep a house and look after her 4 children.

Wish I had her stamina. 2-3 glasses of wine and thats quite enough for me.

Blimey she has got stamina - for now. Here's a link about units, I read somewhere that wine can contain between 6 to 12 units per bottle, depending on alcohol content, but I can't find the link. On this one, it tells you how to work it out (but I think you have to be better at maths than I am!)

booze link

Oh and lots of bottles nowadays tell you how many units are in the bottle

Blimely Caligula
Just had a quick look at the strength of a bottle of wine we opened at the weekend which was 14%. So the 175ml glass of wine they refer to is equivalent to 2.45units. That is eye opening because in that case a glass of wine per night would bring you up above the 14units referred as being the upper limit for ladies or if you go by 21units you could only have a little over a glass of wine per night. I have never looked it at it is like this before.

I would generally have 2-3 glasses every other night and a little more at the weekend. So that puts me way over

So If I drink 12% wine a bottle would be 9 units. Reckon I am generally within the limits at that. Dh drinks significantly less than me (ie hardly anything).

I'm going to risk a positive post! Dp has started the drink diary (I can hardly believe he's even done that much)and is sharing it with me. He's also told me that he is going to cut his after work drink in the pub down from two pints to one - his words were "I always tell myself that the second one doesn't matter, but now I realise that it does". Then he said that once he's cut it down a fair bit he will cut out one day a week. I simply cannot believe my ears. I think he really means it. And two nights now he has drank less than 4 pints (cans are slighly less than a pint) - I think he is finally becoming conscious of what he is putting away, and this is making him question each one a bit more.

OK, OK, it's early days, but I honestly never expected even this, so I will relish it for as long as it lasts. He was also great company tonight, and EVEN let me read a bit from Men are from Mars..... to him (!) (We'd had a bad day yesterday when he "went into his cave" - you probably know what I mean if you've never seen the book - and I persisted into trying to drag him out by making him talk to me (typical Venus behaviour apparently, which only makes things worse). He said that the book was a bit frightening as it so accurately described what had happened between us, and his own feelings.

Hi Merrygoround
Hope this is the start of a bright new future for you and that DH sees the sunshine soon instead of the haze. Wishing you all the best.

Thanks Mishmash, it is nice to feel positive for a change. Was off sick last two days with stinking cold, but think it was all related to the intense worry that dp would not want to curb drinking. Now although I feel full of a cold still, I feel less tense.