weight gain in 40s

[LaylaSun77]

I posted this in general health as not sure where else it fits.

I have put on a lot of weight in the past couple of years. I am 43. I spent my whole adult life as a size 8. i made some (minimal) effort to keep fit in my 20s and 30s- this might have been a weekly spin class when the summer time was approaching but it wasnt a long term thing. I would have taken notions for walking at lunch sometimes to get my steps up or done park runs every once in a while. I've never been a sporty person so this always seemed a lot of effort. i never really had to try too hard or do anything extreme to maintain a good figure and was always really slim.

in recent years i have put on a couple of stone. I have gone up 2 dress sizes (i am now a size 12) some of this is down to wfh in my current job and i just cant seem to find time or motivation for fitness classes anymore (i have a very busy and stressful life at present, my dh has a chronic illness, my ex husband continues to behave abusively and we have been involved in prolonged litigation in the family court). all of this takes its toll and i have been taking anti depressants for the past year or two. I have been over eating sometimes when stressed which i know is very bad for me- sometimes i will just sit down at night and eat 2 or 3 or even 4 bits of toast/ biscuits and then i feel really guilty about it.

Sometimes I think I have something like PMDD as i have been very emotional and overwhelmed but I have gone to the doctor and they haven't been a lot of help other than prescribing anti depressants.

i suppose i am wondering has anyone experienced anything like this and have they been able to get their shape back? I desperately want to be slim again and feel like myself and also have the energy to exercise. no judgement please, i know that i am not helping myself by not exercising and over eating but as I say I am struggling to keep things together right now due to a highly stressful life. 3 children, professional job, difficult ex etc as explained above. Maybe this is a natural part of aging? Although all of my friends seem to be really slim, mind you a lot of them work out or go running to maintain this.

Also i realise that size 12 is a very normal size- its not so much the size that bothers me- its that i have a very small frame and a lot of my weight is around my tummy and arms. I just dont feel good about it and really would love to be slim again. none of my clothes fit and ofcourse i just buy size 12 clothes but i dont want this to keep continuing and be constantly gaining weight. I know i need to deal with it but just cant seem to be able to. I tried to do slimming world for a while, lost a stone, but then just put it back on again when couldn't maintain the cooking from scratch etc in current lifestyle.

I feel your pain. You have to decide whether you want to tackle it or not - it’s about whether you want to make it a priority as you have a lot of other pressing issues in your life that you’ll need to deprioritise to make this a priority. Which isn’t easy midlife. You can start with small things like not snacking or meal planning or go big bang and incorporate exercise and calorie reduction. Some find once they start exercising it motivates them more - for some people it does nothing!

I found running by myself, not in a class solved it for me. Early in the morning in the cool.

I had a break, mentally from all the hassle and once I got going, being able to focus on my run meant I wasn't thinking about anything really, more like putting my brain into neutral.

I hadn't exercised much since school so it took me a year to work up to running 5k, but I've kept it up, run twice a week, and am a size 10/12 in my 60s. I'm 5'8" so that's ideal for me.

I found that, no matter what anyone else says or does, I have to reduce calories drastically to lose weight. Joan Collins says you need half the calories at 50 as you did at 25 and half again at 70. Do the math and you'll see that we need a lot less calories than what we're told and it seems everyone knows except for us!

I am the exact same op even to the point of where the weight goes although I was always a ten, now 14. About three years ago I lost the weight through a physical job, not eating after 8 at night and hugely cutting carbs (down to only a sandwich or only a bowl of cereal whereas I was out of control with croissants, cake, cereal, pure constant comfort food because like you, I have kids and worries).

I would say aside from speaking to your gp and looking at perimenopause as a possible contributor, find an enjoyable class to do for the emotional side of things- just one class that you’ve always wanted you to do to remind you life can be enjoyable. It’s so hard to find time but it gets you out and gets you taking a breath again. It got me back reading and taking the kids out for walks/ hikes again too. I started swimming class that sadly now doesn’t suit but I have an art class coming up (have never done art in my life but I can’t wait!)

Joan Collins 😂😂😂

It's the SSRI's for sure. I gained six kilos on Lexapro despite running 5 km every day and barely eating. You can ask your GP about it but I would say that is the main cause.

Well, I'd rather take her honest advice than someone else who cloaks their eating disorders under the guise of 'moderation' or lies about GLP etc. I'm not saying she's a role model but she's not obese or giving advice she doesn't follow!

That escalated

😁

Thank you ❤️

Thank you. That’s really interesting. I will do that.

Thank you. Enjoy your art class 🖼️ 😌

Thank you. That’s really interesting, good advice.

Wow, that’s amazing. Go you. Never been a runner but my friend is in a running club and asked me along. My problem is right now I have very little spare time. I like that you do it on your own when it suits you. Something for me to think about, thank you.

No worries, I think they can give you an adjunct called Wellbutrin which takes off the weight gain or change to more weight neutral SSRI if the GP thinks it's contributing.

I agree with this. Over the years I have tried all sorts of diets but calorie counting is the only one that consistently works and sadly I need about 1/3 fewer calories in my 50s than I did in my 20s.

Not sure why people are laughing at the example of Dame Joan Collins - she's had a hugely successful life, kept a slim figure, lovely skin and she's in her 90s now - we are too ready to sneer at successful women in my opinion.

Yeah I agree too. I can literally stay the same weight on 1200 calories. I'm 5'6 and 8.5 stone and no one believes me. But it's true. I think most people need less calories than all the calculators etc tell us.