I'm feeling very anxious most of the time, it's really getting me down.

[DustyTV]

I didn't know where to post this, not sure if it is really a health topic!!

I have always been a worrier for as long as I can remember. But since I fell PG with DD my anxiousness seemed to get worse and worse. Then once I had had DD it seemed to hit an all time high.

Like today for example, DH has taken DD to see his parents. It is a short drive away, but along a short stretch of motorway and I am convinced that there will be an accident, I am sat here nearly in tears about this. I know it is stupid. Every time DD is without me I am convinced that she will come to harm (I think it's the not knowing)
The rational side of me knows that something can happen with or without me being with her. The rational side of me also knows that it is most likely that DD will come to no harm when with me or anyone else.

I have had mild OCD tendencies for as long as I can remember now, I had them under control, or so I thought. Since DD was born they have just spiraled out of control. No one knows about this, I have never told my parents or DH. I cannot tell them.

On top of this I am having trouble with my mum at the minute and it is getting to a point where I don't want to live round here any more to get away from her it is very sad because usually mum and I get on wonderful and have a really good relationship.

I feel like I need to talk to someone, but I cant bring myself to do it. My GP is about as much use a choc tea pot. I dare not go to my HV as I'm scared they will take DD away from me. I cant talk to DH I have tried but I just cant do it.

I have got so adept at hiding this from other people and myself that I sometimes think it is all in my head, but then something happens and it all flares up again.

I don't know what to do.

good isea muppet

Hi mg and LEM, that sounds like a really good idea mg, our very own thread about this.

mg, I do that with books too, the hight order thing, DH also says that I am quite 'anal' when it comes to a lot of stuff. I know it looks like that to outsiders but in my head I'm not being anal but ritual IYSWIM.

My GP phoned me back and said to try taking the meds for a couple of more days and if I still feel bad with with them to stop and make an appointment with her to try something else.

I really don't like these meds, will try again today but if I feel the same as yesterday I am not taking any more.

I felt really scared yesterday, I thought I was going to have a panic attack (I've only had very minor ones before) I thought I was going to pass out and DD would be all on her own until DH got back from work.

The meds left me 'out of it' for most of the day yesterday.

Dusty, how do you feel today after your meds? One of the things with the tablets i take is at the begining they can make some people feel worse. I don't know about beta blockers though.

Ive had a rubbish day today, everything seemed too much, but thats another thread

Hi LEM, I haven't taken them yet, my GP said I can take it at night before I go to bed, so I'm gonna do that and see how I am.

Why have you had a bad day? Do you want to talk about it?

Dusty, i hope you feel better today. I am having to leave mnet for a while, i need to focus on stuff around me and i am losing too much time sitting here trying to stare at my soul. Im sure you will feel better soon. Please feel free to CAT me to ket me know how you are getting on.

Oh LEM, I will be sorry to see you go, but needs must and all. I really hope you feel better soon.

Take care.
xxxx

How's things dusty?

Hi mg, things are okay....well kind of anyway.. Thanks for asking.
Not taking the meds, I tried for 3 days and I feel worse with them. I'm waiting for my next appointment to come round with the GP so I can discuss it with her.

How are things with you? Are you feeling well?

Yes all fine here, just rung up to amke a reservation in a restaurant for tonight, getting back to my old self more and more. Love the fact that dh doesn't push or huff when I say I can't do something -even if I said I would.

When's the counselling starting? How's the anxiety been?
x

sorry to intrude, can i join? I'll tell you my brief storey:

I've always been a worrier, started getting panick attacks in my teens but once i left school they went away. Since having ds they have returned with anxiety; mainly about my health (i'll get a head ache and start panicking i have a brain tumour etc), i daren't drink alchol as it will make me feel out of control and i have a phobia of being sick. Also i'm a little ocd too (under control tho).

I went to my dr back in march and he refered me to a council; i went for a booking in appointment and this woman said she was going to pass me on to a conuciler who will help me learn new ways of thinking/finding out why i think the way i do. I'm not on any meds; the dr did offer me some but i didnt want to take them (i have a phobia of taking medicine too - i always read the side effects). The lady i saw at concilling said she didnt think meds would benefit me at all in the long run and would just make me feel "out of it" for a bit.

Anyway thats it, still waiting for my appointment. SOme days i feel ok, other times i'm panicking all day. I do feel better now i've started work as i'm distracted, but i also feel guilty for leaving my ds and often feel like a bad mum, when i shouldnt because i'm not.

mg, good to hear you getting back to your old self

TBH the anxiety hasn't been that bad since I saw the GP and had it 'confirmed' that I am feeling this way IYSWIM. I kinda feel validated now and that has helped to calm me down a bit. I've had a couple of bad moments and nights haven't been too good. I have too much running around my head and I can't seem to switch off.

The counseling starts at the beginning of October. They had one for the first week in September but I cant get to that particular surgery, it's too far away from me and I don't drive and no buses to it. The one I'm going to has a bus directly going to it from top town bus station which is 5 minutes walk from my house.

My only problem now is that DH is working and I don't have anyone who can have DD so looks like I'm going to have to take her with me.

Hope you have a good meal tonight

Pinkyp, I can relate so much to your post, it's so hard sometimes isn't it. I know exactly how you feel with regards to not wanting to take the meds, I am the same, I didn't want any meds but my GP thought it would be a good idea.
Pinky stay on here with us, the ladies on here have given me so much support and good advice.

mg, shall we start that separate thread for us? Which board shall we start it on?

Hi Dusty/Pinkyp shall we start one in chat with the title

~~Worriers anonymous~~ -chat and support for anxious mnetters?

then anyone can come and join us if they feel like it?

I suffer from outbursts of anxiety and slight OCD too,i know how annoying it can be just worrying about the slightest thing but u cant get it out of ur head!
My mums gonna a trained hypnosis so shes gonna try this on me see how it goes,ill let u know!

Great idea mg, I'll look out for it.

Clarebear, let us know how the hypnosis goes.

Hi DustyTV

Have read most of this thread but not all so apologies if I'm repeating something someone else has suggested.

I have been to counselling for my woes (which are similar to yours!) I wouldnt take DS to zoo for months because I was genuinely convinced he would be eaten by a tiger! I'm clearly getting better because as I read that back I can see how utterly ridiculous it sounds.

Anyway I think a self-help book could be a good idea as it is a reference that you always have with you. I'm trying 'Cognitive behaviour therapy for dummies" at the moment (not that I'm suggesting your'e a dummy ) and finding it pretty good. Got it off Amazon.

Hi puppie, thanks for posting .
That is a good idea, I am currently reading psychology for dummies as I start a OU psychology course next month. I like the 'for dummies' books.

I cant remember if I have posted this on here but when the circus came to town and it was an animal circus with lions and tigers etc. I wouldn't open the back door to let the dogs out as I was convinced that the lions and tigers would escape from the circus and come in my back door

I know this is ridiculous and extremely unlikely to happen but I still couldn't get the thought out of my head.

hi guys the thread is here for us all to meet and chat x