Working on myself ..

[Madremia6]

Just interested .. I seem to read a lot lately about people 'working on themselves' .. what is this and how do you go about it..? As a menopausal newly 50 year old I feel like for the first time in my life I'm lost and need to change or improve lots of things! Anyone else feel this .. ? How do you start to work on improving you ..??

I'm also menopausal. This is how I've worked on myself in the last two years.

Started HRT incl testosterone which has made me feel 25 again.
Had therapy and counselling.
Had massages.
Learnt to swim properly.
Modernised my clothing choices.
Changed job.
Started reading more. (I always read a lot but it tailed off for a while).
Practised yoga a lot.

Is this the sort of thing you mean?

I also eat an exceptionally good diet, walk a lot and weights.

This is exactly what I mean!
How did you find the motivation ? Because if I'm honest I just can't find it ! Maybe that's the point.. maybe the motivation should be that I want to feel better about myself than I do!
Thankyou 🙏🏼

Well, I've always exercised since before children so that didn't stop, if just adapted. So gym visits turned into gym visits and leaving babies in the creche. Which then turned into no gym but running before DH left for work, then I got weights at home and moved to YouTube workouts which is where I am now.

HRT helped a lot. Like a massive amount. I was borderline depressed before that. Although I always exercised, no matter what, as I knew that getting fat wouldn't help matters.

I then hurt my ankle so couldnt run or weights for a while, hence the swimming lessons as I was going mad without hard physical exercise.

The therapy came after something happened which I just couldn't cope with, but has had some really surprising effects on me and my relationships, which due to the meno depression has been really suffering.

Regarding clothes, I have a DD16 who tells me in no uncertain terms if what I'm wearing is OK or not!

Yoga has helped everything. The physical aches and pains, the breathing, the emotional stuff. I invested in a proper mat and work on a wooden floor so I really feel the benefits better than when it's on carpet.

I'm in a significantly better place than two years ago.

Oh and sleep. I added the HRT, Mirena coil, magnesium glycinate and red clover and I sleep like the dead.

Pick one thing a month - at the end of the month do you want to continue it, build on it or stop it

I'd usually suggest some exercise - a walk outside to start with every day

You say you feel lost - do you mean how you look/ physically or what you want with this new stage in life - your last chance probably to really enjoy things before old age might set in ( sometime in the next 30 years )

It's a milestone time in a way - 25 years to grow up / brain mature , 25 years on the hamster wheel and then start to think about yourself

Depends on family of course - if you have young children it's a bit later, and parents needing care can make it tricky - but it's now

Start a notebook - what do you want to do, wish you had done and then plan how to get there ?

Thankyou ..
I think when I say I feel lost just really I don't feel like my old self .. not that I expect to have the vitality I had when I was 30 but for instance exercising.. my job is both sedentary and some days I'm on the go from 8am to 6pm and the thought of doing anything other than flop on a sofa after getting home and preparing dinner/house chores etc just fill me with dread!
Maybe I will start with the one thing a month.
I do think I'm also bordering depressed due to menopause so HRT is something I'm going to look into .
I just feel like my life could do with a bit of a shake up but I don't have the energy or the motivation to do it!!! 🙈

Well I was in danger of chucking myself off a bridge so the HRT was slightly more urgent for me!

And I exercise very early. It won't get done anyway. And by 11am you've forgotten you did it. So I walk for an hour then do a quick swim before work, or do a YouTube hiit video/some yoga depending on time and energy levels that day. And I walk even when it's dark, with a head torch.

Frankly if you want shit to happen, you are the only one who can make it happen. Same with the food you eat. Colleagues have commented on how healthily I eat at work. And I've pointed out that no one is going to eat the healthy food for me - I am responsible for everything I eat.