Obese and unhappy… where do I start?

[RonaRhondda]

I’m morbidly obese, size 26ish, over 20 stone. I have always been obese even as a teenager (possibly overweight at times but a rarity). It’s over taken my life and after a breakdown in 2022 my weight has rocketed and now I’m out of control with eating, find walking long distances difficult, can’t fit in some chairs easily and most importantly hate the way I look. Like it’s a surprise to me how awful I look when I see photos. I worked hard to love myself a few years ago and very much accepted how I looked even though I was obese (less so than now) probably because I was still quite active and strong. Now I feel weak, out of breath and lack energy and mental clarity. I feel so addicted to food I find it hard to start a diet and so tired all the time I haven’t yet gone to the gym even though I wanted to start going this summer before the kids woke up.

Where do I start?

Im tempted to just get on mounjaro or something to get me going and hope I can get in to a better routine from there but worried I will somehow sabotage myself and it’s so expensive I don’t know if I can afford it.

Thank you if you’ve read this far feeling really low and the negative self talk is consuming at the moment

Brilliant! Sounds like you are really on top of this!

a lot of what we do is swaps, fat free yoghurt instead of sour cream, 3% mince instead of 10%, that sort of thing. I make a really good chilli in the pressure cooker which is full of beans and veggies, I freeze it in portions and we have it with jacket potatoes once a week. It’s basically fat free and full of fibre and protein.

I eat my meals off a smaller plate, this helps me reduce my portion sizes. Dinner plates can be huge these days! Lean proteins, loads of veg and small amounts of carbs works for lots of meals. Two chubby cubs have some great recipes, I find lots of meal ideas on TikTok and book mark them. Jamie Oliver has started a new healthy meals show and they’ve had some nice recipes.

a treat dinner we have is steak, salad and home made chips in the airfryer with grilled tomatoes. Homemade chips I cut them into chips, boil them briefly, chuck them in the air fryer to dry off for a few minutes, then spray with oil and some seasonings and cook until crispy. Sweet potatoes are brilliant as wedges or instead of a jacket, great with chilli.

salmon, rice and edamame beans with soy and ginger is delicious, I just mix soy sauce, a tiny bit of honey, ginger paste and coat the salmon in it and grill it and then serve with green veg and rice. I use lots of frozen veg so have it with broccoli, edamame and peas.

we also do chicken skewers with various herbs and spices, served with cous cous and roasted veg.

breakfasts I eat a lot of Greek yoghurt with frozen berries and a sprinkle of granola.

baked eggs like shakshouka is delicious or omelettes, great with cooked shredded chicken in and some veggies.

I just went to the gym!

only 20 minutes on the treadmill at a slight incline but I’m proud I went and now I know I’m able to do it. Starting small

goal for today is to buy a weighing scales and get my husband to help take some
measurements as a starting point. I’m thinking just weight and waist.

Thank you again for all the advice and giving me the confidence to just start. I have been thinking of starting this journey many many many times but wasn’t in the frame of mind to carry through with it.

I have started on weight loss injections and was skeptical to be honest. The first week was like a whole change as the food noise just disappears. I am nearly two months in now and don’t snack, eat much smaller portions. It has felt like a total change to life where I don’t feel i am always planning food. Thinking about it. Etc. very liberating and am now overweight not obese.

@RonaRhonddawell done! There is no thing as too little exercise aside from none! Did you get some lovely endorphins from it?

small, sustainable steps and definitely get those baselines. You’ll be amazed how you can reshape yourself with gradual, sustained progress.

Go you!!

finally bought a scale. Here’s my official start weight

285lbs / 20st 5lbs / 129.5kg

my goal is 200lbs. I’d be really proud of myself to get back there.

I started back at work after 2 weeks off with the kids. I was worried about it and being hungry and getting back in to old habits. I was so hungry at the end of the work day. Still kept to 1600 Calories though but I’m still hungry now! My stomach is gurgling.

do I eat something (but keep it nutritious - I have a chicken veg stew on the stove at the moment which is due to go in the freezer for a later day) or do I stick to my calories for the day? Even dinner (spaghetti bolognese with roasted med veg 441 calories) didn’t satiate my hunger after work.

I’d have a pint of water / squash and then see how you feel. Hunger isn’t something to fear, it doesn’t have to be attended to. You are used to eating more, so it’s to be expected to some extent.

if after you’ve had a big drink and waited a little bit you still feel the need then an apple, some cold meat or carrot sticks, apple slices with a little peanut butter is good.

I also find telling myself the kitchen is closed, having a drink and brushing my teeth helps. Also sucking on a sugar free sweet or having some gum also help.

Set yourself some mini targets, attach a non food treat to them and really celebrate your achievements.

well done on getting your number, losing even 10% will make a huge difference to your health.

I’d eat. Assuming you’re 5’4 you need around 2,300 calories a day to maintain your weight. A slice of toast isn’t going to affect any weight loss this week and if it stops you from binging then it’s worthwhile. 500 less (1lb a week) is 1800 so as a one off it won’t matter.

if you hit ‘complete diary’ on MFP it’ll give you a predicted weight in 5 weeks based on today’s calories. I’m pretty sure it’ll be fuck all in the grand scheme of things and sometimes you need to see the bigger picture (I.e having a snack will keep you on track so you’ll lose more long term than the 1oz of fat you won’t lose by having a 200 cal snack)

I personally think you have cut your calories too low

I calculated you as a 40 yo, at 5 ft 4 - you need as someone who is sat most of the day 1900 cals a day - to maintain

So to loose a pound a week you only need to drop 3000 calories - A WEEK

So loosen up. Eat good healthy food until you are full. I do that by 1 third of the plate protein, and the rest fibre and a small portion of carb

So spaghetti bolognaise, yes I will eat that, but will shove it to the side of the plate and pile veg/ salad to the other side . And when I make it I make it with 5% mince and a few handfuls of dried red lentils - doubles the protein, adds the fibre and makes it affordable ( let it simmer gently for 30 mins and the lentils melt in )

For me I need to fill my plate and eat till Im full else I snack but Im learning to fill the plate with veg and fibre

Today I hit Mc'Ds for lunch, we were out and lunch required. I had what I wanted , fancied, and counted that as my main meal so tonight Im settling with greek yoghurt and berries with bran

What I have learned, deprive yourself and you end up eating around you. I never go to bed hungry, I never feel hungry during the day and my BMR is only 1200 cals and I like a drink as well so working with so few calories , and wanting the odd cake or chocolate, or Mc D's means I have to plan ahead the best I can, Dont always get it right but Im maintaining a healthy BMI and can fit in my clothes

Eat a boiled egg. 70-90 calories but very satiating as high in protein.

This week has been pretty chaotic with the kids back in school but I’ve done well. I’m proud of myself! I’ve still been in a calorie deficit every day. ive naturally started to eat more, smaller meals - about 5 small meals a day which works so much better for me.

big news is that I’ve dropped at least 4lbs since starting! (I think - my new scales keeps changing every time I stand on it. This morning it ranged from 280 to 283. But it’s still down from 285 last week!)

That’s amazing! Does it feel sustainable?

I’ve been surprised with how easy I have found it actually! But having a stressful week I’ve not had the time to think about food. At least on the way home from work I’m not stopping at the garage and buying a sugary drink, crisps and chocolate like I used to do before.

I am a little worried that I will loose interest / get bored soon so making sure I get to 21 days pretty faultlessly even though I’m allowing myself a small brownie bite at work if I feel the need or a taste of bday cake but I’m not going overboard and I’ve been weighing and tracking it still.

in regards to eating too little, I think I might be. I want to get some advice on TDEE. I know how to calculate it but don’t know what to do from there for maximum results but sustainable results. I haven’t been focussed on getting exactly 1600 but roughly between 1600 and 1800 each day. Yesterday was a bit more because I felt hungry. Focussing on a weekly average has helped.

You are doing so well, all those little changes , which are sustainable - the water instead of the fizz - all adds up to a healthier diet and lifestyle

With your scales, if you can put them on a solid flat surface, not carpets or floorboards. I have concrete flooring so mine are upstairs , but what I do to ensure they arent moved, I draw around the corners onto the floor so I know they haven't been kicked or moved out of place by someone else using them :) - White board marker washes off :)

If you know your tdee, your BMI, height weight and roughly how much you move about on top of daily living - you can ask chatgpt to help you out. Give it all the info and say I want to lose lb a week , I need high protein and fibre, I hate tomatoes, - make me a meal plan for the week. And state what meals you eat - what times of days. I did it the other day and gave as much detail as I thought off as I went along - like I get up at 5am, first meal is around 1pm - and it even worked in a small high protein snack to have early morning . It was really pretty good fun , it would come back with a plan, Id say but I dont like that , it came up with a swap with the correct macros , saved hours of time going through millions of sites back and forth cross referencing

And Ive been maintaining my weight loss for two. years - just thought Id got in a bit of a rut and wanted to shake it up a bit