The Great Recovery part 4

[TopOfTheCliff]

Time for a new thread. Welcome aboard!

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!
Here are some resources we found helpful:
The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis
Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf
Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/
Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward
Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html
Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/
Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients
Any more suggestions? Post them below
There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Lovely to read updates and nice adventures. My week has included afternoon tea and tour by the owner at a nearby stately pile which was lovely, visiting a lovely friend in the lakes on a beautiful clear blue day, and a cinema showing of Cinderella by the royal ballet, which was wonderful. The nutcracker is coming v soon- would really reccomend.https://www.rbo.org.uk/tickets-and-events/live-in-cinemas-the-nutcracker-details

There has also been routine shopping and admin too!

How is everyone doing? I am a bit under-employed at the moment (freelance) so I’m more ahead than normal with Christmas prep. I’m a bit stressed about plans for Christmas Day which involve trying to juggle the needs and wants of an elderly MIL, young adult DDs, and an awkward and ungrateful (single) Dsis. I have lost my own needs and wants in the middle of all that and one of my DDs sadly said the other day that the best Christmas we ever had was the one during chemo when it was just the four of us.

I’m trying really hard to shift some weight and have made hardly any progress. Depressing how much harder it is than it used to be. More positively I think I should hit my target of 6000 lengths swimming this year. Only 448 to go which feels doable.

excited to have DD2 home from uni this weekend, though expect she will want to
sleep and chill.

Hi @dotty2 thanks for checking in. Well done getting ahead on Christmas, and well done for all the swimming. It’s a long slow haul to get fit again!
I also loved the lockdown quiet Christmases during chemotherapy, except for the year my soon to be ex-friend gave us Covid! I have learned from that that although my natural instinct is to herd all the family into my dining room and stuff them with food it is exhausting and not very rewarding. Last year the DC were all away so DH and I went for a bike ride with a flask of mulled wine and mince pies. It was lovely! We may do the same this year as I am cooking for the family on Xmas Eve and SIL quite possibly prefers Xmas day at home by herself in front of her TV. Boxing Day will be a team effort over at DMs house.
I have been loving my new role as doting Granny. Yesterday DD and I went to the beach with baby and dog and walked and had hot chocolate in the sunshine. Today I popped over and cleaned her house for her, then cuddled the baby while she did jobs she wanted to do. Bliss! He is starting to smile and coo, and of course he is adorable!
When I wrote my Christmas letters I realised that 2025 has been a good year, with no broken bones and lots of lovely family events that make me happy. I’ve just got three weeks to get through without falling off anything. Fingers Crossed!

That all sounds wonderful @thesandwich Glad everything is going well for you.

Well done on the swimming @dotty2 and will be lovely to have your DDs home soon.

Lovely to be enjoying granny outings @TopOfTheCliff Great that 2025 has been a good year and here's to another good year for us all in 2026. I also loved 2025.

Went to Botanic gardens Christmas lights on Sunday and had tartiflette and mulled wine and a lovely walk around the gardens. Have got a real Christmas tree and new lights and have put it up and watered it though the cat drank some of its water! Currently watching Celebrity Race Around the World and daydreaming about an adventure. DD is home on Saturday - she went to a white tie ball last weekend and has a boat club dinner tomorrow night. We have painted the walk in cupboard, put on the new William Morris duvet, put up the velvet William Morris curtains in the dining room and cleaned DDs room, washed her duvet and some of her clothes that the builders got dusty and moved anything out that wasn't hers that ended up in there when the builders were here. Getting the fruit and veg from farm shop tomorrow and got 4 boxes of cakes for DDs return / Christmas today though DS has eaten one box of macarons. I have had some Christmas cake and a mince pie.

Hope everyone will have a nice weekend.

My Christmas plans are also slightly chaotic, only the second year I’m not looking after DPs, we’re going to see my cousins and aunt on Christmas Day, which I’m quite looking forward to but I think DD is doing a bit under sufferance, especially since the pub that one of my cousins has chosen looks a bit rubbish (My other cousin also thinks it’s a bit rubbish!) I don’t mind that, and I’m happy to do something different. It feels freeing not to have to look after somebody else and to get my Christmas around them, but other than Christmas morning it feels like we don’t really have any traditions which can be a bit unsettling. DD is likely to have to work many future Christmases. At work half of the office is doing no work it seems and decorating their desks, and the other half (including me and my team) is too busy to do this. I do wonder what the local press would make of a local public service taking half a day off to decorate our desks, but there we go, bah humbug!

I had a cough and a cold that went on for ages, so I’m just getting back into exercising this week, which has felt okay, but it is difficult to get back into a routine. Work takes over quite a lot of my life, but I have asked to reduce my hours a little bit which will make a difference.

Hello all! I've not posted on here for ages, I think since my disastrous reconstruction attempt in June. My right implant had to be removed (long story 🙄), it was a relief actually after two years of hell and I now use a foam insert in my bra. The chicken fillet they gave me looked ridiculous as it didn't match my left implant which is much perkier 😅

I had my first proper haircut this week 😱 I've let my hair grow for a whole year (it's been two years since chemo) and my hairdresser was nearly in tears of joy as she was the one who shaved my head back in September 2023 (she's also a close friend and said it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do).

Life's still tough with the Zoladex and Letrozole 😖 but I'm really fit at the moment and actually look better than I did before the diagnosis. Last lot of scans came back clear, just have the pleasure of the Zometa infusions every six months.

The stupid anxieties never go away though do they. On Thursday I found a really sore, hard lump on my arm and spent the whole day panicking before realising it was from the flu jab two days previously 🤣 I was about to ring my oncologist for an emergency appointment 🤦

Hello again everyone. I feel like I’ve had a couple of normal weeks of work and running around after the kids, plus a nice weekend away with a friend last weekend (who just talked about herself the whole time, a massive distraction for me!) Also had my work Xmas do which is usually half fun half work (nice meal somewhere local & a visit to somewhere interesting, we’re a big team, we have lots of cultural contacts) This is local government so all paid for by us personally. It was nice to catch up with people properly, although no hangover this year - chemo has totally ruined the thought of anything alcoholic! I’m also off to the Thames Barrier next week in a visit we’re calling “let’s see how much London will flood by 2050! Should we be worried - erm yes!”

I’ve got lots of medical appointments coming up before Xmas - 1st mammogram post surgery, oncology appointment (not sure why, do they keep checking up with you regularly even if there’s nothing to report?) physio x 2. Do people find comfort in continuing to be on their books so to speak?

Hi @PollyCreo it sounds like you are ending the year on the up. Would you go back for more surgery or are you done now?

@Littlecaf now you are moving on a bit you may find you don’t want to be dragged back to Cancerland by appointments. I persuaded everybody to discharge me and agreed I would call in if I had any concerns. I have two or three more mammograms to go I think, then I will presumably be on normal three yearly recall until I am 70.
I have about three weeks of Exemestane left to take then I will run out. It will be five years since surgery for BC no 1 and I am minded to finish treatment. There doesn’t seem to be any formal conversation about when to stop hormone blockers but initially they said five years if I could tolerate it, and I have done.

I am just back from visiting DM91. I went over to put up her Christmas tree and decorate it, bullied her into writing some Christmas cards and ate two hot meals with her. She is very forgetful but the letter came for her Memory Clinic assessment which is timely. My DB will probably take her for the appointment. He does all the serious stuff and I get to be the fun one!
In the next week I have three different sports club Christmas meals, then I shall go into seclusion to avoid flu before Christmas. Things are shaping up nicely for a happy family time and I don’t want to miss out.

I don't know. I've taken a break from the surgery, it's destroyed me TBH. My oncologist did say he could refer me to a different plastic surgeon for a second opinion but I don't think I could face any more surgery and pain. I'm actually quite content with my padded bra 😅

I'm glad you're feeling content @PollyCreo , that's a good place to be, and I can quite see why you don't want more surgery and pain!

@Littlecaf my oncologist sees me every three months (radiotherapy finished before Easter, Herceptin in October). I had my final ECG (because of the Herceptin) last week. I had my first mammogram and ultrasound post diagnosis and treatment at the beginning of last month, all okay. Good luck 🤞🏻 with yours.

I did get referred for a PET CT scan as I've had terrible back pain (never had it before). Not a recurrence of cancer, but degenerative endplate changes and lots of inflammation, probably caused by Tamoxifen. No treatment except painkillers (which don't help 😕). I'll be back with the physio in the new year, to learn how to manage it. Because of the pain I stopped working out because it made it worse, so I need to work something out! Will also be restarting Pilates in the new year.

Otherwise, I've been gadding about to the theatre, exhibitions and weekends (and weeks) away. It's been lovely, although I'm a bit behind with Christmas prep 😂 I'm away again just before Christmas, and am singing in a concert in a couple of weeks 🙂

@PollyCreo I had a whole episode about six months after chemo ended where I thought there was blood in my urine and it set off a whole train of events, including a biopsy on granulation tissue, when it turned out to be that I had overdosed on pink B12 tablets 😂. To be fair, the biopsy probably would’ve happened eventually anyway, but still….

I am also not a fan of the follow-ups @Littlecaf! I find it difficult to even drive past the hospital let alone actually go in. I’m 3 1/2 years out now, out of the danger zone for endometrial cancer recurrence, and my CA125 has been stable at around five or six ever since my hysterectomy so it also seems unlikely that my tiny spot of ovarian cancer has spread. I think, if I had my old consultant who was disengaged and didn’t really do anything test-wise, I perhaps would’ve been tempted like you @TopOfTheCliff to discharge myself, but the consultant I have now is lovely and engaged and interested in how my life is not just how my vagina is!

I’ve just got over one virus and back into exercise and now I’ve woken up feeling like it’s coming back or I’ve got a different one, which is really bloody annoying! I’ve got cardio tennis in a bit if the rain holds off, then DD is back, she’s at her boyfriends at the moment, but I’ll see her mid-morning.

Thanks all - I might ask my oncologist what the plan is for follow ups going forward as I can’t deal with the brown NHS envelope dropping on the mat with yet another appointment or scan and me wondering if they’ve changed their mind that I’m cancer free and just don’t want to ring me. Or yet another appointment about another drug. Dunno why they just don’t email me! That sounds paranoid but I think once you’ve had a shock then you know it can happen again! If I can anticipate the appointments then I can minimise the stress.

@TopOfTheCliff I’m on exemestane too and gosh all my joints hurt! Swimming helps. Onco said 5 years (I’ve done 7 months) but I think one letter said 10 years. My ER was only 3/4 so not sure why it would be longer especially when the lead oncologist said it wasn’t essential. Well done for doing 5 years! If I can get to 5 years then I’m doing good!

Glad you are getting fit @PollyCreo

Good to be reducing hours @SierraSapphire

Lovely to have DD back, got her back from Oxford yesterday. We managed to get her windows painted the night before and new curtains on both her windows which she seems to like. Today DH and I were cleaning downstairs as DS had got it rather muddy again, 2 and a quarter hours later with both of us downstairs is looking good. Just ordering the presents for Christmas, we will just have a quiet one at home with the 4 of us and the cat and chickens.

Waiting for test results is brutal @Littlecaf- I have to say, I’ve been tempted to put my head in the sand about it all at times. I actually wouldn’t like to receive emails because I get those at any point on my phone when I’m out and about, at least with letters I can control when I worry about getting them. I hate the couple of weeks after a test while I’m just waiting to see if the phone is going to ring. I am still scared of the post though, even though there’s no reason to receive anything at all at the moment, I hate going to look to see what’s there.

Another weird thing about boundaries, is that I always get called by my full name in hospital, which nobody calls me the rest of the time. I once commented to somebody that they always ask for the name that I like to be called by and I write the short version of my name, but nobody ever calls me by it. She did then call me by it and I found I hated it, I prefer to have a hospital name and a rest of my life name so I can differentiate those two people!

I totally get that @SierraSapphire . When they call me FullName I think “ Oh poor old FullName having to go through all that horrible stuff, I am glad Shortname escaped it”. It’s funny the tricks we can play on ourselves!
All well here. Hiding indoors from Storm Bram and tidying up and decorating the house.

Oh lordy @SierraSapphire 🫣😂 I'm sure our oncologists are used to patients like us. I had a chest x-ray as part of my pre op checks in June before my (failed) reconstruction. I was handed the x-ray in an envelope to pass onto a different department at the hospital but I opened it and wondered why there was a white shadow at the bottom of one side. I spent two days panicking while I was waiting for the plastic surgeon to confirm a date, thinking I had lung cancer. I asked him and he said 'Err, that's your heart'. FFS, I did A Level Biology 🤣

@PollyCreo I did something similar - I ended up in a&e during chemo because I had a chest infection that wouldn’t shift - they x rayed my chest and while I was talking to the doctor about the results I could see the image on his computer. I went quiet and he asked what the matter was. I pointed at the white blob on the screen and he said “that’s your heart”.

Lol. I thought your heart was in the middle of your chest but the beat was felt to the left, now we know differently 🙃

Funny the things you learn when you're ill 😁

LOL at the heart thing! It’s a classic example of the cancer anxiety making us assume everything is the worst possible scenario. Talking of which, does anyone else find that they have kind of second hand health anxiety? Our cat currently seems to have a bit of a sore mouth. He’s eating and grooming normally and has been checked by the vet who spotted some mouth ulcers but couldn’t find any underlying cause. He said he thought he’d probably been in contact with something irritant and his very words were ‘I am almost certain it’s not cancer’ (oral cancers are v common in cats and sadly our last cat died with it during my chemo). But in spite of what he said, I’m convinced he has cancer that just wasn’t big enough to spot and feel sad every time I look at him. I’m quite rational and philosophical in most areas of my life but this is definitely a problem for me.

Hi all. I've been reading these recovery threads and feel encouraged, thank you so much.

I got recalled after a routine mammogram in July, ILC ER+ PR+ HR2-, had surgery then radiotherapy, anastrozole 5 years. I think all pretty standard for being caught early and I'm aware that I've been very lucky (discounting getting cancer in the first place). I've been fortunate to have had no terrible side effects. I had a horrible menopause 10 years ago, partially sorted by hrt, so stopping that and the AIs have not been fun but I experimented and found fluoxetine every other day sorts the mood swings and I can live with the rest (thanks to calendar reminders). Like many of you I am exercising and eating well, I've just read Ultra Processed People which has put me right off many foods I have been tempted by in the past which is helpful for my health campaign and losing a bit of weight.

Early on I showed my DH a picture of a rather excellent tropical fruit hat posted by @TopOfTheCliff . He said he was sure he recognised her! No idea where from though. It has become apparent we live in the same area so given he's a retired GP, a sailor and a cyclist I guess it's likely your paths have crossed at some point 🙂

It's so good to hear about people being positive after their ordeals. I feel like I'm coming out of a very surreal few months (lots of elderly parent issues too, hi @thesandwich ) and starting to believe the future is good. In fact I feel healthier than I did before diagnosis (I miss oestrogen but it seems progesterone affected me more than I knew).

So thank you again, reading the 4 threads has been incredibly helpful.

@LknCheese welcome and pleased you’re past the nasty bit and onto the road of bumpy recovery. My motto is “you’ll get there” Im not sure where I’m going but I am at least going forward.

@dotty2 yes I do have second hand health anxiety. The kids have been to more GP appointments this year than ever before. I’m a bit of a “watch and wait” kinda parent. Now I’m much more likely to drag them down the surgery!

Hello @LknCheese welcome to a very supportive and friendly thread. Sorry you’re dealing with elderlies as well- hope you able to put yourself first.
All good here- some lovely adventures including a visit to stunning Chatsworth, and catching up with friends. A quietish Christmas planned with lots of family get togethers after( none hosted by me for a change! )

Welcome @LknCheese

Chatsworth sounds wonderful @TheSandwich Its quite a trek from here but we went in the summer and it was magnificent.

@dotty2 I tend to be mostly completely la-la-la about health things but when I do think of them I get anxious and a bit incapable of rational thought. Luckily that doesn't happen that often. At the moment I sometimes dwell on the dent I had in the reconstructed breast, as my cancer had a dent, its underneath so doesn't bother me appearance wise but sometimes it feels like a hard lump there as well. In theory you can't get cancer there and when I looked it up, it might well be fat necrosis but I have sent a message on Mycharts to the team as they will be more sensible than me.

Hope everyone is having a good weekend and ready or close to it for Christmas. We have had a lovely day out, went to a 1940s cafe in Norfolk and then went to Horsey Beach to see the seals and seal pups, about a mile of them. We've been every December since 2022 and its a lovely day out if you catch a sunny day.

DD has gone to an all night party and is on about entering a half iron man. I am envious of her energy levels!

Life is ridiculous isn't it. Your boobs can end up killing you, what's that all about?