Spincter injury, fistula - support eachother?

[Cyee]

Hi everyone,

Wonderful weather we're having

I am propped up in bed post-hospital and I was wondering if anyone out there knows of, or would enjoy/benefit from, a thread or support site for people who have experienced the above (sphincter damage, fistula etc.) as a result of childbirth.

In my own experience, this whole area is a bit taboo. In fact the consultants reckon there are many women who have some symptoms related to the above, who never seek treatment. The thought of women embarrassed to discuss these matters is awful, yet that seems to be the case.

So - this (while souped up on painkillers) is a call to arms:

• Is there a site out there for women like us?
• If not, would you like there to be?
• Would a thread on MN especially for this, be useful?
• Would it be useful to share experiences with consultants/physios/hospitals/procedures?

If these matters resonate with you or anyone you know, it would be great if you could point them in this direction. I'm going to post in the 'health' and 'childbirth' sections too.

I know too well the taboo around this. I posted on MN when I got my diagnosis and used a different name...

Hope to hear from some people soon.

Cyee
(successfully repaired as of last Wednesday (fingers/legs crossed))

Well I guess as long as you are having "Safe Sex" the Peeling doesn't matter

Good luck Bubblerock.

Just wanted to post a "serious TMI"-type update...

Although there has not yet been any sexual activity in Chateau Jack, all seems extremely well with respect to my ragged bits and the, ahem, vegetarian dilators. I have had no pain whatsoever, and am now actually eager to farm Jackbaby out to a babysitter and jump Jackspapa's bones attempt to do the deed.

(God, I cannot believe I am actually writing this... madness... )

Wish me luck!!

jacksmama hahahahaha good luck do keep us updated

all those carrots seem to have worked then???

perhaps i will give them a try

Witwooo - you go Jacksmama!! Keep us posted.

Have I scared everyone off with pervtalk?

This perv is lurking Cyee

Sorry, nothing to report yet - lack of opportunity!! Am seriously thinking of giving Jackbaby a dose of Benadryl (antihistamine) so he'll be guaranteed to sleep for a few hours straight one night soon. (He's one of those who wakes up several times after he first goes to sleep.)

I'm sorry, I'm sorry I forgot to wish the thread Happy Birthday last week.

Can I just say that I was very very ill this time a year ago and now I'm not .

As you were with the pervtalk.

I'm still around too - just waiting Sore throat seems to have disappeared and I've been keeping myself busy decorating the kitchen to keep my mind off what's coming!! Jacksmama - stop making excuses - grab Jacksdada and have your wicked way with the poor bloke!!

Ok, ok!! One large dose of Benadryl for the baby coming up...

Happy Birthday to the Ragged Bits thread!

Cyee, it's your thread, would you like to do the honours?

It's not my thread. It's all of our thread.... however....

*

The champers is open I do love a bit of Veuve.... mmmmm... lovely bubbles

Happy birthday raggedy ladies!!

Now if these bubbles don't get the perv action going I don't know what well. Be liberal with that Benadryl Jacksmama. Poor Jackspapa isn't going to know what hit him... or indeed how many ladies are keen to hear how his experience was!

ThingOne it's just brilliant reading your post. What a difference a year makes...

glug glug glug

think i need loads of that to get me back into the bed mood

i still have thrush fed up with it now as im quite eager to have my 2nd attempt

pervwatch
am eagerly watching and waiting for update jaksmama

thingone thats great news

Yes, please. I'll have a second glass please. It's all I'm getting as I'm back on bleedin' metrodinazole . Fortunately went to a good party on Saturday night .

Hello guys. After MUCH soul searching and lots of helpful advice of you lovely mumsnetters I am ( at the moment ) definately having my planned c/s This is the only way to avoid further damage to my botty and if I have to have a GA then so be it. It's not the end of the world but it would be the end of my world to end up with a colostomy bag or needing further surgery and having life long problems.

Stupid MW told me the other day that if i go into labour early i can't have my section without a medical reason?? Not happy with her!

Hope you are all doing okay, I'll keep you informed anyway

Hi there,

This message is for Janey73, reading what you have been through and are still going through is like reading my own story, funy i was told i was lucky???? I was in labour for quite a while with my daughter u can say very prolonged time i had maisie my waters had broken over 48 hours, i was told i had a 2nd degree tear which was misdiognosed because it was a fourth and also had a rectovaginal fistula which they have said i suffered because the tear had become infectedbut i am not convinced, as you can imagine what was happening i was told i was to have a colostomy for three months and this is five years later and i still have it, i also have severe sphincter damage which i have had two operations for. I have felt so alone for the last five years as no one wants to discuss my case and i had to tell them what i had. I since got my notes from the hospital and my maternity notes have been changed to make it look as if i was progressing in labour, i was furious and still am, i havent had an mri or ct scan to pinpoint exactly where the fistula is and they deffinatly dont want to give me one. My daughter had severe infections that also proved that i was in a prolonged labour and witness statements to show what really happened in labour. I feel that it is a big nhs cover up and i have suffered the same injurys as to those poor women in third world countries but thankfully my little girl was ok because she was monitored throughtout labour, i feel i am banging my head up against a brick wall and every person i thought could help me from the fistula foundation and elsewhere wont and dont want to because they dont want to get involved, if i was to prove my case in court this year i will be the first case in a 100 years suffering these injurys in the uk due to a prolonged labour, but im told this condition doesnt happen hear apparently haha, what is the world coming to where is the support for women in the uk?

I hope you are ok, keep strong and keep fighting x x x x

Oh dear, muppet, how horrible for you.

gillyan - I am really glad you decided on the C/S. at your MW. Why are some of them such utter twats????? I'd be using some rather strong language... such as, that if your bottom exploding into a million shreds if you pass a baby through isn't a medical enough reason, I don't know what would be... after which I'd tell her to blow it out her ear! [fuming emoticon]

Could you possibly speak with your medical doctor and have it put in writing that if you do go into labour early, you must have a section? If that isn't possible, I'd prime your DH or birth partner to keep saying very loudly "my wife needs a section, here are the reasons" and have the reasons written down (along with a date of discussion with your MD in which he agreed that you could have a section) - that is if you can't speak (scream) for yourself.

Surely there must be legal people out there for Birth Injuries?

Theres also Ombudsmen for this sort of "injustice" as well I thought.

I'm sure you know all this,and have explored all the avenues,but I can't believe theres all these companies that are begging for you to use them if you have had an injury at work,but not this?????

Gillyan,surely you can see your consultant and work out your Birth Plan? Then you can discuss how to get your CS.I usually have big babies,so it was decided early on I would have a CS,and to stop the likelihood of me going into labour early etc. it was booked for 38 weeks.When thats written in your notes etc.everyone that will deal with you will be aware....hopefully

Gillyan - yes do keep us informed. Glad you have a decision. I always hate uncertainty. My views on that midwife are un-bloody-printable!

Mupet - Please stick around on this thread as it sounds like there are women on here who have been through the same thing. I completely get where you're coming from in terms of the Fistula. I couldn't believe that I was reading that this injury no longer happens in the developed world. This thread is evidence enough that that view is complete rubbish.

As Sawyer64 says, you've probably done all the PALs stuff at your hospital and there is also the Birth Trauma Association. I know the legal stuff is difficult because it's easy for doctors to point to nature as well as mistakes. I didn't have a remotely traumatic labour and delivered without assistance and without a tear but still ended up with a fistula. So stories like mine don't help you make a case for negligence which must infuriate you.

All I can do is wish you the best. Please do keep on at them for a scan. Research specialists in your area, speak to your GP about referring you for a scan. They shouldn't let their fear of a court case stop them treating you and you should have all the anal scans going.

Take care

Ha ha thanks. Yes the consultant had already said it was up to me and he was fine with me having a section, other MWs too have said if I got into labour early then they'll just whip me in for the c/s.

I ended up ringing hospital this morning and spoke to a human midwife from my team - told her all the crap the other MW had said and she said it was all rubbish and she didn't know what she was playing at. I'm sure I will go into labour before section date - it is at 39wks and I had DD at 37 so...

Anyhow, thanks for the support and funny comments!

Good luck Gillyan. Here's hoping witchmidwife won't be on duty that day.

PERVWATCH UPDATE PERVWATCH UPDATE PERVWATCH UPDATE

I will be bringing my surgeon flowers on Monday when I go for my 15 week post-op check.

There was sex in The House Of Jack and it was good!!!!!!!

So, the details: I went to a yoga class after work and came home feeling really good and totally energized, and DH had bathed Jackbaby and dressed him for bed, so I thought, ok, this is it - I'm going to take the bull by the horns and give this a shot. Drugged the kid gave Jackbaby a dose of baby Benadryl (an antihistamine I give him for when we fly so his ears don't get blocked and he can sleep), and when he passed out a while later, waited until DH went to brush his teeth, ripped off my clothes and hurtled into bed. He comes in the bedroom, asks "where is Jackbaby?". (We co-sleep.)

Me: "well, I didn't know if you'd be interested but he's asleep in his bed. Wanna get frisky?"

I have never seen a man move so fast!

Lots of very enjoyable playing around later, I said, "ok, let's see if it works again!". It did!! It felt quite tight at the beginning, but there was only the tiniest bit of pain at the left side of my vaginal entrance - no pain at all from the right side, where that massive tear and the subsequent repair was. And it felt good!!!! God, I nearly cried just from relief. I really wondered, a while back, if sex was ever going to be painless again - not to mention feel good. DH, of course, felt like it was his birthday. He'll be walking around at work with perma-grin today!!

Cheers all!!!

Oh thats such good news!!! So pleased for you! What a relief!

Fab Fab Fab . Loving the AP(ish?) mama drugging the baby for sex . Desperate times call for desperate measures!

You are a beacon of sunlight me dear .

AP(ish)??? What's that? [ignorant Colonial furriner emoticon]

Now, I hope this doesn't mean I have to graduate from this thread!! That would make me sad.

wow wow wow bwt your soooooo glad all is working well and dh

i am going to attempt again tonight, hope i do manage the deed

must say im feeling a little apprenhensive, p[erhaps i should have follwed the advice given to you about carrots....but just couldnt too ambarasses someone would walk in and catch me

any way so glad to hear all is well jacksmama its brill news....bet dh is happy