Thinking of you so much OJ.
I too cannot believe the behaviour of you MIL and the rest of the family.
They are so far out of line I cannot believe.
I pounded out a letter from you to the family - it may be the last thing you want to do and I can totally understand if it is. However I know you want to put Steve first (even if they don't) and I suspect that in the future you will need to be happy in yourself that you did as Steve would have wanted.
The letter is here:
Dear Mil and family
This is a very difficult letter to write but I really feel I have no alternative.
As you all know Steve does not have much time left. What time he does have left I want him to pass as comfortably and peacefully as possible, in his home and surrounded by the people who love him and who he loves.
Obviously this is horribly stressful for all of us. As his wife I am utterly devastated. As the mother of his much loved children I am heartbroken. As his family I know you are all heartbroken too to lose a much loved son and brother.
I do not want to deny any of you the chance to be with Steve. However, what I, as his wife, need to do is protect him from any stress and agitation. Unfortunately there has been a lot of stress and agitation over the last few weeks.
Please put Steve first at this time. I need to limit visits as I have 3 very upset children to consider and I obviously want to spend as much time with Steve as I possibly can. I also really need to avoid any stress on Steve as it upsets him so much.
Please try and understand that it is Steve and only Steve that I and the nurses and social worker are thinking of. Visits have had to be limited and chaperoned due to the stress and upset the arguments cause Steve.
I am sure none of you want your last memories of Steve to be this way. It is certainly not what he would want and not what I want. You are his family. I am his wife and the mother of his children. We need to pull together and put Steve and the children first.
Please do not let this very sad time be further marred by fighting. Steve wanted to be at home and I fought very hard to make this happen. Your support in ensuring that Steve?s wishes are carried out would be invaluable.
Furthermore, you are and will always be part of mine and my children?s family. Our children will need all the love and support available without their beloved Daddy.
Please look to your hearts and let Steve and his wishes come first. This time will not come again for any of us.
OJ
Please feel free to just ignore it as I do totally understand that your MIL has overstepped any mark there ever was. But I thought that some of it at least might be something of what you are feeling and might in some small way get through to Steve's family.
Hugs my dear.
Not even sure it it is right to post this as I know you have gone above and beyond but I feel totally useless otherwise! Ignore me if you want!