The Great Recovery part 4

[TopOfTheCliff]

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

I find BC awareness stuff everywhere hard, even 3 years on. And I have my annual review back at the hospital where I was treated and diagnosed coming up this week too. But after my scare over the summer, I’m not too worried about that, having been checked over pretty recently.

I know what you mean about the gap in all the stuff that used to occupy your thoughts @SierraSapphire It was odd when my dads house sold this summer (the sale also took a long time). So much worry for so long and then all gone.

good news about the DIEP. Hurray for successful surgery. And I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down @Littlecaf and hope the puppy is well and able to come home to you soon.

DH seems on the mend from Covid, and I am still testing negative. I have been feeling very lonely in our empty house, avoiding him too. It’s been nearly a week since he started feeling rough so I think I might sit in the same room as him to watch tv tonight! Both DDs seem happy enough at uni though, DD2 has settled in more smoothly than DD1 so far, who was really struggling this time two years ago. So that’s all a huge relief (and also there was a time when I wondered if I would live to see DD2 off to uni, so I should be more grateful than sad)

It seems very much the turning of the seasons at present. Old houses sold, young people off to new starts and us all trudging forwards into the next stage of life.
I have had to change my plans because of my swollen knee but I managed a 40 mile bike ride on my ebike today and am enjoying a trip away for a few days with friends.
I’ve got bloods booked to rule out arthritis next week but I think it is settling now after resting it for a week.
It seems to me it is good to control what fills your head. Whether it is worries about cancer or issues with friends and family if it is affecting your sleep or wellbeing it needs to stop! The tricky bit is how to block it out and achieve calm.

Have you had your check yet @dotty2 ? Hope all is well.
I have survived the cycling weekend without cycling, the bike tour on my ebike and am now on a walking weekend without walking! I swam in the sea this morning but can’t walk far due to the crunchy knee. Frustrating but at least I am being sociable.
DM had a fall last week and hit her head so is fragile. DB is putting in daily carers soon but I will go over and keep her company if DD hasn’t delivered her baby next week. Currently DD is booked for induction on Thursday but is having some twinges. Exciting times! Too much going on for me to worry about myself.
Hope you are all thriving.

Thank you @TopOfTheCliff It was a bit rubbish and unsettling tbh. Some of you might remember I had a scare over the summer with a palpable lymph node on my collarbone. Checked out by a consultant radiologist with US scan. Looks completely normal. No biopsy needed. Discharged back to normal follow ups. Anyway, at the normal follow up on Friday I’m seen by a youngish dr I haven’t seen before. Has everything been ok this year, she says. Well, yes, apart from the lymph node issue. It’s obviously the first she’s heard of it, she doesn’t seem to have or can’t find anything in the file. Didn’t they do a biopsy she says? She examines me, says it’s still palpable and probably nothing to worry about but ‘keep an eye on it’. It’s irrational, I’m sure, but she’s made me feel worried all over again, like it hadn’t been put to bed as I’d hoped. Plus, I had some questions about my drugs she couldn’t engage with as surgery and oncology are two totally different streams (and trusts) here. And they were running 30 mins late and I was early as it’s a long and unpredictable drive. So, tbh, spending an hour in That Waiting Room with all its bad associations had probably put me in a bad place before we even started. So I’m not anxious about the specifics so much as in a less positive mind set than before I went in. Sigh.

still, I had a nice walk with DH yesterday, dinner out with friends and DD2 is coming home for a couple of nights today. So lots of bright side to focus on. I just wish there was a bit more thought about how the whole check up experience affects people.

Oh @dotty2 I am sorry it wasn’t a reassuring experience. You have to take what comfort you can from the visit.
Good news here. My DD had her baby yesterday so I am now a proud Granny. He is a gorgeous boy, chubby and alert. I am so pleased for her and her DH, they make a sweet little family. I am trying to be a good DM and DMIL with MN as my guide 😂

Huge congratulations @TopOfTheCliff That is wonderful news. It's so lovely to hear the cheery things after everything we've all gone through and are still experiencing.

@dotty2 huge sigh. It's so triggering going back to these places, especially when there are worries to be attended to.

I'm back off to my onco in November as I've been offered an additional preventative treatment, ribocyclib. It involves heart echoes, monthly bloods and more rocking up at the cancer centre. Anyone who thinks that cancer is "over" once operations and chemo stops needs to think again!

Many congratulstions@TopOfTheCliff are you going to be grannytop?
Been busy here with lots of lovely trips and meet ups, trying new things- including a literary festival that included the astonishing Pam Ayers. A brilliant witty performance from a fabulous 78 year old!

That’s so exciting, @TopOfTheCliff Congratulations. I’m sure you will be an excellent and much loved granny. It’s true there’s a lot of chat about difficult grandparents and MILs on here. But I think the thing about trying to learn anything about appropriate behaviour from threads on here is that there’s so much variation. One person’s ’perfectly normal’ is another’s ‘totally inappropriate’. Which I guess is a lesson in itself! Wishing you lots of lovely cuddles

Congrats to you and your DD @TopOfTheCliff

Thanks very much @SierraSapphire I found that too and tried one place though the way she phrased it was like if you absolutely have no alternative we will help via charity. Its £450 otherwise and 2 sessions both of which are no swimming for 3 weeks after. I'm not sure how bothered I am at the moment but no rush.

I also felt like that after going back to hospital @Dotty2. The appointment was fine and lovely to catch up but afterwards I remembered she mentioned I had a dimple in reconstructed breast, she didn't seem concerned at all but I had a dimple when I had breast cancer so it made me a bit jittery. The trouble was she was a breast surgeon so presumably should know if something looks cancerous but it was a check on how surgery had gone. It seems a bit confusing online if you are supposed to get things like that in reconstructed breast checked out, it did come pretty quickly after surgery so I think its related to surgery but as I had 3 cancers in that breast before I am a bit wary but oth I really don't want to go back to hospital.

Glad you are have a nice time @thesandwich

Just house stuff here and a lovely trip to the spa just for the evening. Bathroom is now painted twice and only a few finishing touches needed.

Congratulations @TopOfTheCliff! What a lovely distraction from everything, enjoy this new phase of life!

Sorry @dotty2 I meant to respond to you when you posted, that’s crap to have reassurance but then have it brought up again, it does sound like it’s nothing but that’s always the what if…?

I’ve got a few unrelated health niggles that I probably should get checked out, but I just can’t bear to, and when you’ve been through so much investigation already, taking time out for a whole load of new things and also the medical trauma is just too much, I feel this is massively unrecognised by medical professionals.

Thanks folks x It’s a joy to see my DD so happy and doing so well with her little family. Heart warming!
My sore swollen knee has prompted me to get a blood test to check out arthritis. All seems to be normal so far, I am watching the Results app but not expecting anything from the GP. Luckily the knee is recovering now, but it has made me slow down and rest a bit which is frustrating. I know I have a slow burning sero- negative arthritis in lots of joints similar to my DM, DA and DSis. I guess that’s just aging and I should be grateful I have survived cancer long enough to complain about it! You are right though @SierraSapphire it takes a whole lot of courage to activate the Health care system in case they find something I don’t want to know about. I think I have become much more of a hypochondriac since Cancer. I shall take a leaf out of DHs book and just refuse to address things until I have to!
@MrsPengiuins I have decided to follow your example too and work on my house and garden to make it nicer to live in. Doing my own cleaning is definitely paying off as I am tidying and sorting as I go unlike the cleaner. I’ve been hanging pictures and chucking old stuff enthusiastically. Hooray! This bad weather is keeping me indoors working hard.

@TopOfTheCliff congratulations! What a lovely piece of news! Enjoy your grandparent years!

I too have to go back to the chemo ward in Jan for zoledronic acid - not looking forward to that drive, parking situation and then the smell of the ward. I have a number of what I call “medical admin” appointments next week - no actual treatment just a check up, a chat and Zoladex. Oooh what fun.

On the up side the long awaited puppy arrives today. He’s adorable. We’re in love already.

Congratulations on the puppy @Littlecaf Hurray for new arrivals and new beginnings. It’s our first proper weekend as empty nesters (not counting the last two as DH was ill for one and dd1 came home for a night last weekend). We had a day out in the Peak District today and did a beautiful but pretty challenging walk. I was pleased with my level of fitness and grateful DH is still well enough, 5 years after his PD diagnosis to climb hills with me.

Well done on the walk @dotty2 and lovely picture.

Great to have a new puppy @Littlecaf Hope he brings lots of fun, sure he will.

Glad cleaning and house is going well @TopOfTheCliff

I am similar on the health niggles, also every symptom under the sun is possible and its balancing not living in hospital and getting checked enough.

Just more house stuff here. Kitchen ceiling painted, worktop reoiled, living room wall painted and cleared leaves in garden and a few things cleared through. Rather dull but good to cross those off the list. DH was very excited in the garden that we have a new plant coming into flower - I am not sure what it is looks a bit like a gladoli. We have berries on 2 trees and quite a few flowers out still and the solar dandelions came on. DS is still in the garden a fair amount. I got him some winter clothes, some borg hoodies which he has been wearing, new shoes and also some hot chocolate and Turkish delights. Another fruit and veg collection with DS continuing his impressive almost 1kg of fruit a day eating.

@MrsPengiuins I am making inroads into the vegetable glut now. I’ve made soup most days this week. Romanescu leek and Stilton anybody? DH is complaining about the farting but it’s nice healthy autumn food.
My blood tests came back reassuringly normal. No gout or inflammation and the diabetes and cholesterol checks were normal. I am glad my GP thought to check them.
I managed a couple of shortish bike rides including a hilly 15 miles yesterday. My knee is getting better slowly, the swelling is almost gone.
Because I have been resting my weight has crept up again. I had reached a nice balance of calories and exercise and it needs recalibrating.
Meanwhile DD is doing well with my DGS who is feeding voraciously. He is a strong minded little chap and very healthy but that is quite tiring for her. Happily she is well supported and surrounded by love and home cooked food! Tomorrow my DM91 is coming over to meet him. Exciting times!
It is nice to reflect that these happy times with a new baby balance out the tough times with cancer and bereavement. When in the middle of the shitty bits it is hard to remember that the sun will come out again. It’s been a long wait but life is good now.
Hope the rest of you are thriving and half term is a chance to spend time with your favourite people.

@TopOfTheCliff congratulations on the baby news, that's lovely.

The puppy is gorgeous @Littlecaf

Great photo @dotty2, it's good to hear of everyone's adventures, though sorry to hear your check up was frustrating.

@SummerCycling you asked a little while ago when I had my last phesgo, it was a year ago (to the day I think). In the last few months my hair and nails seem to have started growing more, which is a welcome development (nose hair not so much).

I generally feel quite positive but then every now and then see a news story etc which makes me feel less so. It doesn't help that my feed is always full of cancer articles. I saw one on post partum bc recently which seemed a bit gloomy and wish I hadn't read it.

I hope everyone is doing okay.

My brachial plexus (arm nerve) scan was clean of anything sinister - eg bone mets/tumours pressing on nerves etc , so that’s good. But I’ve had to chase the BCNs about what I actually do about the pain and the numbness. I’m sure it’s a complaint we all have but oncologists aren’t very good at helping you deal with the side effects of cancer treatment - I said to my BCN that I need to know for my own health what is wrong with my arm, not just that it’s doesn’t have cancer - she was a bit confused as to why I wanted to know - because it hurts and I sometimes I can’t use it properly!

However they have referred me to the menopause clinic that’s attached to the breast care centre - so that’s good news - but again, I had to ask for it and I only knew about it because a friend told me they had one! It’s a whole host of navigating new areas of the NHS I haven’t needed previously.

Hope everyone had a good weekend / week.

Nothing too exciting here - just lots of house and garden stuff. Set up the new stove in the living room, have had a complete review of DSs clothes and got new things and cleared out old, gardened today for 3.5 hours for DH and silkies - raking the leaves, lawn seed, bulbs and cutting back some plants then cleaned downstairs.

@Littlecaf I still have numbness in my right armpit and when I overuse that arm I get pain. Sometimes the nerve buzzes too, like an electric current. I find a hot wheat bag and some paracetamol help but it just seems to be collateral surgical damage. I outsource washing the car but am back cleaning windows and knitting, both of which aggravate it.
You are right about the lack of interest in survivors woes. We are hugely grateful to be alive but battered by the side effects of the treatment. I have a friend who had deep radiotherapy fifty years ago for lymphoma, and is now struggling with lung and heart damage. The oncologists have never seen anybody in her situation before!
@MrsPengiuins does your DS have opinions on what he wears? Mine was very fierce and would only wear orange at 5, and black and white as a teen. He is much more relaxed at 30! I saw him yesterday with his DF planning wedding stuff and Christmas., which was lovely. He has been down to worship his DN who is doing well.
It’s gone a bit quiet here, which is probably a good sign and means everybody is getting on with their lives. Have a good week folks.

I'm still following along with this thread.

For the past week or two I've developed awful fatigue - back to falling asleep in the afternoon and then sleeping 9 hours or more at night, and still being tired in the morning 😔 It's rather put the kibosh on doing nice stuff! Plus I've got really bad back ache, but I don't know why. Don't feel myself at all. Just happen to have an appointment with my surgeon (who diagnosed my cancer) tomorrow, so I'm going to ask him about all of this.

@BatshitCrazyWoman hope your surgeon is helpful. Completely get the reluctance to get niggles checked out. Just being out of the cycle of appointments/ waiting etc is lovely.
A few days away in the Peak District - lunch with some lovely friends today which was great. Dear friend’s partner is going through all the investigations/ possibilities and uncertainties at the moment. Trying to support with and balance the need to discuss and escape from it all.

Thanks @thesandwich . The Peak District sounds lovely

Surgeon is referring me back to my oncologist to see if he wants to do a scan. Just waiting for my first mammogram after diagnosis now 😬

Good news is that my mammogram and ultrasound were clear (I'm doing it all privately, so I'm given the results straight away). Now just waiting for the oncologist to get back to me. And trying not to think too hard about it!

That’s good news at least @BatshitCrazyWoman