OJ 's HUGS, RUM & CHOCCIE SUPPORT THREAD

[bossybritches]

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I read your timeline OJ
my mum's cancer was different, but the timeline was very similar.
sending you much love xxxx

OJ, just looking in, can't do or say anything really except
thoughts and love x

OJ, that timeline is so very sad. I feel for you and for the children so much.

Remember that as Steve's next of kin you have the final say on funeral arrangements and where Steve is laid to rest. Do what is right for you, in acc with Steve's wishes.

I don't know what else to say, other than that I think of you, Steve and the children often and send you lots of love and best wishes. God bless XXXX

thanks for that Lapin, i have just done the morphine run so hopefully i will not get a phonecall until 5am, he is too difficult for the care to manage if he needs a wee in the night and he always wants me to help him, he never wants his mother.

I had a look at the timeline too. Best wishes for a comfortable night for you both.

my mum had one of those little boxes for her morphine, think they called it a 'driver' or something - it was instead of giving it orally. she had a line in her hand. would that kind of thing be any good for Steve if things get difficult?
mum got obsessed with it, always wanted to know where it was!

you are a fabulous example to me oj

I am in awe of you

thinking of you are ever

OJ- so terribly sorry to hear things aren't good. I am struggling to think of any books that would really help in this sort of situation, but wondering if the school use social stories with your kids. If so, I am sure somw of us on MN could make a social story type book for you to use with the kids.

Take care and enjoy your chocolate orange.

OJ the timeline seems so final.

So sad for all of you

Please let us know if you need anything, sweetheart.

Hi OJ - hope you got a good night's sleep.

Just checking in - was away for the weekend and only got back late last night.

I read the timeline - it's very stark isn't it?

Hugs to you.

Steve will probably need the driver at some point thou how he is now he would pull it out.
I do have a social story for the kids I need to adapt it as it is too much in one go for them.
all off the book are about after someone has died, not much that prepares for when someone is going to die.
Steve slept until 3am then woke asking for trifle, he is asleep again now.

OJ, I have posted before and often find it very difficult to know what to say, so end up saying not very much at all.

I also don't want to sound morbid, but would like to pass on some information that I would have found helpful at the time of my son's death.

My ds died at home with us and we really couldn't bear the thought of him being laid to rest away from us. So we laid him to rest in his cot at home. So I just wanted you to be aware that it is an option. He was at home with us for two days before he was buried (in a woodland). If a post-mortem was required this wouldn't have been possible.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you find out what your options are now it may be easier to deal with.

I'm sorry if this seems insensitive and crass, but like you I had no idea about funeral arrangements either and had to deal with it during the most retched (understatement) time of my life.

I am sending you all my love and strength xx

Oj, you are in our thoughts as ever.

Good Morning OJ..{{{{hugs to you all}}}}.

Cant think of what to say....never can find the right words to say what I feel about what you are all going through..., but you are a true gem of a lady and your strength amazes me..you are an inspiration to us all. You, Steve and the kids are always in my thoughts. Take care x

Morning my darling, hope you had some sleep. Just checking in XXXX

As always, in our thoughts OJ xxx

Oh, that timeline ... for those of us who have no experience of death of any kind (me included), that makes it so real. I hope you are finding it helpful OJ.

Hope you have a peaceful day with Steve.

I know I need to think about funerals but I can't focus on that too much right now. So sorry to hear about your son I can understand you wanting to keep him close to you.
I don't yet know how to handle it with the kids if they should be withsteve at the end or not, I dont know if it will help them if they see him when he has died or if they will think he is assleep and expect him to wake up, there are too. Many things to think about, none of them easy and we only have the one chance to get it right.
Steve has a sore throat and mouth today so have given him some nysstatin and jelly.
the kids are going out to a paint a pot place with my mate today so they are excited, I had better go get them bathed and dressed.

I know I need to think about funerals but I can't focus on that too much right now. So sorry to hear about your son I can understand you wanting to keep him close to you.
I don't yet know how to handle it with the kids if they should be withsteve at the end or not, I dont know if it will help them if they see him when he has died or if they will think he is assleep and expect him to wake up, there are too. Many things to think about, none of them easy and we only have the one chance to get it right.
Steve has a sore throat and mouth today so have given him some nysstatin and jelly.
the kids are going out to a paint a pot place with my mate today so they are excited, I had better go get them bathed and dressed.

Take your lead from your children, be gentle with them, offer them the opportunity but don't force them if they don't want to.
Lots of love to you all.

OJ ((hugs))

OJ, thinking of you all.XXX
The hospice staff will help you ensure you get the funeral arrangements you, as his next of kin, want for your Steve

Oj - and you may just want some time alone with Steve rather than have to worry about the children not understanding. and actually that time may come when he is at home before the official stuff kicks in.

My best mate died in a hospice I was there at her death and stayed with her for a while afterwards. I felt that was enough for me...

It is a difficult thing with children, I am fully for them going to funerals though - mine seem to have been to too many sadly!

Take care you wonderful woman

OJ am in tears looking at that time line
Rememebr this is only a guide line although some things applied to my mum some didn't and things crossed over different time periods i think each individual is different all i can say is take it one day at a time.