Not sure where to put this but hopefully someone can help me anyway.
My 80-year-old stepdad has stage 4 cancer and has got to the stage where he's no longer mobile. Mum has adapted the dining room downstairs for him and he has a hospital bed there but there is no toilet/shower downstairs that he can access. He has a commode and tbh can't really get onto that himself without help. Mum is 79 and cannot do his intimate care or lift him if he falls (he is very overweight). He's just come back out of hospital after the last fall and is currently getting carers three times a day, so that's working out well and has temporarily taken the pressure off Mum, but it's only for 6 weeks (not entirely sure why) and then they'll hand back over to Mum (who gets a carer's allowance).
Obviously this isn't going to work so no idea why the NHS/council are pretending it will. Care will need to be arranged on a more permanent basis. My question is: what help are my parents entitled to? They have savings of more than £20K (I don't know exactly what they've got as they've always been very cagey about money but they're not poor). My stepdad will however be very reluctant to spend any of that as he's worried about how my mum will manage when he's gone. I think they'll probably need to fork out for at least twice-daily private care visits but need to go to them armed with information! I live 200 miles away with my kids so can't do much in terms of physically helping myself (not that they'd want me to anyway). If anyone can advise on what help they're entitled to in this situation, I'd be really grateful.