My 91 yo nana is in hospital

[KatyMac]

She has pneumonia & they are going to give her A/B's and fluids - they have put in a drip & a cathater - poor old thing

But she probably won't last much longer

She has Altzheimer's (sp?), weights less than 4 stone, hasn't eaten a meal in about 3 months, she has practically lost her swallow reflex

How much longer can this go on?

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I'm feeling fairly crap about it tbh - she has barely recognised anyone for more than 6 months & she has a really crap life

She keeps trying to pull out her drip and she removes her mask all the time

I'm really sorry to hear about your Nana, KatyMac. You will probably find that things will go one of two ways while she is in hospital. She'll either improve a lot if she responds to treatment and is well looked after, particularly nutritionally. Or, she'll find peace and slip away fairly quickly. It's hard to tell until she's been having treatment for a few days. If she is going to respond well you will most likely notice improvement fairly soon. Sadly, her weight and lack of swallow reflex are indications that she is near the end of her Altzheimers. It's impossible to know how much longer you all have to endure this truly evil illness. I've looked after many people in hospital in the same situation as your Grandmother and still wouldn't like to give you an idea. I never fail to be amazed by how slowly or quickly people heal.

IS there a good nurse looking after her who could sit and have a chat with you? Are there any other family members around who can support you, even if it is just to chat and reminisce about your Nana in days gone by?

Love and prayers,

Swaliswan x

I am so sorry to hear this.

Has your Nana had enough?

Can you go and see her? Say all the things you wouldn't want to leave unsaid. Even if you don't think she can understand it may help you after she has passed away.

I said goodbye before Christmas when they said she had days left I haven't been to see her since then (with full family support)

But today when she went in I was the only one answering the phone - my dad & uncles were all unobtainable - so I spent 4hrs at the hospital until they all arrived

They aren't going to feed her but they are going to carry on with the drip

That just seems so wrong

If you and your family are certain she has had enough you can ask the hospital to stop active treatment. She can be kept comfortable. pain killers if she is distressed, kept clean, dry and warm and can be given a dignified death.
a lot of the time antibiotics are given for a couple of days to see if a patient will respond enough to start eating and drinking again. Sometimes you have to be strong and make the decision not to fight any more.
for you but death can be a positive experience if dealt with appropriately.

The hospital have taken away the a-b's & the fluid at last some sanity

wishing her and you some peace

Taking away fluid seems awfully cruel??

no actually - IV fluid is completely uneccessary one a person is actively dying. They are not aware of dehydrating and having to put in cannulas and check blood results is more cruel.

Oh, right.

She kept pulling the canula (if that is the thing in her arm) out and then they took it out

She looked much more peaceful tonite - she is having morphine

I had arranged no treatment when I was called in yesterday but when my uncle got there he made a fuss - so everything started

Then when my dad got there he insisted that we went back to no treatment again but they had started so they had to do overnight with it all

This morning they agreed to stop it all & give her morphine

I am so sorry to hear that. My Gran was in the same situation in March and once they decided to give her morphine and keep her comfortable she passed away within two days.

I hope that she gets some peace soon though it will be hard for you. Thinking of you and your family x

How are you feeling today Katy?

KM I am so sorry for you. My Grandpa is in the same situation and hasnt got long to go. How are you coping? I know its almost worse waiting for someone to pass. I hope it is peaceful for her and that your family gets comfort from that. xxx

I'm sorry but I feel very angry at this - it is downright cruel

I am hoping that those caring for your grandmother are asking whether SHE would have wanted active treatment (ABS, iv fluids), not whether her family want it. The decision should always be the former, not the latter.

I'm not surprised you are angry, so would I be if this were a relative of mine or a patient in my care- sadly I have seen it happen far too often.

I hope she is as peaceful and as comfortable as possible. Take care of yourself too.

She wouldn't - she refused care for her husband about 5 or so years ago

He pulled his arm thing out & the nurse tried to put it back in saying it will make him better he said he didn't want to get better & threw it across the room & nana made them leave him alone

I felt the same with my Gran Katy, have you seen her since they started the morphine? You may get some peace from seeing her when she is not suffering so much.

The waiting, knowing my Gran was suffering was terrible. Of course it is still a shock when it happens but I felt relieved that she wasn't suffering any more.

Thinking of you and wishing your Nana peace.

hope you are o.k katy. it is so hard, i hope you and your nana get some peace soon

How sad.

Maybe its worth discussing her wishes with the rest of your family??

So sorry to hear of all this, Katymac. It is so tough, so horrible. I'm glad that she is looking more peaceful tonight.

Katy - I'm so sorry. If you need any help with DD or anything let me know. Hope your parents are OK.

Thanks everyone

I'm just waiting for the phone call tbh