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Original poster

DH's health - now I am quite worried

19 replies

aleene · 15/07/2008 11:20

This morning I found what appeared to be vom in downstairs loo but it was a really funny colour. very dark. I asked DH if he had been sick last night and he seemed a bit confused at first, said no then said yes but he felt fine now. He is a really heavy smoker and drinker, I have posted before about him hiding his drinking so I am already worried on that front. He is 38 btw but smoking and drinking for over 20 years, heavily. So now I am thinking that this 'development' could be something sinister, is it a sign of organ damage? I know this sounds a bit overdramatic...what do you think?

OP posts:
SmallShips · 15/07/2008 11:25

I think you need to get him to a doctor, even if nothing is wrong, he needs to address his drinking and smoking.

MummyDoIt · 15/07/2008 11:27

What sort of colour? Dark as in old blood colour or could it just be because of what he'd been eating? If there's any chance the colour could be caused by blood, get him to the doctor to be checked out.

Aniyan · 15/07/2008 11:31

If he's a wine drinker it could be red-wine vomit which can look very odd and scary - but whatever it is, it sounds like he needs help.

Original poster
aleene · 15/07/2008 11:32

I think it will be tough to get him to a doctor but I will try. we definitely need to talk about the future. his dad was the same and has really limited health now.

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cmotdibbler · 15/07/2008 16:22

Did it look a bit like coffee grounds ? If so, he really needs to see a doctor. He needs to be aware that drinking that heavily could seriously shorten his life. A guy from work died very suddenly two years ago at the age of 40 due to his drinking causing him to bleed massively in his stomach.

RubyRioja · 15/07/2008 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
aleene · 16/07/2008 15:24

Wow, yes it did look a bit like that. I tried to talk to him last night about it, he refused to see a doctor and says there is nothing to worry about. he is taking the "we'll worry about it when it happens" approach although imo that is too late. also he made it clear that he thinks life would be no fun without smoking and drinking...thus I am out to spoil his fun.

I am taking it that if it is serious then it will not be a one off and so I need to keep an eye out for what happens next.
Anyone know if the bleeding in stomach and an ulcer are the same thing or different?

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MummyDoIt · 16/07/2008 18:09

Please tell you DH about my DH. He had indigestion for years and refused to see a doctor. He had the same approach as your DH, "we'll worry about it when it happens". When my Dad was diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus five years ago, I Googled the condition and was worried to find that long-term acid reflux could be a risk factor in cancer of the oesophagus and I begged DH to visit the doctor. We had many rows about it and he refused to go. Two years ago, he started to have difficulty in swallowing and lost a lot of weight. Still he kept putting it off. In the end, I made the appointment for him when he was on holiday from work. It turned out he had cancer of the oesophagus too. Unfortunately, it had already spread to his liver so cannot be cured. He's had chemo and radiotherapy to prolong his life but we're coming to the end of options and his life expectancy is limited. My two boys, age 5 and 4, face losing their Dad in the next few years, possibly months, and I will be a widow in my forties. My DH played Russian Roulette with his health and lost. Please show your DH this post and insist that he gets himself checked out. My DH is dying for the sake of a 20 minute appointment with the doctor. Don't let yours make the same mistake.

To answer your question, ulcers can cause bleeding in the stomach but there can be other causes (not wanting to scare you, but cancer is one of them). Good luck with making him see sense.

Ozziegirly · 17/07/2008 03:30

Oh my god, what an absolutely awful story, I am so sorry to hear about your husband, that really is just so terrible.

But if your situation can help one person go to the Dr then it will not have been in vain.

I speak from experience as my grandma died this morning after a year long battle with cancer and if she had gone to the Dr earlier they think they would have been able to treat it. It's different as she was very old, but still, she could have possibly lived to see her first great grandchild.

cmotdibbler · 17/07/2008 08:24

Bleeding in chronic drinkers is usually due to oesophagael varices, which are related to liver disease. They are a bit like varicose veins.

Does he really not want to be around for his kids ? I've seen what chronic drinking and smoking does to people, and it can very definatly make life very very unfun.

How much do you think he drinks ?

MummyDoIt · 17/07/2008 09:10

Ozziegirly - so sorry to hear about your grandma. Our is a very sad story but I'm making it my mission to tell it to people in the hope that I can persuade at least one stubborn man to visit his doctor and get any health problems sorted out.

Blandmum · 17/07/2008 09:14

Mummydoit, that was a brave, brave post.

Hugs to you.

How is dh, btw? If I can help in any way, cat me

MummyDoIt · 17/07/2008 09:36

MB, DH isn't too bad at the moment. Just finished four cycles of chemo and waiting for a scan to see if it's worth doing any more. His main problem at the moment is blood clots in his leg which make him pretty immobile so he's not getting out much. Just booked a week's holiday, though, so something to look forward to!

Blandmum · 17/07/2008 10:21

Do you have access to a wheelchair? Dh needed one, and the Mac nurse got us one. It made all the difference to our last holiday, otherwise we'd all have been stuck in the windmill for a week!

MummyDoIt · 17/07/2008 11:06

We'll either hire one there or borrow MIL's (she lives close to where we're staying). DH is really stubborn and doesn't want to use one but I don't think he'll manage without. We went to the Grand Prix at Silverstone and he was adamant he could walk but I got a wheelchair anyway and, sure enough, he was in it within two minutes. We will definitely get one for the holiday otherwise he won't be able to get about much at all. We're staying at a Hoseasons park as I thought that would give plenty of on-site entertainment for me and the boys if DH needs to rest but we'll go off on day trips when he's up to it. Can't wait !

Original poster
aleene · 17/07/2008 14:49

Ozziegirly - so sorry to hear about your Grandma.

MummyDoIt - so, so sorry that this has happened to your DH and to your family. You sound very brave and I wish you strength for times ahead.

Cmotdibbler - I can't be sure but I've seen him drink a whole bottle of wine - on an empty stomach - and not even be the slightest bit drunk. Surely that is a bad sign that he can take that much alcohol and not be tipsy. He is in the pub trade btw just to make matters worse as he can drink at work, and he is at work alot. He always buys wine for the meals he is here for too. He never used to drink at home at all, now it is every day.

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Blandmum · 17/07/2008 14:56

We did something very similar in Feb, stayed in a place with an advernture playground for the kids and an indoor pool, so it was easy for me to entertain the kids while dh rested.

and he was well enough to go for gentle walks in the mornings

herbietea · 17/07/2008 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
aleene · 17/07/2008 18:13

Thank you herbietea, I will try to persuade him again. Your poor DS, that must have been awful for him.

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