OJ 's HUGS, RUM & CHOCCIE SUPPORT THREAD

[bossybritches]

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So to read you will be snuggling up with Steve tonight.

Like others, I haven't posted before, but I have followed your story and I can't believe how your MIL is behaving! I think you have been fantastic, far better than I would be in your situation. You mustn't feel guilty, just concentrate on yourself and your family now, everyone else can look after themselves.

My thoughts are with you all.
xx

Thinking of you OJ and crying at the unfairness of it all. I hope that you and Steve share a wonderful snuggly night in his vibrating bed. x

Just checking in OJ. Sounds like a good idea to have your SW there whenever MIL comes to visit - then (unless Steve wants you to hold his hand) you don't have to accompany MIL all the time - the SW can keep an eye on things for you.

lots of love
xx

There is no getting through to some people. MIL thinks this is all about her. She is losing a son which she thinks superceeds someone losing the man they chose to love and have children with.

well i have had a snuggle with steve but he is reatless tonight so i have let him have the bed to himself.
Steve asked me tonight if i had some money so that he could give it to the carer so that he could buy me some flowers, bless him this sort of thing is typical of steve he is so lovely and thoughtful, i can't think about being without him.

you are spot on NAB that is just how she sees it and i don't think she will ever change cos she doesn't want to

Oh that is so sweet about the flowers - please do give the carer some money for them (or buy them yourself) and show Steve what you got - that is so lovely

Night night sweetheart xx

He is such a sweetie isn't he. I
I will ensure he gets to buy me flowers, he is settled again now so I am gonna grab some sleep.

Night OJ. hope you get some good rest.
You are an amazing strong woman. It really makes all my gripes fade in significance.

How lovely of Steve to think of buying you flowers . May be an idea to press a few of these for a nice memory too. Hope Steve slept well and you had a restful night too. Hope you all have a good day. Thinking of you all as always. Love to you all xx

I see I am not the only one up then.
good idea about the flowers.
elliot has been awake for a while coughing, I will have to get up with him soon.

I like to get up early so can have a bit of wakey time on my own to get my head together and plan the day ...before the herd get up and noise levels go through the roof and my brain does not get thinking time ..
Hope Elliot is feeling ok?
How is your tummy OJ..is it any better? ..no wonder your IBS is flaring up. Look after yourself..hard to I know but do try..{{huggles for OJ}} x

Hi OJ

Your MIL really is a piece of work isn't she?

I think in the long run you are too nice to stop her seeing Steve. I think it would play on your mind too much afterwards.

I think the SW needs to sit her down and tell her what's what and that you COULD ban her totally.

Maybe you could tell Mike that the SW has suggested that you ban MIL as it is unsettling Steve they can't see any benefits.

Do you think she realises how little time is left? Do any of them?

It is so horrible that you have all this to deal with on top of the complete trauma of losing your beloved Steve.

I did get up to do elliot ventolin elliot sent me back to bed and brought me coffee. Steve still asleep and the girls are still in bed thou beth is awake and watching in the night garden. So I will lay here a few mins more, it is staff handover at 8 and patrick our weekend carer will have a lot to catch up on and they always notice thechanges more when they havent been for a week.

Morning Oj hope Steve has got some rest and you too.

I got a tear in my eye when you said about the flowers.

Hope Beth enjoyed her no uniform day yesterday.

Love and good wishes x

OJ Elliot sounds fab! How lovely of him to send you back to bed and bring you coffee. You should be very proud of him.

elliot loves to make people drinks, he loves to come and have a snuggle with me and I love it too.
I didnt sleep well last night I am worried about Steve each day he gets worse at night time I go throu the day in my head so I end up worried all night.
I am worried about what MIL will do next, she has approached all the professionals that she can and a solicitor she still hasnt got her own way, my worry is that some years ago she mentioned reporting someone she was. Cross with to social services, I wouldn't put it past her to report me to the kids SW just to be nasty, she knows that would really hurt me.

Even if she does report you OJ enough professionals have seen her in action - she wouldn't have a leg to stand on!

If she reported you to SW it would be dismissed out of hand. Enough professionals have seen you and your family recently to have a bloody good idea of what a lovely parent you are and what a bat your MIL is.

Would it help if you talked to Mike and asked him to intercede? He sounds the most reasonable of the bunch. Surely he can see that what your mother in law is doing is disrupting steve's last weeks.

if she does make a complaint then it will have to be investigated, luckily for us we have very good relationships with the kids SW and the kids school and in fact everyone who has ever been involved with our kids and us and althou any claims would have to be looked at i know there is nothing at all that Social services could find that would lead them to take any action, now if they were to look at MILs parenting they would be kept very
entertained busy.

I think your Mil needs some sort of mental treatment.Lock her up and throw the key away .Even though i am a quite passive person her behavoir does not make sense.Does she feel better by putting other people down,even if you have only done your best it makes her feel better about her self . I had a relative like that .couldnnt see or didnt want to see the good in any 1.Mil must have a complex about her self if all she can do is critize and put people down.Her loss as she will not have many people left to have a go at .So sad she has chosed to have a go at you.STUPID BITCH.Mil i mean.dont know how she can sleep at night.Mil should be pround of you ,how you are coping

Morning OJ.
I'm so sorry to hear about all the trouble with MIL the witch
I would seriously consider banning her, but I know it must be hard. Would Steve care if she came again or not? What's right for you and Steve is the most important x x