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OJ 's HUGS, RUM & CHOCCIE SUPPORT THREAD

1001 replies

bossybritches · 29/04/2008 22:34

Log in here to donate & update with OJ

OP posts:
BreeVanderCampLGJ · 06/05/2008 22:05

Oh darling girl.

This is not Steve, physically it is, but at times likes those, the essence of Steve is temporarily missing.

onlyjoking9329 · 06/05/2008 22:15

This is all so fecking hard and sad and bloody unfair, it is hard enough to see steve dying but to see him so different is at times just too much to bear, all the crap from his family is getting to me, i can't sleep or eat at the moment and just walk around in a trance most of the time.
i have nightmares about the funeral where i stand up to speak and his family are heckling from the back "he never loved you"
how am i gonna get throu this how am i gonna give steve the best that he deserves when i am running on empty when my heart feels so broken and i see the fear in his eyes?

winebeforepearls · 06/05/2008 22:19

sweetheart, I'm so sorry. It's shit. But you giving him the best right now by everything you are doing for him.

Is there anyone who can come over just to be with you for a few days at the moment? Just to help you through this crappy time? or to fend off his family?

xxxxxxxxxxxx

winebeforepearls · 06/05/2008 22:20

you are

winebeforepearls · 06/05/2008 22:27

I hope BVP is in touch tonight, otherwise if you need to vent I'm around til late.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 06/05/2008 22:39

They only kick off in private, they will not kick off at the funeral.

I know you are tired, and that colours your judgment, but you have not let Steve down up to now, and I really can not see you doing so any time soon.

WendyWeber · 06/05/2008 22:40

You are giving him the best he deserves, oj

Please please promise that when the time comes around you will tell us when and where so that loads of us can be there to support you.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 06/05/2008 22:44

Right, I am off to bed.

I will take the phone with me, anytime after 5.15 I am normally super awake, so if you need someone to rant to that early I am your gal.

Much love

LGJ

xxxx

triflenorks · 06/05/2008 22:50

OJ, you are loved by Steve. The Steve he was and the Steve he is now. No one else knows him like you and no one loves him like you. He is proud of you ... I know we all are.

Miaou · 06/05/2008 22:51

((((((((((OJ))))))))))) this must be so hard. We are with you (metaphorically) holding your hands, remember that

berolina · 06/05/2008 22:53

Just looking in and I'm so sorry this is so hard. I am dreadfully useless and never know what to say which might even begin to help, so i will just send thoughts and keep hovering as a wholly ineffectual but benign presence.

Weegiemum · 06/05/2008 23:08

totally ineffextual, but wanted you to know we are thinking of you. You are amazing!

lucyellensmum · 06/05/2008 23:13

OJ - meds were a big issue for my dad too, you mustn't take it personally, Steve is hitting out at his situation and the closest person to him, because that is all he can hit out, poor man, poor you - but he is lucky to have you, and you him. Does that make any sense, cos im proper tired .

Would it be possible, or too painful, or too unaware to discuss the funeral with Steve? Just so you know what he might like to happen. My uncle wanted half of his ashes to be buried in Jamaca as that was their favourite holiday spot, the other half were let off in a firework on the beach outside his beachhut It was what he wanted so thats what his family did. The only reason i ask this is that if there are special things you both might like if you have talked about it before hand then you can be more resolute in any dealings with his family of bastards Sorry, if that is not appropriate at this stage.

I went to a christening on Sunday OJ, we had to do that Silent prayer thing, i know you dont do God, im not sure i really do, but i thought about you and your family during that quiet time.

alfiesbabe · 06/05/2008 23:29

OJ I've poured you a sneaky rum and coke ready if you need it.

imaginaryfriend · 07/05/2008 00:11

OJ, you come on here and sound so brave and so humorous. But I'm not surprised you're walking round like a zombie. You're going through so much. I hope you get some rest tonight.

daizydoo · 07/05/2008 06:25

OJ, am thinking of you at this difficult time.

Buda · 07/05/2008 06:34

Oh love - it sounds horrendous that Steve is lashing out at you. The poor man would be horrified to realise. Bastard disease.

Hope you got some sleep.

lizziemun · 07/05/2008 06:38

'oj'

I haven't posted on hear before as i never know to write but yours is always the first and last thread i read just make sue everything is ok and i am sure i am not the only one.

And as for "i have nightmares about the funeral where i stand up to speak and his family are heckling from the back "he never loved you" you will have not only your friends but also either in person or online the whole of mumsnet supportting you and you children where as his family will just be a very small number of selfish people mumbling in the corner to each other their evil, horrible thoughts.

Hope you had an ok night.

lizziemun · 07/05/2008 06:39

who's sue that should be sure

kid · 07/05/2008 06:42

lizziemun, I also check this thread everyday to see how everything is.

I just couldn't imagine going through what you are OJ. You have so much to cope with and just get on with things without complaining because you have to.

I hope Steve had a comfortable night. I bet loads of us would love to be a fly on the wall when your MIL turns up and sees the SW there on Thursday.

Vev · 07/05/2008 07:03

OJ - hope you're night was OK. Don't worry about Thursday, just enjoy the nice weather we're having!

cositjustisok · 07/05/2008 07:04

Morning OJ
Hope Steve had a restful night and you where able to get some rest too. I know how hard it is to cope with Steve "Hitting out" at you on top of everything else you have to cope with..it just gets so difficult to deal with. My dad was very much the same and I would cry when I left the room after giving him meds etc etc...I found it difficult to blame the illness because I was so involved with his care I could not see the wood for the trees..this added to the stress of caring for him and upset me terribly. It is the f illness and its so sad how it changes our loved ones . Much love to you Steve and the kids...
Hope today is a good one for you all. [hugs]. Thinking of you all as always. x

ChutneyMary · 07/05/2008 07:40

Morning OJ, hope you managed a bit of sleep. It's lovely weather here - hope it's good where you are.

Don't worry about the funeral. His family are cowards and wouldn't have the nerve to say anything in public. Everyone else there knows what a star you have been caring for Steve and will be behind you all the way.

ChutneyMary · 07/05/2008 07:40

Morning OJ, hope you managed a bit of sleep. It's lovely weather here - hope it's good where you are.

Don't worry about the funeral. His family are cowards and wouldn't have the nerve to say anything in public. Everyone else there knows what a star you have been caring for Steve and will be behind you all the way.

barbarianoftheuniverse · 07/05/2008 08:06

OJ, like many others I check every morning and never know what to say.

About your funeral worries, I am sure that if you mention them to whoever is conducting the funeral they will take charge of that concern. This had to happen at my wedding which *someone had threatened to wreck- we told the vicar who very sensibly got everyone in and then before the service began, locked the doors.
*(My MIL problems started very early!)

I am sorry too that she is being so awful. I imagine that among her many mad emotions she is very frightened and very ashamed.

Love to all of you. Hope today is a better day.

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