The Great Recovery part 4

[TopOfTheCliff]

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

That’s great news @BatshitCrazyWoman . It’s a mixed feeling asking for investigations. On the one hand you want to get to the bottom of your aches and pains, while on the other you really don’t want bad news! Hopefully everything will be okay.
I’ve been happily cleaning my house with nice smelling Purdy and Figg potions today and loaded a car full of clutter and Charity shop stuff. I got rid of three boxes of awful vinyl LPs, some outdoor rubbish and a bag of clothes. There is still a lot of PILs stuff to get rid off but DH is happy for me to clear it now we have sold anything of value. There will be a couple of boxes of photo albums and papers left when all else is gone but the house is much better since I took back the cleaning. I am enjoying thinking what to spend the cleaning money on each week too. Nice new things for the house, and new house plants, and I am beginning to think about Christmas too.
DH is keen to take me up to Scotland for Hogmanay for our anniversary so that has been a fun thing to plan. We will stay in Edinburgh for New Year then go cycling if the weather isn’t awful 😎

I also had numbness in right armpit but it came back to life when I had diep though that is apparently unusual - my nerves seemed to reconnect again. I do get some mild pain around there - think its pulled muscle type pain probably from gardening, scans were clear.

DS wears colours @TopOfTheCliff but DD was concerned that he and I hadn't got the memo that teenagers are only supposed to wear very dark colours. 😎He is currently in rust which I didn't order but Mountain Warehouse sent - DS seems to like it. I've been getting him lots of new clothes for the colder weather as he's still in the garden a lot of the day walking around. Its fairly mild still here. Edinburgh sounds wonderful. I would love to go there for New Year. I need to plan a few more fun things as recently its been a lot of house and garden projects. I do love doing the garden though and happy enough to do the house.

I've booked fireworks at a castle this weekend which has a meal and drinks included and a band. DD is back in just over a month so we are trying to get things all sorted before then and nearly there.

Peak District sounds lovely @thesandwich

Great mammo and ultrasound were clear @BatshitCrazyWoman

@BatshitCrazyWoman hurrah for clear scans. It’s so nerve wracking though.

Today I had a little wisdom tooth out - starting zoledronic acid in Jan & oncologist recommended that I get dentist work done first. Dentist was my usual one who I’ve seen loads this year since chemo. It was fine but had numb face for most of the afternoon. Just lay on the sofa watching Harry Potter for a bit of escapism. Im knackered too - maybe time of the year, maybe just being back at work full time.

Puppy training starts tomorrow - makes a change from standing on a muddy field watching the kids play football….Standing in a muddy field try to get a lab to recall……should be interesting. We’ve signed up for a proper gundog one - need a slip lead & treats are not allowed! Let’s see how this goes…..

Had a lovely time at the fireworks at a private school which is a castle. Had prosecco, mulled wine, white hot chocolate and a coke, pizza and a choc chip dessert, great fireworks and a live band. Walked round grounds for about 2 hours whilst there.

Today we finished moving DSs chest of drawers and put all his new clothes in it and unpacked his new shoes. I cleaned upstairs floors. Then DH and I went to do some gardening with the silkies and I raked all the leaves up well most of them. Then I cleaned the kitchen and corridor whilst DH sorted the dining room.

Lovely call with DD and she is loving university.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

The dog training sounds fun @Littlecaf .

On Saturday DH and I were meant to be going to the cinema to watch La Boheme streamed live from the Metropolitan Opera in New York but sadly I was very poorly with Cholangitis and couldn't go. I'm very disappointed.

I’ve got a lot going on so don’t have time to catch up on the thread - hope everyone is ok - but thought I would leave this here.

it might be old news to the pros on this board, but I read it and a light bulb switched on in my (usually empty) head. That and I snorted with laughter reading it. I thought some other newbies might appreciate it.

Mountain lion in the fridge

So sorry you've been very poorly @MissMarplesNiece Hope you are recovered now and can do something nice.

There's a 2 week David Lloyd trial on here so will be doing that for next 2 weeks as well as house / garden stuff, well mainly house given the weather and daylight.

@MrsPengiuins I want to live like you do, it sounds so nice! My life is a constant stream of broken things and mistakes 😂 But DGS is doing well and so is DD, and we had a visit from DSS at the weekend too which was fun. I’m washing and drying and putting away garden and boat stuff for the winter while continuing the stream of decluttering the PILs treasures. I got rid of a load of MILs faux/fur coats and wedding/ formal dresses last week.
My knee is almost better thankfully, I went to the gym yesterday and today and it liked that! I have booked a Pilates class for tomorrow as it’s going to pour with rain again so I hope I will manage. I am back to cycling moderate distances but need to up my game before the end of the month for another endurance event. I am hopeful that I will be recovered enough.
@MissMarplesNiece I am so sorry to hear of the cholangitis. Did you have to go to hospital? It sounds painful. What is frustrating is the unpredictability of these things. It’s hard to make plans isn’t it?
@Lilgreygoose we love the Mountain Lion here! It’s the first link in the opening post for recoverers. Glad it gave you a chuckle.
DH is going away for a few days of winter exploring up north so I am thinking of decorating our bedroom while he is away. It will keep me busy and make things fresh for Christmas. No drastic changes just a general update and repair job.
I am feeling quite content at the moment. I don’t watch TV and am being quite antisocial to avoid club politics so all is calm here. I like it! This is the new me with a chill playlist!

Hi there, I’m a long time lurker! I posted once in March then found out the bloody cancer had recurred. After major surgery in June & a barrel load of complications (& the death of my lovely Dad), I feel like I’m finally on the comeback trail.
Thanks to your post @MrsPengiuins I’ve just signed up for the two week David Lloyd trial in my area and I am excited!!
I’ve always loved exercising but the surgery left me feeling like I’d been hit by a train, trampled by elephants & put on a washing machine spin cycle. I’m also at major risk of getting hernias so need to be sensible.

My goal is to jog/run a parkrun by midsummer’s day next year.
I’ve loved reading all your life updates and hope you’re all having a good week so far.
Now to treat myself to a new swimsuit…….

David Lloyd is lovely, particularly the ones with the spa retreats, I don’t really get to mine very often since working full-time as it’s a bit of a trip away, I wish I lived next-door to one! I took time out of my normal exercise routine while selling my DM’s house at a busy time for work, and I was just getting back into routine, and now I’ve got a cold/cough and I’m feeling quite ropey. These things will pass!

I’ve been talking to people about run/walking a half marathon type distance next year for charity, not sure if it will come off, but think it will give me a bit of focus for my running training again, I went to see a female health physio about strengthening my pelvic floor in preparation!

Dare I mention all the renewed noise around cancer and HRT following Davina’s announcement of her diagnosis. Guess it’s better to ignore it, but some people are so evangelical about HRT and can’t tolerate differences of experience!

In other news, DD’s car started smoking! She’s on a series of night shifts and can’t cope with doing anything about it at the moment, but that’s my latest project I guess sorting out a new car and how to finance it for her! We are towards about a sensible decision looking at the future of cars versus something that is not ugly or a model her grandma (or I) drive 😂

Hello all, lovely to read all the updates- sorry you’ve not been well @MissMarplesNiece. Love the mountain lion @Lilgreygooseits a really good way to describe THE FEAR to others.
In awe as always at all your exercise achievements- I was pleased to do 8 miles in the peaks. Here focusing on planning lots of nice theatre and cinema trips- seeing Choral on Thursday which looks good. Still piles of decluttering I’ve avoided while the weather has been good.

@Lilgreygoose hey - thanks for the article. Made me chuckle and shed a tear. Not sure I’ve got the mental health resilience to deal with any more lion cubs. One fucking big lion was enough but somewhere I suppose I might have to deal with it. And we just do. Luckily I seem to have surrounded myself with fabulous (or boring) people because not one of my mates has ever said “but lions don’t like kale” or similar. Choosing great mates. I’m good at that bit!

I’m having another “cancer is shit week”. I get all in my head about it coming back. I talk myself into a state and then have to climb out of a bit black hole again. I keep doing it over and over. I know we’re all scared but if anyone has any tips to help to stop from mentally ripping that band aid off again and again I’d appreciate it. I have a lovely family, work, hobbies, exercise etc. I’m a rational & quite relaxed person usually. Maybe I need some more counselling? Has anyone done a “moving on” type course? Any good?

Glad your DD and granddaughter are doing well. Your life always sounds lovely to me @TopOfTheCliff

So sorry you got a return of cancer @Yorkshiregold and lost your lovely Dad. I hope you have a wonderful time at David Lloyd and life gets better.

Hope you can get some David Lloyd visits in @SierraSapphire

Sorry you are worrying about cancer returning @Littlecaf I did a Moving On course, it was OK but as I had left it a few months it was pretty much all stuff I knew. But its free and might be worth trying. Counselling didn't do much for me either but again can get it via Macmillan or NHS with a wait and worth trying. Some people try meds though make sure tell them any meds you are on, some you can't take with Tamoxifen for example. I never used meds but some people find them helpful. For me, it was exercise, swimming, nice days out (to see puffins etc), a la-la-la attitude as in cancer did I have cancer no not me, talking to others who had cancer and just deciding I wasn't going to let cancer take any more and I was going to live life to the full so holidays etc. Time also helps. I don't think about it much now. It may come back one day and I will deal with it then if it does and just enjoy life until that day. I also thought I am exercising and I did put weight on with cancer treatment and then I got back to normal BMI and so I felt I am doing all I can. I try to eat more fruit and veg too.

Enjoy theatre and cinema @thesandwich Sounds good.

I have just been to David Lloyds and was great though quite disorganised there. It said relatives can join at reception. So went to reception and no membership cards download app but they let us through and said just join on app. You couldn't do that but we both got to use everything anyway as they let us both in. I've since paid for the second person so its sorted. The spa was lovely, outdoor pool was cold and indoor pool only 1 lane was available before 7pm. So we spent almost all our time in the spa but that was nice and we've done a lot of exercise this week already. Our local David Lloyd is crazily expensive - £600 for 2 pcm if do 3 months - so we won't continue after 14 days but so nice to have it for 14 days. Outside spa was really warm.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Went to David Lloyd spa and pool on Friday with DH which was nice. This weekend have just been doing more on house - painting another coat in bathroom, clearing a cupboard out and cleaning all of downstairs. As well as Sunday lunch and apple crumble.

@Yorkshiregold welcome to our lovely thread. You sound just our sort! I have realised after all the battering I have had that it is important to go gently and allow recovery to happen in its own time. Pushing harder doesn’t speed it up it simply makes it hurt more! I had breast cancer twice, two different ones, and lost my lovely Dad in between them so I understand the mental struggle.
In our area we have the 5k your way Move against Cancer Parkrun at the end of each month. I have been to a lot of these with my oncologist DD and even at my lowest was walking one lap of three on crutches. I will never be a runner again but it’s a lovely uplifting occasion.
@Littlecaf I think after having the second cancer I managed to bore myself out of worrying any more. I was sick of being frightened and thinking every pain was a bad sign, so I just decided to ignore it all. I am more of a hypochondriac now, but only for a few minutes a week.
I did an online Moving Forward course in 2021 which was informative but not supportive, then a face to face one in 2023 which was supportive but I already knew the information. I think on that one I realised how much better my mental health was compared to the other ladies who were fresh out of primary treatment and still terrified. Finally I did a Cancer Lifelines Southwest retreat which was amazing, holistic and totally fabulous. I will do some fundraising for them soon as they are a tiny charity based near me in Devon. It seems to me there is no one answer to recovery. It all depends on where you live, what help is available and a degree of luck as to who turns up on the day.
Have you signed up for anything yet?
I have been slowly recovering from my sore knee. It is 90 percent better, still slightly swollen but I can cycle up steep hills again and am back in the gym. Yesterday I went out on a club ride and fell off on a muddy hill. I was unhurt but embarrassed. I seem to spend my life explaining why I am muddy, wet and aching or surrounded by boxes of clutter. Why can’t I have a sophisticated time dressed smartly doing clean things in a tidy house? Where did I go wrong?
I was useful at the weekend. Our bedroom is clean and fresh with new lamps and dressing gown hooks. The holes in the walls got filled and wallpaper patched and painted. It all looks better and there is a bin full of rubbish outside now. I just have to keep going!

@TopOfTheCliff thanks for your reply. I haven’t signed up for anything yet, I did 12 sessions of counselling post chemo which really helped with processing the diagnosis, facing cancer & chemo etc but I think I need an off ramp for my mental health. The counsellor said she’d put me on the Moving On course in Sept but I haven’t heard anything. I’ll contact her. I can identify with boring yourself out of worrying about it - I bored myself out of grief and relationship splits in the past: you get fed with the emotion of it.

Went to David Lloyd yesterday for swim and indoor / outdoor spa which was lovely. Other than that its house projects. DD is back on 6th so trying to get some finished for then. Its great to get things done but I have started too many projects and need to finish some. The trouble is when you do one you spot something else you could improve. DS had been bringing in industrial quantities of mud from the garden but thankfully after a word with him and also leaving the leaves its much better. The test will be when it gets very wet.

Hoping to do 1 or 2 more David Lloyd visits this weekend and some house projects. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

I know exactly what you mean about the multiple projects @MrsPengiuins it happens here too. DH always has at least 20 jobs the go. I am more of a finisher/completer type.
I have taken the plunge and signed up for gym membership using some of the cleaning money. I've got an induction on Monday but I have already been going on and off for five years so I know the set up pretty well.
My knee is 90 percent better so I am upping my training rides but they are still short and sharp rather than the long rides I need. I am a bit limited by the weather sadly. It is lovely out when the sun is shining and I don't mind the cold.
I am actually managing to make some plans for next summer which is exciting. This has been a casualty of the cancer years, not being able to look ahead for some reason. Happily it is improving! Time is the healer I suppose.

I also still feel nervous about planning ahead but we are just back from an amazing trip which we did plan ahead, way back in 2023 right at the end of my treatment. If any of you have very long memories, you might remember some of us chatted about it when I booked it. We’ve been to the Western Isles to stay in a beautiful new house on Harris with stunning sea views. It was a long, long drive at this time of year but amazing to be there when it was so quiet with beaches and hills all to ourselves. It also felt like a kind of closure as I remember booking it felt brave at the time. I still worry a lot about recurrence but the fear is more of a background noise than a shout at the moment.

we did a lot of walking, including in some wild weather and I was pleased with my fitness. But I also made the unwelcome discovery that I’ve got too fat to do up my size 14 winter walking trousers so I’m trying hard to cut out as much crap in my diet as possible now we’re back and hope to shift a few kg before Christmas.

I remember the house @dotty2 That holiday sounds wonderful, glad you enjoyed it.

Good to have some nice plans for the summer @TopOfTheCliff

I still don't book much ahead but that more the children than fear of cancer. DD tells me I book holidays like a teenager which sounds like I am living an exciting life on the edge rather than being cautious / needing to know what everyone else is doing.

I am normally a finisher of projects and DH a I'll do that "tomorrow" but the builders did work in 3 rooms and also used a further 3 or so rooms so we ended up with a lot being done everywhere. Its great to get things done but will be glad when more of it is finished. Am currently trying to get as much done as possible before 6 December when DD is back.

Went to David Lloyd yesterday for swimming and indoor / outdoor spa which was really nice - spa is lovely and warm but pool was really cold but did mean it was empty. Other than that just house things - have new William Morris curtains up in 2 rooms upstairs.

Ooh I do love William Morris. Back in my previous life I had some lovely Liberty curtains with Strawberry thief on them. My daughter chose the willow leaf pattern for her teenage bedroom. That house has long gone now. Maybe I can introduce some into Tops Towers. It would suit the age of the house.
Today I wanted to get some miles of cycle training in but DD asked if I could help with DGS. So I jumped on my bike at dawn and rode 20 miles over a big hill to get to her. After two hours of lovely cuddles with DGS I zoomed home back over the big lump before it got dark. I saw thirty deer running wild in the forest and it was such a beautiful day. I really enjoyed my own company and being fit enough to ride up the steep roads I chose. I think being on my own I don’t compare myself to faster fitter people and just enjoy the experience. It’s a joy to have a body that almost works!
There are still rickety bits but I am grateful for what I have.

Oh and @dotty2 don't despair just tuck the skinny trousers deep in the drawer and treat yourself to some nice new ones in a 16. Soon you will have to swap back! I just bought DH a lovely Goretex jacket and it won't do up round his middle! The mens large is smaller than the ladies medium which is nuts! It has gone back to Germany.

@Littlecaf I did the moving on course after my first cancer, it was helpful, as much as anything because I didn’t have any friends who had cancer so while they were supportive it was good to speak to people who had been through it. I’ve just finished a parenting with cancer course as I carried a lot of guilt about the effect it had on more children, they were ten and twelve when I was first diagnosed. It has definitely helped to reduce that. I have also been having some individual clinical psychology which was available through my hospital trust but I had to push for that, she has been wonderful and kept me on through my recurrence even though the sessions were meant to be limited. Similar to @TopOfTheCliff I don’t currently have much anxiety about the cancer coming back as it already has, I definitely felt worse about this after my initial treatment had finished.

@MrsPengiuins I have been spending a lot of time at the David Lloyd. My grumbly frozen shoulder has let me do a bit of swimming but not too much so I have spent a lot of time in the spa. I also did a sound bath there last night which was lovely.

I am also having a few bits done to the house before I go back to work. New carpets upstairs are in, having some of the downstairs painted and trying to choose new curtains for a couple of rooms once the painting is done.

@TopOfTheCliff your cycling exploits are inspirational. I have a lot of rebuilding to do to get back to my previous fitness but you are giving me hope!

Hope everyone has a good week.

thanks @Yorkshiregold @TopOfTheCliff for your encouraging words. I think eventually the anxiety will fade. I’ve got lots of one year anniversaries coming up (end of chemo, mastectomy etc) so I have an oncology one year review and first mammogram. I supposed I’d rather be here than back at last year.

Had our last David Lloyd on the 14 day trial on Tuesday, it was lovely and would be lovely to keep it going but we won't as its expensive and it was mainly the spa that was lovely and we wouldn't get enough done. The pools were freezing. Did love our 14 days though. There might be a time later when we join.

I am glad you enjoyed David Lloyd too @Yorkshiregold

Lovely to see DGS @TopOfTheCliff

Good luck for first mammo @Littlecaf

Have got more William Morris curtains for the dining room and have a William Morris duvet cover to match curtains we have upstairs. Have also ordered a new leather sofa bed for DS in dark red, been looking at them for a while as he loved the old one so much but DH was saying no and then they went 40% off in the Black Friday sale and DH converted. Won't arrive until January but DH is very excited now. They bring it into house which is good. It will be a surprise for DS. Was a bit worried about the cat but figured a way round that, will put it against the wall and one side against a wall and other against the dresser, cats seem to target tall parts. We are currently getting 9 sacks to throw out but have made 6 already and DD said we can get rid of her punch bag so taking that apart hopefully.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. We are going to the botanic gardens Christmas lights on Sunday when its supposed to be dry. Other than that will do bit more on the house, maybe painting my cupboard and sorting DDs room as she is back next weekend. We have Christmas cakes etc to pick up day before she is back.