Sperm cramps

[marshmallow82]

So I noticed my DH (42) in some discomfort around new year and he said his testicles would occasionally ache. I asked a few questions and it seems this can occur a few times a month especially after he has been aroused and things have returned to "normal".
This has been going on for several years and he has never thought to get it seen as there are no other symptoms to worry about (so he says typical man) like lumps or bumps.
I have found a couple of indications this might be something called "sperm cramps" where the testicles struggle to go back to normal after arousal without "release" if you catch my drift.
To be completely honest we haven't been active in the bedroom since around COVID times and I don't think he masturbates and I have certainly never encouraged it as he knows I find it unsettling him doing that.
Is this ok and normal or should I get him to a doctor? We are happy and close on other ways but I worry this might be a major build up.
New account for privacy. Any advice appreciated!

To be honest I thought we were just done with that really. I have been comfortable with how things are and haven’t gave any thought to sex for a while
I had to scroll back to check OP wasn't 85, what an odd outlook, sex life over at 37!!
Just divorce him , you are controlling and very weird.

IME wet dreams occur with no release after some time.

your DH definitely wanks.

Is it masterbation or porn you have an issue with?

You are incredibly cruel!

I am anti porn but not anti masturbation - the one can happen without the other!

To be honest, if you gave up on sex at 37 it's you that has the problem. You're missing out on so much fun, have a rethink,

I'm starting to think it's not true. No one can be this clueless.

Your husband is not allowed to have sex or a wank and is not allowed to discuss it, and you are ushering him off to see the GP because his balls ache?

It’s got some weird vibes of a Victorian wife being packed off to the asylum for being a hysterical nymphomaniac.

Just coming to say this! Wtf op??

Hi @marshmallow82

If this is genuine and for whatever reason you feel that inspired to get back on the horse.

There is a fantastic Christian friendly intimacy app called Intimately us. It’s fun informative and put intimate connection at the heart of a family.

if this isn’t for you fine but let the poor man crack one off!

Get him to go to the GP it doesn't sound normal. Cancers can be insidious, prostate cancer can be symptomless until it becomes very serious but the test is very simple.

I'm sure he deals with his sexual needs himself whatever you think you know so I doubt that is a factor, many men don't have active sexual partners but manage things OK.

This is literally just blue balls - why on earth don’t you “let” him wank?

Just re read , he's 42!
I don't think he needs to see a Dr I think he needs permission to masturbate and someone to have sex with.
You can't just shut down the conversation because you 'thought you were done with all that '

Your poor husband. If you don’t want to have sex, that’s fine. Don’t. But you don’t dare try to presume you can shame him into what he can and can’t do with his own body. Just because you have an unnatural revulsion to the idea of masturbating it doesn’t mean he should be gate kept by you. Unsettled. I don’t say this lightly but get a grip of yourself woman. Leave the man alone and stop trying to sexually control him that’s dreadful. It’s literally abuse. Taken aback indeed! You shouldn’t just be taken aback you should be deeply deeply ashamed of yourself. You need to get some therapy for your insecurities.

This. Bloody hell.

What. The. Fuck.

Curious to know why you thought you were done with sex..? Have you never enjoyed it? Personal but relevant. Have you ever climaxed? Be honest with yourself about why you do not enjoy it. Perhaps you need counselling to pick apart shame and repression, perhaps you haven’t found what is physically enjoyable to you, or perhaps you truly are Asexual. Regardless, you can’t expect your husband to be done with sex altogether. That’s surely not why he got married.

It could be time to get back to the basics, stop thinking about “sex” and focus on sharing intimacy and basic pleasure.

Even more so you cannot shut down communication about this vital topic. He needs to be able to discuss his needs, you not allowing him to even talk is abusive. You need to find your own answers.

And this is why sex workers exist...

You need some sort of counselling and stop 'banning' your husband from masturbating - not that I can see how you could.

You have some very odd ideas around sex that are not normal

Let him wank.

I thought we were done with poor sex Ed in the 90s, and yet...

Poor bloke. He must be bursting!

With all due respect, I have no idea why this man is still with you.

You haven't had sex in 4 years, you refuse to discuss it with him and you also have made it clear that you don't like him masturbating because it 'unsettles' you?

You also say that you are aware prostate cancer is more likely if there is not regularly ejaculation, but you seemingly don't care?

Like a PP said, he needs a doctor, and then he needs a solicitor. You sound controlling and awful.

I think he needs to masterbate why not encourage this, it's a normal thing, why should you be bothered poor husband.

No this is why divorce exists.

No, what he really needs is to leave OP.

A man of 42yrs old, who still has sexual urges, should not be resigned to a sexless relationship with a controlling partner at the age of 38. If it was a woman, we'd be telling her to leave.

Bloody hell. No. This is why divorce exists.