we want to get our son circumsized but don't know if we should. any advise?

[juicychops]

the doctor has tried to advise us not to as it is an unnecessary surgical procedure. My partner is circumsized and we both agree it is much cleaner and hygenic but don't know if we should do it or not. has anyone had their young son circumsized? and advise?

Maybe Kookool and Juicychops could converse via email! Its quite upsetting to read a calm discussion re: plans for a needless operation when so many babies/children must have lifesaving surgery or die. The risk of a needless general anaesthetic alone would be offputting to most people. I know nobody has to read the thread.. but I came upon it due to the fact that my son needed a cicumscision so felt I could offer input.

kookool, i just sent my email address

Thats not very fair SleepyJess. I know that there are small risks with all minor operations but i wouldn't even be considering it if it was a very dangerous uncommon thing. Lots or people have been circumsized and i have my own reasons for considering it.

This is an interesting 'link{http://www.circumstitions.com/Clean.html\website}

This is an interesting website

Sorry if I seem unfair Juicychops.. don't mean to offend.. I guess I am a little sensitive as my DS has had a fair few GAs in his short life so far.. and one of them provoked an unprecedented allergic reaction. Every time he has a GA now, he has the potential for this to happen again.

My DH is not circumcised and neither is my son and there are no plans to have either of them done! BUT imagine you are a man and you were circumcised since day 8 of your life, I would think that you cannot imagine being anything but circumcised and would want your sons to follow. Not so they look like the father but because you have got used to it and feel that culturally it is best for both the man and the wife. Studies show that there are lower rates of cervial cancer in Jewish community.

kookool, I work in the UK. I can't give you references, I'm afraid, but I doubt if you can provide good proof that healing is any better at this age, than, say at 3 or 4. As for pain, there is now acceptance in paediatric circles that neonates do feel as much pain as older children (and why shouldn't they, their nerve endings are just as developed as an older child's?), we just haven't been able to adequately measure it before. It is now standard practice on a neonatal unit to give analgesia prior to blood tests, for example. A few years ago, this was not thought necessary. And, just because a child cannot tell you that he remembers the pain, it does not mean that it did not happen.

FWIW, I have less of a problem with circs done for religious reasons, than those done for cosmetic ones. If indicated, a circumcision should be performed by a skilled practitioner, with a decent anaesthetic, local or general.

Chicpea, lower rates of cervical cancer are not necessarily due to circumcision. Celibate nuns don't get it- it's far more likely to be due to a lower risk of promiscuity in observant religious people.

There is no "cultural" reeason why circumcision should be better, surely? Believing that God told you to do it is a very good one, though.

My DS1 was circumcised when he was 3 due to foreskin being so tight he peed at a 90 degree angle. tbh it was horrendous, he bled profusely after and dr had to come out in the night and he was in agony for days after. He's 11 now and as none of his brothers (3 of them) have needed to be done he feels different and gets a bit self-conscious.

My nephew also needed doing and he had a really minor snip job which merely loosened the foreskin enough without having a full circ done. I would never have put my ds through a full circ if I had known that this could have been done as an alternative. Drs never told me there was any other option than the full op.

I don't agree in doing any kind of major surgery including circ to kids unless there is a medical necessity.

But can anyone explain why they think an operation involving pain and risk to their beloved child is better than a bit of soap and water later in life???? It makes NO sense. Foreskins aren't dirty! Please don't do this to your baby. He deserves better.

Please, I don't want to offend those who had to have their boys circumcised, but if you do want to do it, do it for the right reasons, not because you think penises are dirty.

My instant reaction is no, not unless medically required.
Infact I would go so far as to say I personally find it barbaric and as woman who has "lain" with both kinds of men, it makes no difference in the whole scheme of things. Hygiene/taste/smell whatever.

juicychops - please read Penelope Leach on this. You can get her book 'Your baby and Child' from the library or Amazon. You might cause your little one so much pain you'd be unable to comfort him.

Also bear in mind the showers at school. I knew a boy who was teased mercilessly for being circumcised (who wasn't Jewish btw - I think that would have been understood). It's not common in our society and at the end of the day your ds will be comparing his willy with his mate's, not his dad.

Should add that the boy I knew who was teased had been circumcised for 'cleanliness', not a medical reason.

read this

And if you still decide to go ahead, I can recommend a GP / mohel who is extremely experienced, kind and caring who works in London

Yes, my DS was circumcised as a young baby and No I do not regret it (and btw not that its anyone's business DH isn't)

hold on, so having a baby circumcised os wrong and causes an uproar on mumsnet. but when i asked if i should have a lump removed from my babies ear for purely cosmetic reasons, i didnt get this backlash.

good point misdee

Since you posted that link, can I ask why you had him circumcised?

I said my reaction is...
I would not judge someone for their choice, she asked for our opinion, should she or not?
AS for your dd Misdee, I have refrained from having my dd operated on for a cosmetic issue as I feel it is her choice later on not mine
but I would never judge you for choosing to have it done.And you are not having to done to be hygenic either
Penis as a cosmetic issue
oh please!

I thought the link was valid pupuce and easy to read

and I'm Jewish, though DH isn't. And whilst I am not bringing up my children to follow any particular religion, I want them to understand where they come from. I wanted DS to have the choice to follow my religion if he so chose and felt that circumcision would be a huge hurdle as a teenager / adult to overcome

For me the huge difference is, you don't want to remove a perfectly normal part of the body that everyone is born with because you think it is dirty (and isn't!!!!!). You are ONLY considering it to save your child from embarrassment and ridicule and you would prefer not to do it and not to have to do it. Unless you have a strong religious reason for circumcision or a strong medical one, I still think it is wrong. I really do. If you were planning to cut off part of your dd's perfectly normal ear because it might get earwax in it in later life, I would say the same.

Piffle .. actually I much prefer the 'look' of a circumcised penis

that was TMI wasn't it

Misdee,
Was the removal of the lump s/thing that would impair your child's quality of life and/or the function of his/her ear? B/c that's what circumcision can do to a male.

I'm American, and before I came here, I'd never been w/an uncircumcised man. To say sex is the same w/o it is . . . just dead wrong. It's genital mutilation and should be banned except for medical or religious reasons.

I don't understand how the West can condemn female circumcision as praticed in Africa but allow male circumcision to continue.