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OJ 's HUGS, RUM & CHOCCIE SUPPORT THREAD

1001 replies

bossybritches · 29/04/2008 22:34

Log in here to donate & update with OJ

OP posts:
triflenorks · 05/05/2008 09:51

OJ can I ask something hard?
I know that you have bent over backwards for Steve's Ma ad sibs, but if Steve were to be really, really aware right now would he want his ma and sibs to have anything to do with his last moments, would he want them to have any of the BIG choices in relation to his funeral? Would he want them to call any of the shots, or would he want you to be in charge?
One other question because I am a cow, do you think Steves ma will keep in COotact with Elliot snd the girls.

whispywhisp · 05/05/2008 10:16

I've just read your timeline link OJ. So incredibly hard for you isn't it.

Dealing with the loss of someone so close to you is extremely hard having been there myself. It is very hard for us but also our kids. But somehow my kids helped me get through that dark lonely time and I know, deep down, if it hadn't had been for them I would have been far worse off. xxxx

cadelaide · 05/05/2008 10:19

OJ, as ever, you and your family are in my thoughts.

DutchOma · 05/05/2008 10:22

Have posted on the prayer board for you OJ.
here

With all our love

trulymadlydeeply · 05/05/2008 10:45

Thinking of you? OJ, and sending lots of love.

XXX

Weegiemum · 05/05/2008 10:55

Nothing we can do to help here, but you and your amazing family are in our thoughts and prayers, as you continue to cope with this unbelievably hard time. xxx

paddingtonbear1 · 05/05/2008 11:31

hope Steve has a more peaceful day today. thinking of you xxx

RubyRioja · 05/05/2008 11:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soapbox · 05/05/2008 11:52

OJ - thinking of you in this horrible time.

I also wanted to share with you my experience of my father's death from cancer at home - in case it helps you to be clearer about how you want to handle it.

Dad had spent a day being very agitated, probably a day or so after he had become incontinent, he was also 'bed walking' a lot.

The afternoon he died they put in the morphine popper machine, Dad couldn't use it, but the family could - so that whoever was sitting with him could give him a boost of morphine if he was obviously uncomfortable.

Around 9ish he became very obviously in pain and so we called out the doctors, they gave his a shot of morphine and explained that it would not be long - i.e. hours. The doctor explained that before he died we would witness a marked change in his breathing and then shortly afterwards he would stop breathing. It ran just as he had explained - it was particularly good to know about the change in the breathing pattern as at that point we were able to summon those people who wanted to be with him at the end into the room. In the end, he died very peacefully (and after a long protracted illness with pain along the road, I think it benefited us a lot to see that his death was in the end a 'good' death).

Immediately afterwards we called two of him life long friends to come round and see him before the undertakers took him away - they say in the room with him and toasted him with a good malt! Then around 6am the undertakers came to take his body away - this was probably the hardest part (just to forewarn you).

I think, as long as the pain is well managed, that there will probably be nothing alarming about the death that you should worry about your DC;s witnessing - but I would be worried that they thought he was just sleeping as it did seem a bit like that. If that would make them worried about sleeping themselves or confuse them then you might want to think that through carefully.

As far as Steve's mum is concerned, then I think it would be a nice gesture to call her once his breathing changes - it is likely she won't make it in time but she will get a short while to sit with him before the undertakers arrive. I don't feel you should do this unless you really feel you want to - but although her behaviour has been inexcusable, it is her son who is dying and in the end letting her say goodbye might ease any disputes with her in the after math.

I'm sorry to make this such a long post, and also sorry if it isn't what you want to read right now - but it is difficult to know how much to say and at what point.

Weegiemum · 05/05/2008 11:52

I was with my Gran hours before she died, but as I had to look after my own kids, was not there at the end. My kids got bored very quickly with being in a room where "nothing was happening" even though it was their "GG" who they loved and knew well.

Cant extrapolate for Dad though - must be a totally different experience. THough I do know that my autistic brother has no understanding of things if he doesn't experience them himself. Would being there help them to get their heads round what is happening? It must be so hard for you, let alone your children?

ShinyPinkShoes · 05/05/2008 11:57

In my Dad's final hours my step-mum and I had to make the decision as to whether my much younger siblings should be given the opportunity to be with him.

In the end we decided not to even give them the choice- as we worried that they might make a choice they weren't old enough to make, and that they might regret later in life

No idea if that will help you at all, OJ but I have to say to this day I feel we made the right decision.

I consulted such a timeline when my Dad was ill and recall being told he had around 3-5 days left; in actual fact this was 3 weeks before he died.

Sending you love OJ. xx

janestillhere · 05/05/2008 12:06

OJ I just wanted to say you are in my thoughts alot these days.
I lost my lovely mum 4 weeks ago and the end was so unlike I expected. Her breathing changed near the end and it was loud and scared me. However I gained a little comfort that she herself seemed in no distress (just upsetting for us) She did not respond at all to touch or voices and I feel she had slipped alittle more away from us.
With regards to the funeral I was dreading it - but it was WONDERFUL in the end - her colleagues she worked with from her career in the nhs came from twenty odd years ago and I felt SO PROUD she was my mum. Too soon to lose her of course - in time you will look back and feel honoured your great man was part of your life. xxx
Love to all of you.
I hope I haven't upset you by being so honest. x hugs x

onlyjoking9329 · 05/05/2008 13:01

thanks for all your experiences, i guess i will know what to do at the time depending when it happens, it is usual for brain tumours to be in a coma for the last few days, steve sleeps most of the time now and he looks peaceful when he is asleep.
his brother is due to vist tonight and his mother in the morning, they will notice the changes in him and i hope they don't continue to blame me cos he is getting worse.

NotABanana · 05/05/2008 15:22

If they do blame you, take no notice. They are in denial no doubt and refusing to face up to how they have been. I strongly suspect they will blame you and say you didn't let them know how bad things were.

You are Steve's next of kin and as such you make the decisions about funeral services and burial sites/headstones, etc. If his mother starts just tell her you don't want to discuss it right now and carry on doing what you know Steve would want.

Only you can decide about the children seeing Steve. If I could be so bold as to suggest maybe they spend some time with him but you stay with him alone as he passes on. (God I cried typing that, heaven only knows how you will feel reading it. I am so very sorry if I have upset you.)

As ever if there is anything at all you want any of us to do let us know. I am too far away geographically but good at posting things and think if you often.

BTW My husband was with his Nan when she died last year and he said it was very peaceful and not scary. (She was 85 and died from stomach cancer.)

Madlentileater · 05/05/2008 15:46

Hallo OJ have been watching and reading and thinking of you all but unable to offer much...you say you have had no experience with funerals, and i haven't gathered from your posts that you have any strong religious belief. I just wanted to share with you that I recently went to the funeral of a friend's DC (a young adult who died very suddenly) and it was run by a celebrant from the British Humanist Society, he was excellent, full of compassion and the service so closely tailored to the needs of the family and friends- would not have upset anyone who was religious as there was space for private prayer but to me felt very honest and appropriate. Will check in again later-if you are interested I can give you the link.

whispywhisp · 05/05/2008 15:55

My lovely Dad died alone, at home (Mum at work) and my biggest regret was not having the chance to say that final 'goodbye' and to tell him how much I loved him. Telling him afterwards was extremely hard and I felt cheated that I'd had the chance to tell him myself taken from me.

What I wanted to say was despite it being an incredibly difficult time for you OJ and your family it is also a tough time for everyone else - ie Steve's Mum, twin brother etc. But you know Steve better than ANYONE else. You know who he would like to be with him in his final hours and where he would like to be laid to rest etc. You, and only you, should be making those decisions.

Final note....DH was with his Grandmother when she passed away a couple of years ago - he was very close to her - he said it was the most peaceful moment he'd ever experienced and she was finally free of pain and look of sheer relief just spread across her face. xxxxxx

WendyWeber · 05/05/2008 15:57

oj, the website If I Should Die has lots of helpful information about all the things you are going to have be concerned with when Steve is gone - I know they are things you really don't want to think about, but maybe if you look at them now you will have a better idea of how you want to do things when that awful time does come (and it may help you be calm and confident in dealing with his mother then).

Is there a woodland cemetery near you? That can be a lovely peaceful ceremony, you can do it the way you and the children want, and you don't have to have an official speaker, just all of you and your friends and all your own thoughts about Steve.

WanderingTrolley · 05/05/2008 15:57

Hi oj - just wanted to second Soapbox's post about the undertakers being very hard. You might want to hide upstairs when that time comes. And I think you're right about knowing what's right when the time comes.

You are ensuring Steve so much dignity, you know, and that's really important.

And so what if Steve's family blame you? They are ignorant and unreasonable - it doesn't matter at all what they think. You know you're not to blame. You even bought MIL a card from Steve, and didn't write "Dearest old trout, may the bluebird of happiness shit all over your birthday cake" in it, which most of us would not have managed.

Have you got mates there for when BIL and MIL visit?

WanderingTrolley · 05/05/2008 16:04

WW that's a good site.

Cancerbacup have some info here too

There may be some info on that link that's relevant for now, oj, it's about caring for someone with advanced cancer.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 05/05/2008 17:09

You are right OJ, you will know what to do and when. As you have time to think about it now, you stew on it and go over and over it in your head. But things will work out right, so don't spend time on 'doing your mash' in at the moment.

I hope you get to enjoy some of the sunshine today xx

onlyjoking9329 · 05/05/2008 18:02

i will be back later to read up, thanks for the links i will read later, steve is out for the count and his brother has just rang to say he is coming at 6.30 i am hoping he will be reasonable as i have no one here with me and the kids are here too.

TimeForMe · 05/05/2008 18:05

Thinking of you OJ. I hope Steves brother is reasonable. Sending lots of love, lots and lots! xxx

VaginaShmergina · 05/05/2008 18:13

I'm sure he will be reasonable, seems they like safety in numbers and dont kick off on there own, plus he seems to have been the most reasonable one of them all.

Keep the phone to hand just in case you need to threaten to dial 999.

YeahBut · 05/05/2008 18:14

OJ, you, Steve and the children are so often in my thoughts.

triflenorks · 05/05/2008 18:19

I second Vag, they do seem to kick off when there is more than one of them. Although, I often think Steve's twin is like a sheep, he has perfectly sound and reasonable opinions and offers to sort your mil out when he is on his own, but get him with one of the others he seems to bleat just like them.

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