Glad BIL was chatty- I really do hope that they all come to accept the reality of all of this.
Since you've said that other people's experiences aren't upsetting you I thought mine might help you.
When my Dad died I was fortunate to be told we would have only about an hour left with him that was time to get his best friend and his brother to come and say goodbye.
We lit candles and the lovely ward sister provided some oil in a burner- I still remember the smells and sense of calm and peace there was in the room. We also had come of Dad's favourite music playing quietly.
My stepmum and I were with him, either side of him on his bed, stroking his face and telling him we loved him.
When the end came his breathing became very noisy, he then became twitchy and had a small fit and slipped away looking very peaceful with my stepmum and I on his bed snuggled up with him.
As sad as it sounds, in a bizarre kind of way it was such a special time. I have retyped that sentence a few times and nothing quite fits. Suffice to say if I had to die, that's the way I'd like to go.
Really sorry if I've rambled a bit