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The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

991 replies

TopOfTheCliff · 06/07/2024 22:30

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

What It's Really Like To Receive a Cancer Diagnosis

This Mountain Lion analogy is a great way to help understand what it feels like to live with cancer.

https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

OP posts:
Thread gallery
71
Acinonyx2 · 28/12/2024 18:15

@MissMarplesNiece exactly so. Whatever the outcome - there is also the journey.

@SierraSapphire This kind of thing makes me wonder what idiotic insensitive crap I have uttered over the years 😳

SierraSapphire · 28/12/2024 18:59

@Acinonyx2 we've probably all said stupid things at some point, but some things are more stupid than others 😁. At least no one wangs on about my hair anymore, that was the other thing that really annoyed me because every time somebody mentioned it it just reminded me about bloody cancer and chemo!

TopOfTheCliff · 28/12/2024 20:22

I think most people I meet have forgotten about my cancer now as I am back to my normal annoyingly energetic self and my hair has grown back. Now Christmas socialising is done I am keeping away from all the people I have upset or who are annoying me. I think a bit of distance will let things settle down. 2025 is going to be a year when I only spend time with people who enhance life!
I am organising a murder mystery evening with some good friends for next weekend which should be a laugh. Tomorrow I am going to move my boat back to her usual berth so I am off early with a friend to motor along the coast in the misty dawn. Hopefully there will be dolphins and sunshine!
It has stung me to hear criticism from a person I thought was a friend but there is nothing wrong with a bit of reflection and trying to be a better person at New Year. If I thought I was perfect I would be wrong.

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FairyWren7 · 29/12/2024 00:22

@dotty2 I get it. I made some decisions this year that have perhaps slowed down my healing. Congrats on your new job.

Going home to the UK for such a long time created more issues in some ways than it solved. I’ve spent the last few weeks feeling very homesick.

Half of the issue is we need a few more friends here. A pandemic (Melbourne was so locked down) and then all the various gynae surgeries and then cancer stopped me making and keeping up connections - I’ve not exactly been a bag of laughs…

Hopefully this can now change - we went out for dinner last night with a lovely couple around our age, dog lovers, no kids! (Not that that is an issue but most people in their mid-forties are deep in the trenches of early teens etc or younger). I actually knew what they were talking about - with some of the younger cosplay lot I need a translator. So fingers crossed it works out - we have plans to have some other catch up! 🥳

I also didn’t mention my cancer etc. It’s hopefully in the past now. Only one more month of immunotherapy - I’m still feeling sinusy and sore throats due to ongoing low immunity. But hopefully come end of Jan that will be gone!

Neatly finished the chocolate roulade. Pic below - it was epic. Best Christmas pudding ever. 80% dark chocolate so all the benefits I hope! You can see how proud I was of it with my ‘Insta’ style pics… 🤣

The Great Cancer Recovery part 3
FairyWren7 · 29/12/2024 00:52

Thanks for the update about outnumbered - I love that show. Watched the Finale of Gavin and Stacey - utterly brilliant! Being very lazy today.

SierraSapphire · 29/12/2024 06:49

Ooh, the chocolate roulade looks great! I still have a M&S sticky toffee pudding in the fridge that I bought for Christmas Day, but nobody (including myself) could eat. I threw some chocolates in the bin yesterday, my eating has got a bit out of control the past few months and I've started to put weight back on which I don't like, so I need to go back to my post-cancer more healthy diet and not mindlessly eat sweet stuff just because it's there.

I sort of feel like I could do with more friends @FairyWren7 - but I think what I'm missing is a group of friends, I've got lots of individual friends but it always feels like quite an effort to arrange to see them separately. When the kids were smaller we had a group which was probably socially the best time of my life, but people split up, and we drifted apart. Because I don't really have a family beyond a couple of individual relationships with people it's easy to feel a bit disconnected.

I'm sat in bed at the moment, I'm going to get up and go to a bodypump class in a little bit, then I might see if anyone wants to go out for a walk and a coffee.

TopOfTheCliff · 29/12/2024 22:13

It sounds as though the emerging theme for 2025 is going to be (re)Building Friendships. (2024 has been about improving fitness). I agree @SierraSapphire about that time when DC were small and we hung out with several families in our little town and it was all easy. Since my divorce and the cancer treatments some of those friendships have come a bit unstuck, although I still see the friends. Our DC are still friends and there are weddings and babies to coo over. I moved 15 miles away with DH so I have to work harder to stay in touch but I do have a host of new friends where I live. I think I am happier in my own company since Lockdown and chemotherapy so I am only going to bother with the Quality Friends who add to my life. Also my recent experience being called out for bitching has made me reflect. “If you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all” is going to be my new motto.
Tomorrow I have been invited out by two gentle friends who are upset at how I was attacked verbally. I am steering clear of the group with the critical leader for now. But as advised by my DD I am Quiet Quitting 😎
I hope you found somebody to go for coffee with @SierraSapphire . I saw one dolphin today and some winter puffins, but there was only about five minutes of sunshine on the whole voyage. We had coffee and Christmas cake to keep us going. It was a lovely day out.

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FairyWren7 · 30/12/2024 00:07

@SierraSapphire Ive reached the same point with chocolate - I’ve just finished my chocolate raisins with coffee this morning…🤣

I know what you mean about groups of friends - that’s what I loved about the summer, having my gang again. We even had a WhatsApp group called the 3am Gang…However I can see that fun though it was it wasn’t the way I want to permanently live my life - the odd 3am night out is ok but not every weekend. Still it was glorious, and so much fun. So many funny moments - made me feel like I was my crazy 18 year old self again - no worries - all I thought about was what to wear and where we were going! Maybe I’ll have a month like that whenever I go back to the UK!

I need to build connections - there are a few people here I should reach out to. Including one lovely lady who also has a schnauzer who invited me to go to India with her! However I wasn’t well at the time and despite my past adventures I’ve never really fancied India!

I’ve got my art classes - weirdly it’s all female teachers and I think we/they are all doing it for peace and quiet… so it’s not really the right place to make close friends.

I also need to do some fitness stuff… I’m a member of a gym but just use the pool. I would like to do some yoga. Hmm nearly time for New Years list of things I’d like to do!

@remaker I’ve just caught up with the thread and saw your news about your daughter’s results and Uni! That’s brilliant news! Congrats to you all!

@TopOfTheCliff I think you are right 2025 - focus on friendships and for me fitness. I need to lose a lot of weight. So the focus needs to be on small changes to get that off.

Penguinsa · 30/12/2024 00:10

Yes the seals are lovely there MissMarples hope you get to go back to see the pups. These ones are there Dec/ Jan, this was our third Boxing Day in a row and really nice thing to do in December/ January. They were quite vocal.

Dolphin and puffins sounds great Top

Cake looks great Fairywren

DH is now in France for 5 days and rest of us are here. I am WFH on week days and enjoying it. Floof has been so sick but getting better now. I think he overate the Christmas food. Thought it might be a vet job but he is back purring and playing today and cuddly again and had a little food and some water so think he's on the mend now. DD said she checked on him 6 times in the night, he's like her baby. DH has been asking for regular updates and offering to come home for the cat, the cat he didn't really want but is besotted with. Told him we are fine. He had a terrible journey to France, motorway shut, one shuttle had failed so massive delays and didn't get there until 3am, about 13 hours after setting off. But his family and friends are there so nice for him. DD has a New Years party. We don't have anything planned though there tends to be street parties here first week of January.

Just got a message from DH about the cat, his last one was less than an hour ago. 😻 Ordered lots of cakes for DSs birthday. I hope 2025 is good to us all. It will be the year of new adventures for me initially. 2024 was such a good year, am hoping it continues but always apprehensive things could suddenly change but will enjoy life and experience as much as I can before that. I hope to keep fitness up in 2025, met target of 3 to 5 hours a week in both 23 and 24. Must get to sleep now.

Remaker · 30/12/2024 01:19

Hello all I’ve been unable to read or post for a couple of days as a huge full screen ad for Qatar kept popping up and I couldn’t get rid of it! Have been complaining to admin without much success but I’ve worked out how to hide it at least temporarily when it appears now.

Now I’m very behind so apologies if I miss anything significant.

It was my birthday yesterday and I was quite grumpy most of the day. Not sure why that was but the gifts that had obviously been bought at the last minute didn’t help haha! Even DD who is normally an excellent shopper bought me a pair of trainers identical to ones I already own (that she bought!) just in a slightly different colour so now I’ll have to return them. We went out for dinner last night with our neighbours and that was nice so the day ended well.

My brother’s flu has turned to full blown man flu so he’s not visiting mum or available to help ferry her to appointments and I’m feeling resentful. We are supposedly having a replacement Christmas gathering after NY but ‘he’ll have to see how he feels’. Insert eye roll here!

@Penguinsa I hope floof feels better soon! I’m keeping an eye on one of my cats who seems to be drinking and sleeping more than usual though it is around 30 degrees most days and she’s still in good spirits when awake.

@TopOfTheCliff quiet quitting sounds like the best way to deal with your unkind friends. I am trying to broaden my friendship circles but did find I lost a few during cancer and a couple of friends have written me off now I’m not working. I hope they never have a medical condition derail their careers!

@FairyWren7 one of my dear friends has two miniature schnauzers that are rescued and she keeps us entertained with their exploits and emotional neediness. I too love a good night out but I feel guilty afterwards about not looking after myself well enough. It’s not ideal for a regular lifestyle but certainly fun on occasion!

Penguinsa · 30/12/2024 03:49

Happy birthday for yesterday Remaker 🍰Thanks about Floof, he is with me now, still not eating much at all but otherwise seems back to himself, I wonder if it was the Christmas turkey that did it. Hope your cat is OK, it's good they are drinking more if it's hot. Floof has ice cubes in his water when it's hot as he has a lot of fluff. It's not often hot here.

FairyWren7 · 30/12/2024 05:17

@Remaker ive been dealing with the same ad. Insult to injury as I lived there for two years and really wasn’t keen on it as a place at all. Dubai is much nicer! (And I’m not even that fussed about that!)

FairyWren7 · 30/12/2024 05:38

@Remaker belated Happy Birthday! Time to treat yourself to something!

We’ve just been shopping and the highlights were a raspberry pink fossil handbag at less than half price and a leaf sucker!!!! I’ve wanted the leaf sucker for ages as I am sick of sweeping up all the leaves off the big tree outside that fall on our driveway!

I’m so middle aged…

Schnauzers are the best… some people love him others cross the road…

@Penguinsa hope floof is better soon - we may need another pic! Our cat is sleeping about 23 hours a day at the moment. She’s not even sitting in her usual spot in the front garden because the noisy miner birds keep swooping her. She went out yesterday and the dog went too like some sort of support animal! See pic!

The Great Cancer Recovery part 3
Penguinsa · 30/12/2024 06:45

That's so cute Fairywren and love the picture.

Floof is back on form, 6am he was trying to do forward rolls on my headboard so rather than have 8kgs of cat land on my head I got up and he decided a game would be good and was leaping and charging around playing with me. Then he's just been in to DD and bashed her on the head with his big fluffy paw and she's just given him a tuna he's eating and now trilling.

FairyWren7 · 30/12/2024 22:12

@Penguinsa Animals are the best!

dotty2 · 31/12/2024 18:50

Sending good wishes to you all for a 2025 full of recovery and hope. And happy new year to our Australian contingent who are already in 2025.

DH and I are off to a party with friends tonight and both my DDs are having a few friends round here. I’m slightly nervous about what we’ll find on our return but they are both pretty sensible. And I had an afternoon nap in preparation for a late night. I was awake this morning at 5.45 annoyingly but it did mean I got to the pool early for my last swim of the year.

25Penguin · 31/12/2024 21:28

Have a wonderful time Dotty

Hope 2025 is kind to us all and happy New Year.

Also did last swim of the year and chatted to the lady who is like a mouse and she didn't stop talking, it was lovely. DH is back. Floof sick again. DD out for a party. We will stay here to be with DS with prosecco etc.

FairyWren7 · 01/01/2025 00:03

@dotty2 Thanks Dotty - we went to see the fireworks down the beach. It was so busy!

Happy New Year everyone!

TopOfTheCliff · 01/01/2025 01:08

Happy New Year to all of us. May 2025 be kind to us!
We went down to a very cool pub in town with a DJ to meet a friend. There was a beer tasting menu! It was fun but we were all on our way home by 9pm. We watched the fireworks from the top of our cliff. HNY!

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SierraSapphire · 01/01/2025 07:17

Happy New Year everyone! I went out during the day for breakfast, walk in the woods, and then to see the new Robbie Williams film (which I thought was great!), but I didn't stay up until midnight. I was feeling a bit sad about moving into a New Year without my DM so did a bit of reflection on that.

Hoping for a year this year with no crises of any description! Weather is crap, but I'm going to a yoga class a bit later and may attempt an outdoor swim, then back to work tomorrow.

MissMarplesNiece · 01/01/2025 07:26

Happy New Year everyone. I hope it blesses us all with good health and continued recovery.

TopOfTheCliff · 01/01/2025 12:51

@SierraSapphire after the last five years I am very keen on a quiet and unexciting 2025. Like you we are missing MIL and FIL and my DF so we will treasure DM this year. I am hoping for two weddings for DC and perhaps a much wanted baby for DD. I am slowly getting stronger and slimmer so I just need to carry on doing what I do. It goes without saying that I don't want any excitement on the health front!
@Penguinsa when is your flight? It can't be long now. We will all be so excited for you.

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thesandwich · 01/01/2025 16:24

Happy new year all - had a lovely relaxed meal with dd who went home today.
wishing us all health and peace in 25- and yes, @25Penguin when is it?
Thanks to everyone here for their support and advice in 24.

SilkieP · 02/01/2025 03:18

Hope everyone has a good New Year. I am going to go off MN and delete my account but if anyone wants to stay in touch can give my email via PM. Just need to keep things more confidential now.

SilkieP · 02/01/2025 11:46

Just to add I only have access to PMs via this SilkieP username, someone told me they had used a different name but its only this username getting through.