HIV Testing (TW assault)

[PeachBird]

Hi everyone,

I wasn’t really sure where to post this so I hope it’s okay on here but I could really do with a bit of advice from people more knowledgeable than me.

A year ago this week I was sexually assaulted by a man I met on an online dating app, I posted about it on here at the time under another username but to cut a long story short I didn’t report it to the police but blocked him on everything. I went to the sexual health clinic and got swabs and bloods done and had an injection which I believe was to protect against hepatitis and got a text about a week later to say all of these came back negative.

Randomly tonight I’ve had a message from him on social media (it’s a new account) saying that he is now clean and wasn’t in a good place this time last year and that he thought I should know that he was using heroin at the time and he was sleeping with a lot of other people. I never suspected he was using drugs at the time and I remember the nurse at the sexual health clinic specifically asking about this when we were talking about HIV testing. I visited the sexual health clinic 20 days after the assault so I’m worried that some of the tests I had at the time aren’t going to be accurate, especially now he was potentially more risky given the drug use.

Part of me thinks this may be a load of rubbish and it’s a tactic to mess with my head (which has clearly worked!) but in terms of testing does anyone know if my negative results would have been accurate or whether I should be looking at getting further tests?

I would get a further test. HiV can take a while to show up (3 months) on tests. You can do a free test online and post your sample off yourself if you don't want to go in person. If your test comes back negative now you will be fine.

I am so sorry you went through this. Just block this vile rapist and try not to think about this anymore.

I'm so sorry you went through that and that he is now messing with your head. I would get retested to put your mind at rest and block him again.

Thanks both, I’ve managed to get an appointment for 2pm this afternoon, just hope the results come through quickly. I barely slept last night.

Is it worth reporting him to the police, I know it happened a little while ago, but you could potentially save others from this disgusting rapist. Especially if he is potentially infecting people with HIV. Thinking of you and hope your appointment goes OK today x

Keeping everything crossed for you. Let us know how you get on.

I’m so sorry you went through this, and are still going through it. Good luck at your appointment. I hope all is fine.
I too would recommend reporting him to the police. Him messaging you is acknowledging he did something. At the very least it puts him in the spotlight and demonstrates as Gisele Pelicot has shown us all - you have no shame in this he. He needs to feel it.

Report to police the original assault and now the ongoing harassment. Get another HIV test but I think you should be ok.

Sorry you are going through this… Did you get the test this afternoon at your appointment?

I’ve had the blood test done, the nurse was lovely. She also added on a test for syphillis and then hepatitis b and c I think just to be sure. She said 7-10 days for the results but I’m hoping they’ll come through sooner.

Feeling a bit rubbish and anxious tonight. Looking back I wish I’d reported it to the police at the time. I’m worried if I contact them now without any physical evidence it’ll just become a he said/she said situation.

What a mess

I was debating getting one of the instant tests you can buy from boots but the reviews online say people get false positives so that would probably make me feel worse

it is awful waiting for test results, hopefully they will be back sooner. Try if you can to take your mind off it by watching mindless telly and getting out for walks or cycling can also help. Try not to Google !

I mean you can always contact the police, see what they say, it may even be that other women have put in complaints and they have something on record.

If you fear not being believed or having evidence. You could get him to admit it via message that will put you in a better position.

Awful bloke, can you block him? Good you’ve got tested.

OP. About 15yrs ago I had an instant HIV test done at a clinic in london. Cost a few hundred pounds. Is that an option to put your mind at rest?

No need to spend hundreds of pounds nowadays. Sexual health clinics can do point of care tests with immediate results, and you can also buy them OTC from pharmacies like Superdrug (from a quick check currently about £23)

Hi everyone! Just wanted to jump back on here to say I’ve just received a text saying my test results were negative. So relieved!

So relieved for you!

Horrible horrible man..but the one redeeming (not the right word because nothing could ever redeem a rape!) Is that at least he had the 'decency' (again wrong word, but you know what I mean) to let you know so you could get yourself tested.

I hope you're OK. If you felt strong enough to report it then please do but it's not that easy I know.

And to add, keep those messages from him in case you do feel up to reporting him at a later date. Sadly rape convictions are so bloody rare but they'll investigate it and even if he doesn't get charged for it, it will (hopefully!) make him realise that what he did was absolutely not OK and stop him from doing it again

So happy for you

You must be so relieved. I hope you have plenty of support to help you navigate the aftermath of the whole terrible ordeal. Sending a virtual hug x

This is great news @PeachBird. I cannot imagine the stress it has been waiting for the results. Now take some time to care for yourself and try and relax.

I only saw your post today, so pleased for you. I took the same tests years ago, different reasons but reason enough to get tested, it was a horrible wait.