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Original poster

Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

958 replies

Cyee · 13/05/2008 20:22

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

  • Is there a site out there for women like us?
  • If not, would you like there to be?
  • Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
  • Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 08/05/2009 02:59

Ohhh - I love it!!!!

Sawyer64 · 08/05/2009 10:57

Ooh yes that sounds good!

Not sure that it would be picked up though for new people looking for advice,support etc.

Original poster
Cyee · 08/05/2009 12:16

Raggy dolls! Raggy dolls! Dolls like you and me! Raggy dolls! Raggy Dolls! Made imperfectleeeeee! I'm having childhood flashbacks.

C'mon everyone - group hug - but mind those fanjos, no crazy ass-slapping please!

Yes it is Friday and I am borderline hysterical

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 08/05/2009 14:01

We could always title it

"The Raggy Dolls Club - here to support you if your bits have been mangled in childbirth"

or

"The Raggy Dolls' Support Thread for Sphincter Injuries and Fistulae".

Sawyer64 · 08/05/2009 16:53
Jacksmama · 09/05/2009 02:42

This has got to be one of the most un-MN-like threads with all this shameless hugging!

But I figure we're entitled after what we've been through.

["so there" emoticon]

Original poster
Cyee · 09/05/2009 12:35

I know! And this from the woman who REFUSES to put kisses at the end of her texts and emails! Hey - you guys bring out my softer side

Have a wonderful weekend everyone. I have just pounded the treadmill. Ouch. I did quite enjoy the slothdom I was able to get away with when I was more obviously damaged...

And guess what, I just realised the 7th was my op anniversary... and... well... not to get too graphic... but I got some action last night and things are so much better.

My sincere wish is that you guys get to that point also... sooner rather than later. Hang in there!

OP posts:
Jacksmama · 09/05/2009 14:54

Good for you for getting on the treadmill! I have been contemplating going for slow careful jogs with Jackbaby in the jogging stroller. When I have to suddenly dash across the street (because I'm too lazy to wait for the light to change...) it still occasionally feels like my insides are going to fall out. Or like my bits are jiggling which clearly they couldn't be?? It must be just be a question of further tightening my pelvic floor. Right? Or...? [puzzled emoticon]

bubblerock · 09/05/2009 19:54

I'm scared now - got my date through for my repair, pre op on 26th May and op on 2nd June! Will have to stock up on diazepan ready.

Sawyer64 · 10/05/2009 21:00

It is pretty scary beforehand bubblerock.
But i can assure you from my experience that the reality is not as scary as what you are imagining now!

You've got the "easy" bit of going off to sleep,and then when you wake up,you shouldn't feel any pain as they'll have given you something to make you comfortable.if you feel any soreness at all,speak up and don't be brave,as its important to be painfree and comfortable for the first 24 hours,and then you will cope better with knowing what you need and when ,to top up the painkillers later on.

I had a pack and a Catheter,which was taken out,after I had that mornings tablets,and that was mildly uncomfortable,but a great relief after,had felt like I was sitting on a hard ball.

When I got discharged later that day I was tired,but painfree.I found sitting in one position for too long would make me sore,but other than that I could cope well with any soreness,which was a great deal less than I had anticipated.

bubblerock · 10/05/2009 21:18

Thanks so much Sawyer, did you just stay in 1 night? That's the bit I'm dreading. I take ciprolex for agoraphobia/social anxiety and the thought of spending time on the ward is freaking me out! I had to spend the night last week with DS2 in hospital in a side room but it was unplanned - I tend to be better if I don't have time to panic before hand, but I still felt trapped!

ps. I thought you had all buggered off now you've all got your sex lives back on track!!

Sawyer64 · 10/05/2009 21:33

Yes only 1 night.I found the ward ok.There were 6 beds in my ward and the ladies were very friendly and supportive.

If you needed help those that could would help you or ring the bell for you.Also put my fear and discomfort in perspective,as some had had a Hysterectomy.By the time you have had your op and are mobile,you find its your turn to be supportive and helpful,takes your mind off your worries a little.

I still lurk here,to see if I can add anything to our Raggy Dools Club

bubblerock · 10/05/2009 21:42

1 night sounds doable!
What do you say when people ask why your going to hospital?? I keep saying womens stuff but it's really embarrassing!!

Why aren't we better built to have children FGS?? Evolution and all that, you'd have thought we'd be able to drop a sprog without it all going pear shaped by now wouldn't you??

Sawyer64 · 10/05/2009 22:43

I'd say a Repair Op following traumatic labour etc. Most women have the symptoms to a lesser or greater degree,but "put up" with it,thinking theres nothing that can be done.

Ask anyone who's had a baby vaginally whether they have to run to the loo now,or struggle to hold onto their wee,most would say yes.

Mine was a Rectocele,and even that is commoner than you'd think.Just more embarrassing to talk about.

Yes I would agree,we shouldn't have to suffer like this.But can you imagine that women have had these problems for centuries,not as lucky as we now are, that have the repair ops available to us.

bubblerock · 10/05/2009 23:39

Snap - mines a rectocele too . Have had a sore throat for nearly 4 weeks now though so need to try and get into GP this week and get that sorted before the pre op. I do agree that we are lucky to have options available for treatment now - can you imagine how some women with large families must have suffered in the 'olden days'!

Jacksmama · 11/05/2009 04:06

Hi Bubblerock - I haven't buggered off yet - neither have I got my sex life sorted...

... on the subject of which, would anyone care for some lovely carrots and baby courgettes?

(I'm kidding. Honest. Cross my heart and all that...)

I do wonder sometimes (well, more frequently since I've had Jackbaby) how women in centuries gone by coped, who had the kind of birth damage we've all had. I mean, we've all probably read that phrase in romance novels "she was never the same after her child's birth"... now I know what that means. But how did they cope? Without corrective surgery, or pelvic floor physios, or anything we have now. What must it have been like for them to have sex again without having been stitched up at all? No wonder in generations past sex was something women suffered through. Well, some, anyway. It boggles the mind that some of them had eight or more children - can you imagine how much worse it must have been after each child?
Ugh - I shudder at the thought.

Original poster
Cyee · 11/05/2009 21:11

Hola ladies, I tried to post last night but MN shit me out... borrrrring.

Anyway - hello

Welcome back Bubblerock - defo second Sawyer on the subject of hospital. I was in for 2 nights and it was ok - and I reeeeally don't like hospitals. However I don't have social anxiety like you describe so maybe worth speaking to the nurses in case they think a private room would be the way to go. You'll know what's best for you.

Thanks for the treadmill encouragement Jacksmama! I do know what you mean about the jiggly bits. But I do think healing takes a lot longer when you are or have been breastfeeding. I stopped feeding over a year ago and I still have white milk showing after a tweak or two (ok it's highly embarrassing to admit tweaking your knockers for no good reason??) so I imagine it takes a while for your body to adjust.

As for the baby veggies - hahahaha I will never look at a baby sweetcorn in quite the same way... good texture, no?

Anyway, I AM going to bed early/on time today. Mini monkey has bit of a virus at the moment so has been waking veeeery early.

Have a good night all and Bubblerock, stay strong and hope you sort the sore throat out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cyee · 11/05/2009 21:11

Hola ladies, I tried to post last night but MN shit me out... borrrrring.

Anyway - hello

Welcome back Bubblerock - defo second Sawyer on the subject of hospital. I was in for 2 nights and it was ok - and I reeeeally don't like hospitals. However I don't have social anxiety like you describe so maybe worth speaking to the nurses in case they think a private room would be the way to go. You'll know what's best for you.

Thanks for the treadmill encouragement Jacksmama! I do know what you mean about the jiggly bits. But I do think healing takes a lot longer when you are or have been breastfeeding. I stopped feeding over a year ago and I still have white milk showing after a tweak or two (ok it's highly embarrassing to admit tweaking your knockers for no good reason??) so I imagine it takes a while for your body to adjust.

As for the baby veggies - hahahaha I will never look at a baby sweetcorn in quite the same way... good texture, no?

Anyway, I AM going to bed early/on time today. Mini monkey has bit of a virus at the moment so has been waking veeeery early.

Have a good night all and Bubblerock, stay strong and hope you sort the sore throat out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cyee · 11/05/2009 21:11

Hola ladies, I tried to post last night but MN shit me out... borrrrring.

Anyway - hello

Welcome back Bubblerock - defo second Sawyer on the subject of hospital. I was in for 2 nights and it was ok - and I reeeeally don't like hospitals. However I don't have social anxiety like you describe so maybe worth speaking to the nurses in case they think a private room would be the way to go. You'll know what's best for you.

Thanks for the treadmill encouragement Jacksmama! I do know what you mean about the jiggly bits. But I do think healing takes a lot longer when you are or have been breastfeeding. I stopped feeding over a year ago and I still have white milk showing after a tweak or two (ok it's highly embarrassing to admit tweaking your knockers for no good reason??) so I imagine it takes a while for your body to adjust.

As for the baby veggies - hahahaha I will never look at a baby sweetcorn in quite the same way... good texture, no?

Anyway, I AM going to bed early/on time today. Mini monkey has bit of a virus at the moment so has been waking veeeery early.

Have a good night all and Bubblerock, stay strong and hope you sort the sore throat out.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cyee · 11/05/2009 21:12

OOps

OP posts:
Sawyer64 · 11/05/2009 21:59

Must be "Trigger Finger" after peeling all those carrots eh Cyee

Jacksmama · 12/05/2009 02:38

Who peels carrots these days???

kentmumtj · 12/05/2009 06:54

hahahahahaha nothing like a good read to begin my day with and put me in a good mood......its better than reading bedtime stories to the children .....so entertaining

bubblerock hi hello and good luck im sure everything will be fine, you may find yourself very sleepy after the GA anyway so may want to just doze away for that night.

I too had a rectocele a larage one apparently. I too am still having no sex life although i did attempt to once

i know have the horrible horrible thrush god im soooo incredibly lucky to get all these things. Ive got my appointment for the physio on the front wall next month, should be interesting. Ive also got my next appointment for my colposcopy and biopsy cor what a list.

Anyways sounds like you guys are all well which is good to hear

bubblerock · 12/05/2009 09:18

Awww, thanks so much for all of the support, I promise to give reports as you have all done to help others like us. I think you lot have put me off carrots for life! Will try to forget about all the 'suffering' and look forward to my brand new 'designer vagina'

Original poster
Cyee · 12/05/2009 10:34

Exactly - good on you.

As for me... just re-read my post and am PMSL - I of course meant SHUT out and not SHIT out. Though the irony isn't lost...!

OP posts: