Jolting awake feeling unable to breathe and anxiety about sleep

[DoorPurple]

Hi everyone,
I’m (F 45) looking for some advice because I’m honestly a bit lost with my sleep at the moment.
I’ve always had issues with sleep. I also had pretty bad panic attacks decades ago ( left arm going numb, feeling like I was dying, sense of impending doom, etc.). That’s been behind me for a very long time, but I mention it for context. I’ve also always had some fear of death and, I think, of what falling asleep represents, letting go, losing control.

For the past few months, my sleep has become much harder to manage. I’ll have phases where I sleep perfectly well and then phases where I really struggle. Usually, a few days of over-the-counter sleeping tablets helps reset things and then I stop. But this current phase has been going on for about six weeks and the tablets aren’t really helping anymore.

Either I start falling asleep and suddenly wake up with a jolt, feeling like I’m choking or can’t breathe, or I wake up because my left arm is completely numb. My brain then immediately goes to “heart attack”, and I’m fully awake again. I spoke to my GP because I wondered about sleep apnoea, but after a questionnaire she didn’t think that was it.

For context, my life is generally going well. I exercise 3–4 times a week and I’m pretty active. There are some stressful things in the background – quite a lot of uncertainty at work and some upcoming changes in our family life.

Last night, for example, I went to bed at 9pm and listened to an incredibly boring sleep podcast for three hours. At 12.30am I eventually took a sleeping tablet because I work, I have kids and I need to function. My DP is incredibly supportive and practically tucks me in, but I just can’t seem to get out of this cycle.

Has anyone experienced anything similar, particularly the jolting awake/choking sensation or the numb arm triggering anxiety? What actually helped you get back to sleeping normally?

Thank you

The jolting awake unable to breathe sounds like sleep apnoea.
Please see your doctor.

She’s already been to her GP! Sounds like they did an epworth score for sleepiness. It sounds to me like a longstanding disordered sleep pattern probably with an overlay of good old peri anxiety. If there are any clinics locally covering insomnia it’s worth asking for a referral and detailed sleep study. I think Newcastle have a service that would fit.

have you had cbt? That’s first line treatment now https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/insomnia/

Thanks everyone.
I've reached out to my gp again....

At the peak of my anxiety in the past, I’ve tried CBT (for flying), acupuncture, hypnosis and magnesium at different times, with varying degrees of success (CBT didn't nothing at all but it was for my fear of flying - recognising it's 100% linked to my general anxiety).

I’m starting to feel really exhausted and everything feels a bit blurry.

I’m based in London. Do you think it’s worth looking into private clinics as well, or would you recommend going through my GP first? I'd rather not pay for a private clinic but at the same time...I just want to sleep

Unfortunately GPs make mistakes.
They are not specialists.
My cousin died from a related issue to untreated sleep apnoea.

I'm really sorry 😞

I have something similar with the choking when falling asleep - it almost feels like i'm stopping breathing and I have to gasp to breath. Really freaked me out. I was tested for sleep apnea which I dont have. It turned out to be acid reflux/GERD - something called a laryngospasm. Try taking omeprozole before bed one night and see if it helps.
If not, like others say its worth having a sleep test for apnea

Oh thanks! So when I go to bed and lay down, I sometimes have a feeling of a thick liquid in my throat. Is it what you had?

This was one of my first perimenopause symptoms

I have this sometimes w my GERD. I def don’t have sleep apnea. I sleep pretty well and always refreshed in the morning.

Do you feel tired in the mornings?
Have a headache?

Think you need to get tested for sleep apnea
Regardless of the questionaire
And also a set of bloods.
Gerd could be possible as well

Yes I get the jolting awake/not breathing. It comes and goes, at its worst it was hundreds of times a night. I believe it’s connected to peri menopause for me.
I tried CBD oil and it improved and now it’s pretty much gone. I sleep well at the moment with no issues, haven’t taken CBD for quite a while. I do have some melatonin I bought in Spain and if I start to get symptoms I take one and it helps me to drift off (likely some placebo effect in both the CBD and melatonin I suspect).
My next stop was HRT.

I'll give it a try ! Thanks so much 🙏

@DoorPurple I get this and it is LRP. I also think you have got to the stage of obsessing over sleep (understandably) and whenever I start worrying about how much sleep I am getting i cant sleep!

I would suggest:

1. Take some gaviscon advance before bed to prevent reflux (it has to be gaviscon ADVANCE)

1. Buy an eye mask with built in blue tooth speakers (loads on Amazon)

1. Before bed or when you wake up in the night listen to sleep hypnosis with the Bluetooth eye mask. There are loads on YouTube so you can find one that suits you. Make sure it runs for at least 3 hours with no ads. I like Tansy Forrest but there are lots out there. It stops your inner dialogue. I used this one this morning and was asleep in minutes

Sorry LPR!

Oh, thanks so much!! I’ll pop it in my Amazon basket now.
What’s slightly concerning is that Mumsnet seems to offer more useful insights than my GP… who I also consulted separately about reflux! 😅

When this happens to me it's usually down to asthma.

Second the reflux line of inquiry.
recommend also exploring HRT, even if just peri

Hope it’s reflux because there’s lots of things to try for it. I bought dp a wedge to go under the mattress so he’s slightly propped up, and another vote for trying Gaviscon Advance last thing at night.

the jolting awake with constricted throat is def an anxiety symptom not apnoea

It could be a blood sugar issue . If your blood sugar drops too low overnight you will release adrenaline and cortisol to compensate which can jolt you awake and cause anxiety. High blood sugar can also disturb your sleep, but if you are waking with a numb left arm you should probably have a ECG. Doesn’t sound like your GP has done enough to determine the cause. When this happens again call 111 and see what they say, they may send a paramedic to check you over. Something similar happened to me recently. They were very thorough, gave me a ECG on my sofa, advised me to go A&E for further tests, as they said A&E can do more detailed blood tests than your GP . I am ok but have a few things to follow up with my GP. Could also be acid reflux/GERD causing coughing or a choking sensation. You may have more than one thing going on. Good luck.

I get the dead arm problem too. Sorry, but I don’t have a cure for it, sadly. But you’re not alone, if that helps? It’s usually my left arm. I’m 58 now and I don’t really remember exactly when it started, but it started with my little finger being numb and then seemed to
progress along my hands. For many years I bought myself a good quality, new, support pillow each year, like Tempur, which really helped and I could tell when I needed to replace the pillow as the numb fingers would begin to return. I felt it had something to do with my neck and alignment.

Since Covid it has changed and now I wake screaming as I think I’m having a heart attack and about to die. I can’t seem to rationalise myself out of it. It’s nowhere near as regular as the numb fingers was when that first started but it probably happens once every 2 weeks.

Generally menopause has played havoc with my sleep for years. HRT has helped with that enormously. One thing that does help is a sleep app on my watch, Garmin, which tracks my sleep really well. It’s not a cure but it does show me and reassure me that I am getting some sleep, and takes away the anxiety that I’m not sleeping.