Sperm cramps

[marshmallow82]

So I noticed my DH (42) in some discomfort around new year and he said his testicles would occasionally ache. I asked a few questions and it seems this can occur a few times a month especially after he has been aroused and things have returned to "normal".
This has been going on for several years and he has never thought to get it seen as there are no other symptoms to worry about (so he says typical man) like lumps or bumps.
I have found a couple of indications this might be something called "sperm cramps" where the testicles struggle to go back to normal after arousal without "release" if you catch my drift.
To be completely honest we haven't been active in the bedroom since around COVID times and I don't think he masturbates and I have certainly never encouraged it as he knows I find it unsettling him doing that.
Is this ok and normal or should I get him to a doctor? We are happy and close on other ways but I worry this might be a major build up.
New account for privacy. Any advice appreciated!

This exactly, OP has essentially said she’s fine with her DH having increased risk of cancer because she’s uncomfortable with sex or him privately masturbating. That’s some seriously disturbing shit and OP needs to really examine why this is.

Do you actually love this man, OP?

Maybe you shouldn't be dictating what he does with his dick in the privacy of his home?

You're priceless OP 🤣

Poor man hasn’t come since Covid!!! Since his late 30’s!!?? WTAF @marshmallow82 the man can masterbate all he needs, he doesn’t need your permission ffs! There’s nothing wrong with masterbating you do know that!??

Your poor husband. How can people live like this?

Is it because you don't want him watching porn? Would you be happy if he wanked otherwise or is it the act of wanking?

@marshmallow82 ‘I thought we were just done with that’ - Covid started 5 years ago so you’re saying that your sex life started dwindling when your husband was 37, you were fine with that, he tried discussing it but you shut it down and made him feel bad about potentially masturbating. Clearly your husband is not ok with the intimacy level in your relationship but you’ve made it impossible for him to discuss that with you.

You might have a very low sex drive and be fine never have sex again but you’ve imposed celibacy on him without do much as a conversation because it ‘wasn’t a conversation I was happy to have’. How is that fair? I get that having conversations about sex can be difficult for some people but you are being entirely selfish by just shutting it down.

Why you’re imposing your thoughts on masturbation on him is bizarre. You can have boundaries in porn use but it’s quite extreme to blanket ban self pleasure because you find it ‘unsettling’.

Given when you’ve written it would imply you have issues around sex and sexual expression. Whether that’s due to your upbringing, religion, past experience or something else you need to be able to have an open and honest conversation with your husband.

You’ve imposed on him a life of celibacy before the age of 40 and don’t even have the courtesy to discuss why or if that’s ok with him.

This! You sound very selfish @marshmallow82

I mean this post has to be a wind up. His body his choice re masturbation and seriously get therapy.

I’m a bit taken aback by what I’ve just read as well, to be honest!

You say “you thought we were just done with that side of things” but the poor man has tried to speak to you about it several times and you won’t engage? How can you be so blind as to not see this is a problem for him?

And just because you feel uncomfortable about masturbation doesn’t mean he isn’t allowed to do it. I sure hope he has regular wanks when you’re not home, Christ the poor guy needs it!

What in the world have I just read?

you thought we were just done with that side of things
sounds like something from 1950, kids are up no more of that carry on

He has tried to bring the subject up in the past but it was never a conversation I was happy to have so we just left it at that.

This, coupled with you not allowing him to masturbate because it ‘unsettles’ you, is insanely controlling, not to mention selfish. Jesus.

You've just read the post of a woman who will, in the not too distant future, be posting again that her husband has left her and that 'all he was bothered about was sex'. She genuinely won't understand why he's left her. And then, there will be subsequent posts about how her 'stbx has moved on so quickly'. And every response will blame him for being a sex pest, thinking with his dick. When all the while it was actually her who couldn't give a single fuck about him or his feelings. He'd given her the kids and the house and the nice lifestyle and that's all she wanted from him. The OP, if not on a windup is a joke and this man should see sense, immediately have a wank, ring a solicitor and get someone who does consider his needs, wants and feelings.

Done with sex at 42?!
He definitely masturbates and that isn't any of your business anyway to be honest.
You don't need to get him to a doctor though, if he's an able bodied adult he can do that himself.

This can't possibly be real.

That's a good chance of that but it certainly isn't the first thread where a partner has been worried about her DH wanking even if it isn't to porn. Some stated it was because he may not be thinking about her ... no love he probably isn't thinking about his controlling partner who wants to police his thoughts while having a lovely relaxing time.

Goodness knows why anyone stays in a relationship where you can't perform normal and necessary bodily functions or have your own thoughts and not even have a conversation about it.

He's in his 40s, his prime, of COURSE he wants sex! No man in their 40s doesn't want sex. That's not normal at all. Most married couples have sex til their 60s and 70s. And beyond. So he'll either masturbate or be getting sex outside of the marriage. He is far, far far too young to be celibate, so you should leave him to find someone sexually compatible or allow an open marriage. Marriage is for sex, otherwise you're just housemates. I think you should got to the drs too, as not wanting sex as a woman in your 40s is definitely not normal so it sounds like you need a real health checkup too, and blood tests.

I hope it isn't real. Neither man or woman not having sex in their 40s is very, very abnormal. And masturbation is extremely healthy and there is no woman or man in their 40s that doesn't do it. I genuinely hope this is a hoax post (I checked and OP has only 2 posts in her name, both on here so its possible its a hoax), otherwise OP is going to be back on here whining that her husband has been having an affair (well, duh!) and won't understand men in the 40s have sexual needs. In fact, I think the fact he hasn't bothered her much about sex is because he is getting it elsewhere.

I can't believe you are forbidding he has a wank! That's so controlling.

I saw this thread earlier and thought it was a misspelling. I see that it isn't.

Can I just say, fucking hell fire.

I saved this thread and very much hoped there would be a deletion message saying OP was a returning troll...

The mysterious "sperm cramps" phenomenon is more commonly known as blue balls, and everyone else on earth has known about it forever; it's not some sort of rare condition. I'm wondering if you were raised in a cult and home-schooled or similar?

No healthy man of 42 is "done with" sex. And the fact that you acknowledge that he has sometimes "been aroused", as well as saying he's tried talking to you about this, shows that you do actually know that.

Of course, when he cheats or leaves, he'll be the monster...

I had that once when I had the clap. Sounds like one of you hasn’t been waiting as long.

I'd say this is a windup.

Or maybe the OP is a member of some weird trad religious cult, and doesn't agree with things like birth control..

ZOMBIE THREAD