Squamous Cell Carcinoma of the Tonsil and lymph node cncer in neck - anyone got any experience of it please?

[UniversallyChallenged]

Would appreciate anyone's experience

Thanks

No probs UC, it will prob be thurs before I can reply. Is that ok.

Yes thats fine, you're a star!!! Please thank FIL too from Mr UC

Isn't mumsnet fab. So glad you've found someone who can give you exactly the help you need UC.

Hope your FIL stays well trifle.

Too true ajandjjmum - it's a brill site

UC, fil is a tough old bugger and a bit straight down the line in his attitude, and normally very unresponsive to either his own or others feeling.
Anyway he said;
Which was the most painful part after the surgery - he said 'well it wasn't to bad, as they keep you doped for a while!' sorry, but he is that sort of person.
Did he panic with the drains being in when he woke up? - he said, 'no because I knew they would be there, I suppose I had an intial jolt of, oh shit, but I was just pleased to see X' (his GF)
From what day after the surgery did he start to feel better? - he said, 'The next morning I woke up and still felt tired, but felt a lot better and thats how it continued. I was frustrated with the eating bit, and was frustraed with that for a month or two! (christ, neither dp or I had realised that)but basicilaly apart from feeling tired I started to feel better from day two!
I sked him how the radiotherapy left him feeling, - 'well I was lucky they agreed I could have mine at 9am, so I would get home and go to bed until 2 or 3 take the dogs for a walk and wait for X to come home from work.'
I then asked why he hadn't wanted me to drive him in, - he answered 'because trifle I was not a f*invalid'
I made him a cup of tea then and didn't ask him any more. I hope that helps.

I ment to add he wished mr UC the best and said to tell him he will be fine, its not as bad as it looks.

Oh i love those answers! Can just imagine him thinking "it was last year - what on earth is the matter with trifle quizing me like that NOW!"
He sounds my kind of 'get on with it' bloke
Thanks again trifle - Mr UC is a more positive man now and i know all your info has helped xx

High UC, I have to admit that fil is a bit of a bloke, and even though I told him why I was asking, he still looked at me after very question I asked, like durr what do you think !!. Upon saying that he is really concerned for Mr UC (as am I) and we wondered when Mr UC is going in.
I know he will be fine though, fil was given an equally dour prognosis if he wasn't operated on asap and he is very well now.
We took fil in a portable dvd player ... he watched one dvd on rabbiting! that was it!
DP and his bro had gone to visit for a few secs on the day of the op, they said he looked awful. But, dp and I went in the day after and he was sitting up with the drains in and the staples with a white bandage over the top, and a cravat over that, that memory will always make me giggle as fil is so not a cravat sort of bloke, but his lady friend likes that sort of thing , I think that he wore it because he thought we were taking the kids in!
My mam had kidney cancer a few years ago and because its your trunk it is so hard to get up out of bed, she was in bed for 2 or 3 days, she likened it to a csection but worse. Whilst Fil (despite his bravado) wasn't exactly pain free, but .. was sitting up and (very) mildly walking the next day. I think that for him, the catheter was the worse sort of indignity. He was very hoarse for a little while, but a pad of paper and pen as well as sign language helped us past that barrier. I think the worrying bit (for me) was how little food he ate, it wasn't so much that he couldn't swallow it which he did have trouble with but he forced him self, more that he couldn't taste it.
Please let me know how things go, and truly if there is any thing I can ask fil or do to help, please ask (and I MEAN THAT!!).

Thanks so much trifle
I love that image - tough old FIL in a cravate!!! Mr UC has a treat coming his way lol!

He is in hosp now - surgery tomorrow. Very unusual to have it on Sat but apparently so many people being diagnosed with cancer they have added more days to get them all done Am on here trying to keep busy and occupied (and not fall into the wine too much!)

UC hope it goes ok tom for mr uc !

Thanks lilyloo, that's really kind xxx

I missed your message last night, but, I'll be thinking about you today. Its going to be fine you know, he will be sitting up in bed, demanding sherry trifle and banana smoothies before you know it. It will (obviously) hurt as any operation does, but in 6 months, this will all be a bad memory, the only evidence of Mr UC's cancer will be a red taught neck and the chewing gum you are going to be finding down the side of the sofa ... in every pair of trousers he possesses ... blocking up the washing machine ... up the hoover pipe. He'll soon be up and about. I'll be thinking of you, take care and you look after your self you hear.

All day today I have been thinking of you both and your little ones. I hope all has gone well, best of wishes. Trifle.

How did Mr UC op go yesterday, I hope all was well and you are all holding up ok. Love to all of you. Trifle.

Hello UC...........we haven`t met before on here, but I just saw this and wanted to say I hope your Dh makes a full and speedy recovery. We are also going through a scary time. My DH was diagnosed with bowel and liver cancer at the end of March. Hardly has any smptems. Been told its not curable, but treatable. He has just had surgery to remove the primary on the bowel, a week ago he was a weak, invalid, less than three weeks from surgery he is almost back to normal. We have a long road ahead, chemo in a few weeks, further liver surgery, further chemo. Our trio are 10, life is very hard. I pray all will be well for you xxxx

What lovely messages thank you both so so much.

His op went well, surgeon pleased with it. I havent spoken to them yet and have lots of questions. His scars have really shocked me though. Maybe i was silly not to prepare myself better for it, but i really thought they wouldbe covered up. They arent yet, tho i suppose when the drains are out they may cover them.
He is stapled from top of ear to top of breastbone, so not sure if they had to cut out more than at first thought.
He will have to have speech therapy- so glad you said about the speech and tastebuds triflenorks, you are spot on- which for a singer/songwriter is so so cruel, but at least he is here and can talk a bit.
Will know more about the after effects this week i hope when i speak to the surgeon.
Thanks again for your thoughtful comments triplets and so hope things go well with your dh, and your much needed help and experience triflenorks xx

Have they said why they never covered up his operation site. You would of thought that they would of even if it was a loose bandage. Maybe you should consider a cravat before the kids see him. Has the doctor said whether they have got it all out? I am also wondering if your husband had his teeth checked before he had his op, or are they going to do it before his radiotherapy. I was trying to remember when fil had his radiotherapy, dh says it was in the summer, but I thought it was in the spring. (he had his op on the 15th Jan) I know that he had the op and it took a while for the site to heal and get stronger before they started radiotherapy. His speech, like I said was very hoarse and I asked dp earlier why fil had his speech therapy, apparently fil had his, to enable his mouth to make the right shapes to eat more solid food.
cat me if you want, or email me on: cotton flee1 at bt internet dot com.
I hope and pray that yours and triplets husbands get well soon. best of luck, wishes and hugs.

Heh UC, remember I said that fil has really good speach now, he talks with a slight lispy whistle like someone with new teeth, and even that is better than what it was a year ago.

UC glad the op went well , am sure the docotr will answer any questions you have, it's easy to forget though so write them down before you see him.

I hope everything is ok UC.
Best wishes to you, Mr UC and your children. Trifle.

Thanks lovely ladies! Mr UC doing really well. Drains may be out tomorrow and his speech is getting better every day. Surgeon checked him yesterday and was very pleased so all looking good.

He very tired as not able to sleep properly as laying down so hard, but at least his body is resting.

Taking littlest dcs tomorrow so he really looking forward to that. Am sure 10 mins of them will tire him out lol - easy to forget how shattered they make you when you laying in hospital!

That is such good news, its awful when the drains are in isn't it, you just can't stop staring at them which makes for uncomfortable times for every one.
I am so pleased he sounds as if he is doing so well. For all of fil bravado, it takes a long time to feel well, you don't have an op of that magnitude, jump out of bed the next day and do flick flacks down the hall only pausing to kiss the matron.
Of all, its the speach and eating thats important, how is his eating going?
be brave UC, lots of best wishes to you all. Trifle.

Hi,
Glad to hear the op went well. My DH had major bowel surgery three weeks agao yesterday, he has cancer, and for the last week has been in his allotment for 4 hours a day, plus I came home to find he has taken down a garden fence! Its the way he is going to deal with it I guess!

Woo-hoo go Mr Triplets!!!! That's incredible

"you don't have an op of that magnitude, jump out of bed the next day and do flick flacks down the hall only pausing to kiss the matron. " That really made me giggle . Well he certainly aint doing that! Thogh if he is like Mr T(riplets) as we shall call him, he should be soon LOL

eating is ok ish - everything pureed yuk, though he managed a piece of toast yesterday which wore him out with the effort. Speech therapist pleased with him today for doing his exercises, so gold star for him