Handhold if anyone’s around? Scan yesterday at 5pm, GP called this morning

[GiveOverWillYou]

Wondering if anyone has any experience/insights?
Late 40s, on HRT. Cycle usually still rock solid, horrendously heavy, except for last few (2-3) months - spotting, random bleeds, periods when not due. Bit of pelvic discomfort.
Went to GP, but kind of hoped assumed it was the beginning of the end of periods and just the timing going haywire/and to find out how I should be taking progesterone as had previously been on that Day 15-28 and cycle being out of whack meant that that regime was going to be hard to do. GP said she could feel something on the left hand side. Recent CA125 was fine, recent smear was clear ‘but cervix is very red’. My cervix has always defied medical science (that’s another story) so wasn’t unduly worried. They upped progesterone to 200mg daily, put me on the 2 week wait for internal/external US. It’s been 5 weeks 😬but I had the US last night after 5 o’clock. Sonographer was rummaging around for ages (over 30 mins) and made a point of saying the GP will be in touch, but if they aren’t, you must contact them. I know they usually can’t/don’t say much. Told myself that it was good that the tests have been done and that I’d hear in due course, not to worry in the meantime. Then this morning I have had 3 calls from the GP before 10am, which I missed as was in a work meeting with phone off. I called them back and they asked me to come in at noon. So now of course I am absolutely shitting myself, and have self-diagnosed with every gynae cancer going.
Don’t know what I’m asking for really, other than a handhold, and if anyone has had similar happen and it turned out to be something that wasn’t nefarious. I feel lucky that at least I find out what’s going on this morning but the speed at which they’ve followed up is terrifying me 😧Speculation of course, but I can’t help but feel that if this was, I dunno, fibroids, there wouldn’t be this level of urgency this morning

Thinking of you OP

Hey, I didn't want to read and run. I hope your appointment went well.

Hi everyone

Thank you for all the handholds, and good wishes. They really bouyed me up while I was waiting to be seen.

It didn’t go well.

Before I’d even sat down the GP said, ‘Yes it’s bad news, I’m afraid they’ve found something’ What Not To Say 101’

She then proceeded to say read the ultrasound notes out loud, including the ‘cancer alert’ warning at the bottom, but not actually tell me what was going on.

There was a pink box on her screen saying ‘Suspected Cancer’, which she kept pointing to whilst saying, ‘so I’ll refer you today and you’ll be seen soon, it’ll probably be an MRI and they’ll probably ‘take it all out’ (no explanation of any of that)

It was like role reversal of what should have happened: she kept gibbering and going on about how well I was ‘taking it’ whilst I sat there in shock trying to work out what we did and didn’t definitively know.

The upshot is it’s a mass the size of large grapefruit. They don’t know if it’s uterine or ovarian because it’s obscuring the ovary entirely. They don’t think it’s a fibroid.

She sent me off with a form for more bloods (new CA125 test). I got in the car and lost my shit, then drove to a place that’s special to me, and cried on a bench for a while.

So I went off to hospital for the bloods; DH appeared at the hospital and got told to fuck off short shrift for not offering to come with me even though I said it sounded bad. I must have looked dreadful as the phlebotomist asked if I wanted a hug, cue more crying. Went to the nearest nice pub and had a large brandy, bollocked DH some more, updated him on what I knew (and didn’t know)

Needless to say I have fed the entire US report through ChatGpt.

And now I’m sitting on the side of the bath with a massive glass of wine waiting to get in, then I’m going downstairs to watch crap telly.

Feel strangely calm now, probably as the shock is wearing off a bit, and because they are taking it seriously, and because as so many of you have said, it might not actually be anything awful in the end. And even if it is, it would most likely be treatable. It sounds like it could be something like you had @fudgesmummy

The absolute best thing about what has otherwise been a truly shitty day has been the generosity and kindness of you all, perfect strangers on the internet, who have taken time out of busy lives today to offer handholds, good wishes, advice, experience and support. Thank you all so much ❤️

Thinking of you @TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne whilst we are both in this boat ❤️

@GiveOverWillYou gosh, so sorry to hear, what an awful day for you.
Hope it turns out to be something simple and easy to deal with - sending you lots of love and healing vibes x

@GiveOverWillYou I'm sorry it turned out as your feared. I hope you get someone to give you some clarity. We'll be thinking of you.

Oh you poor thing.
Please get some rest, all this shock must have you feeling so weary.
Be kind to yourself, we're all here with you.

Sending you a warm holding hand and hoping that it , whatever it may be, turns out to be benign.

So sorry that it's not been the news you were hoping for and that it has been communicated so badly.

Good luck. I said a prayer for you but please ignore if that's not your thing.

What a nightmare day. Sending you so much love ❤️

It doesn’t necessarily mean it’s cancer. Ovarian cysts can get way out of control and it’s very common. I had one removed that was 20cm x 20cm. It did take my ovary with it but it wasn’t cancer and that was over 20 years ago now. I’ve had children since and no further issues. My fingers are all crossed for you that this is not bad news.

I’m so sorry you didn’t get a good result. Hopefully you’ll get the MRI fast so you can get the plan of action. Big ((((hugs))))

What a shock for you. That must be terrifying. I really hope that whatever it is turns out to be something that isn't serious and that is easily treatable.

@GiveOverWillYou sending hugs and very large drinks x

Thinking of you , and I know how terrible you feel when you get news like this.
In a few days you will get angry and you will get a plan and all the support you need from hospital, and know what the next step is.
Big hugs 💪💪💪

Im so sorry OP, I know it’s scary but I’ve heard so many positive stories of cancers being removed or treated and the person making a full recovery so please try and focus on that 🤍
I myself was diagnosed with leukaemia 8 years ago at the age of 21 and I’m still here ☺️ sending you so much love and positivity your way xxx

Oh OP, sending love and strength, hope you’re on the road to recovery very soon

Keep coming back if you need more hand holding

Drink the wine! ..and then some more. I am sorry GP wasn't better to be honest. It sounds like they are 'on it' though. So I hope you get the bloods and MRI very quickly! The waiting is bloody awful. Am continuing with positive thoughts. And you know where we are!

I'm so sorry to hear this. You must be so scared ❤️
Hopefully they can operate soon and give you a better prognosis.

What a traumatic day for you, I hope you manage to get some rest tonight, you must be exhausted, I hope you get your next appointment quickly xxx

I hope it's nothing sinister. I had a US for really sudden heavy bleeding. The snographer asked if I had problems with going to the loo which made me think they had seen bowel growths. The GP phoned me the next day saying it was various growths. Then the sum of nothing happened. I had the report that said "no abnormalities detected" or some sort. So I'm either riddled with cancer or totally fine. All very weird.

Gp doesn't know what your growth is right now. So try to keep hold of that positive possibility.

Thanks for updating @GiveOverWillYou. Like lots of others on here I was thinking of you this afternoon.

It sounds very scary but hopefully it’s nothing sinister and by the sounds of things you are being seen pretty quickly.

Thinking of you OP ♥️

Hopefully all is well and whatever they found is easily dealt with and not as bad as you think. … Ive had odd bleeds a few times on HRT and it’s been caused by polyps which were removed quickly and all good but it’s a scary time waiting for results.
Sounds like you might not have been using your HRT quite as intended if you were counting your bleeds to take the progesterone. Once you start HRT you are creating a new false cycle so you aren’t meant to count any bleeds for cycle days. Once you start the oestrogen that is cycle day 1, the progesterone starts on day 15 after that and you keep going regardless of bleeds. The pattern is always 2 weeks oestrogen only, 2 weeks both hormones and repeat for the sequential HRT.

I don’t think you will know till further tests tbh a cancer alert does not mean it’s cancer. As others have said ovarian cysts and fibroids very common. Good luck for the MRI.